Lady's Night Out 02/26/11

The LNO in Toms River is a nice venue that is distanced, almost equaly, between Atlantic City and NYC for CD's to experience an evening with other CD's in a straight environment, especially for CD's looking to transition between their "closet" or gay club only venues into how they will be accepted by straight people.This can be a daunting situation without support, I don't think I would have come out of my closet if my wife hadn't given me the support she had.

I don't go to LNO often due to distance and also because I find my interaction in the "traditional" community is more fun for me, besides, I'm not trying to pass myself off (any longer) as a mentor for other CD's, although if someone asks for my help or experiences I will try to keep them from damaging their reputation so they can keep their doors open to go public if they ever want to, hey, we all have our needs and attractions but we have to be adult about it too.

This Saturday I went with a (platonic) friend that my wife and I helped a couple years ago. Because we could share the ride and he/she doesn't get much opportunity to meet other CD's that may be interested in what he's looking for and I have no reservations about that, I've even tried to help him/her with that. First we went to a restaurant we've gone to before. We ordered our meals and the owner stopped by our table to ask me why he hadn't seen me as much as usual. He then said "when you walk in, you own the place" saying that he and everyone else looks forward to seeing me and talking with me. This is a very family orientated establishment, I was very proud of his comments especially in front of my friend, it just proved my philosophy that if you act no differently in your "Alter Ego" as you would in your normal day to day life (most) people shouldn't have an issue with you.

My friend called me the next night and commented about the experience and used the term "your a Rock Star", every where I go with you people come over for you to recognize them, they are proud you know them or they know you. My life was never one anyone would want to have as Lou, but when I'm Louise, it almost seems everyone wants a little bit of me, some want it for reasons that have hurt me too, because when I say, do or offer myself it's done from my heart with no renovations, but the people I have offered the most to have given me the least in return as far as friendship. Possibly they're afraid I want to take some of their spotlight, I only what to offer more of myself to them.

Louise

When you have nothing else to lose

I have put a label on our concerns about "being made" and how the general public will treat or accept us, I call it "THE WHEEL CHAIR EFFECT". Meaning many CD's are not fortunate enough to be passable, so when out people will have a tendency to, elbow, whisper, raise their eyebrows towards you or any thing else to give notice to a companion of what you are. I've discovered that depending on how one presents themselves in any venue will help people to accept and appreciate your openness and honesty.

As a few other CD girls here I am very comfortable in public and am out 2-3 times a week, sometimes with my wife. As a matter of fact my wife and I or myself alone have helped many "girls" go out for their first adventure in public. Not only do I shop, but also share my "Louise" persona with everyone who knows me as Lou.


Saturday night my wife (Millie) and I went to Brigantine to a "Red Neck" joint, it's all locals and most are in the construction field so, they're "manly men". As I came in, there were 2 big guys at the bar with their wives' I assume, the one asked if I had seen the YouTube video of the Brigantine Polar Bear Plunge 2011, I didn't realize it was posted, but I looked it up and there I was with Millie, around the middle of the video. The other fellow reminded me he had removed my gasoline tanks from my service station property a few years ago. The impressive part is here are two big guys well known in this "Red Neck" bar who had the courage to talk with me and treat me with respect.

We went over to a table where a few friends were and behind them were two ladies who obviously notice what I was. As the night progressed the one lady keep smiling towards me, it was my obligation to introduce myself, remember "wheel chair effect". I went over and said hello, I'm Louise. We talked a while and she became so comfortable with me she told me about some very personal family issues, nothing sexual, but about her relationship and unhappiness with her husband and children and all she had done for them and lack of respect she had received in return. The only answer I could give her was.

"When you realize you have nothing left to lose, you will finally do what you want to do to make yourself happy".

CuteLouise

Sometimes I worry to much

Today I went to a Camber of Commerce meeting. Due to the type and direction of this group I've tried to keep my "Louise" persona at home, I just don't feel it's appropriate and besides I don't claim to be "Trans Gendered" I'm only a very open and accepted "Cross Dresser" although some may argue that.

I sat with 2 gentlemen who worked for Comcast and were also into athletics (I used to be a competitive cyclist) so it was an impetus for conversation. As the meeting was getting close to beginning 3 women came to our table and we all introduced ourselves. This group is all about networking businesses and I was asked mine, so I just mentioned I represented my wife's jewelry store.

One of the ladies ask, why do I know you, you look very familiar, the other younger one chimed in and said the same thing. I attempted to just brush it off saying I've been around the area all my life and had owned 4 businesses locally, I just wanted to keep Louise out of the conversation. Then the lady sitting next to me noticed my nails, she said "Oh, now I know who you are", I said, you must know my "alter ego" she nodded and had a huge smirk on her face as if she swallowed a bird. The lady who hadn't said anything now say's, you have to tell us who you are, it's killing us to know.

I said OK, I'm not and entertainer, but I am entertaining, all the time the lady who recognized me is dying to tell them, since the "jig was up" (so to speak), I handed them my business card with my Louise picture on it. To my surprise they had absolutely no issues and one of the Comcast guys said I'll see if I can do something for you on your cable bill. The pretty girl asked me to come to the next meeting dressed, hum, I don't know about that.

Then another interesting conversation with a man and woman. I'm told I'm built pretty good, so the man who was about mid 40's asked me how much I work out, he said he had a personal trainer and would love to be built like me some day, that was very complimentary, I haven't lifted weights since I was 16 but I still ride bike with a race group. The lady who manages 2 local bank branches said her husband is a body builder and also a hair dresser, I asked if his shop was in a nearby location, she said yes, I wonder if she knows he CD's too and has hit on me on the Internet.

As I was leaving the restaurant, there was an older gentleman waiting by the entrance and asked me as we walked out together, what's your profession where everyone was talking to you, at this pint I became a little braver and said I was entertaining and handed him my card, he said, I'm from New Hope, come up sometime. We also have a mutual friend who plays piano.

The lunch was good.

One of the reasons I don't care

I was out last Wednesday evening in Margate. I had been in business that town for quite a while. As I was leaving a popular night spot (as Louise) a person I've seen and had general conversations with started to talk with me, a moment later his friend came over and the person I was talking with introduced me to him. the new guy said, I know who you are, I just shrugged it off because I'm very comfortable that people know me both ways, although I really have difficulty recognizing a lot of people, I hope I don't come off as being rude, it's just something I can't help.

Nevertheless, he mentioned 3 times he knew who I was and then said "yeah, my buddy has his pickup at your place being worked on". Gee, I thought my memory was bad, I think I sold my property about 8 years ago and when they tore it down they built 4 houses on it, I better go back in the morning to make sure I didn't forget that I may still be working.

No wonder I don't care what people think, I've been blamed for more than I could have ever done in my life time, that's one of the reasons I go out in disguise (maybe). I also wonder who the poor guy is that is being mistaken for me. One of my friends who had another shop was always being told he was me too, he finally asked to have a picture with him so he could prove he wasn't me.

The Union League of Philadelphia

I could have swore I had posted about this experience a few years ago about a dinner I was invited to at The Union League of Philadelphia. It was for exclusive clients of a very large and popular investment firm so everyone there were of upper class and then there was me, Louise.

If you're not familiar with the Union League of Philadelphia it's one of the most exclusive and oldest men's clubs in America. You can look up the requirements to become a member and other details online.

As I walked into this very ornate and unique building I was a little concerned as to how I would be accepted, there was nothing i had in common with anyone else there. I was introduced to the investment firm managers by my account executive, I'm sure they were all a little speechless but also very reserve.

I was directed to the dining room and only saw one other couple there, so I went over and introduced myself. The gentleman, very stately and obviously someone who would belong to
this type organization, it is a "white Anglo saxon blue blood" group, so I was concerned he would be a little direct or stand offish towards me, but to my surprise as the evening progressed he became very friendly.

This was my experiance.

The room filled very quickly, each table seated 10 people, he sat next to his wife a good 2 feet away from me, but we still talked. I decided to go to the bar for a glass of wine, he, I asked his profession, was a lawyer, offered the escort me to the bar, I was really surprised. He asked what I was drinking and I asked for a Merlow, to my surprised he ordered the same for himself, his wife still had her drink. That surprised me, because being around people of upper status, they usually like a Scotch or Bourbon, don't ask me why, I can't drink that stuff.

We came back to the table and he moved his seat half way between myself and his wife. We talked about investments, he gave me a great stock which I bought and has done great for me even during the drastic down turn. We were served dinner and I was ready for another class of wine, I excused myself and he offered to escort me again, he ordered for both of us, not his wife, who I had only greeted when I first walked in but never talked with after that. When we got back to our table he moved next to me, leaving his wife about 2 feet from him, it had nothing to do with being attracted to me, I think he was just being polite and it was easier to talk.

We only talked a little while longer till the meeting started and afterwords were server desert and coffee. The other people wanted to join into our conversation and for what ever reason it felt to me that I was leading the whole conversation at the table, no one was rude or patronizing, it was as if I was just the center of attention (which I do love) but I wasn't looking or expecting that in that type environment, these were all professional people or large business owners. As I said, when I first walked in I was quite unsure as to how this level of group would accept me, they did a good job. I wish I could meet the person I sat with again, he made me feel like I belonged. I really admire people who can look beyond the outside shell and see inside, my hat is off to him and the others I was with that night.

Funny song about a CD

Last night I was at the home of one of my longest lasting employees. I was not Cross dressing at that time. We were both fairly rugged types, nature of the business. I was pretty surprised at how well he accepted my "femme persona" as Louise, we didn't part on the best of terms. He had met Louise about 5 or 6 years ago at a local tavern that has since closed. Since then we have renewed our friendship.
Last night was his wife's birthday and we were invited. He has around a 1950's juke box and was playing some songs, when he mentioned a couple he had heard but never really understood the lyrics to them until he decided to look them up.
The 2 in question were "Lola" and "Bobbi with an I", both happened to be about Cross dressers.
The interesting thing is he resembles in manners the singer and I resemble in actions the tow truck driver.
I found the lyrics and this link for "Bobbi with and I", it's cute.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCpuPZ73wfA

Miss'D America 2011

My friend Diane Mitchell, from WAYV 95.1 radio asked my wife and I to join her and her friends for Sunday night at the annual Miss'D America (Drag parody) contest done for charity, she happens to be a very kind and beautiful woman. As we went into the convention center and upstairs there was a pre-party with food and a bar.

Some of the Drag Queens were mingling with the crowd and a lot of my old customers were there also. Of course it was a great photo opportunity and my old acquaintances wanted their pictures with me, I also wanted at least one with one of the Drag girls, I think the picture exemplifies the differance between what a Drag Queen wants to present themselves as and how a TG Cross Dresser wants to. And if you're not sure who I am, I'm the litte one.

The show turn out to be very professional, the new directors who also manage the Convention Center controlled it this year. In a way it takes something away from the whole experience though. When it was at Studio Six the show was funny because as much as the girls may have rehearsed they always were fowling up and it was hilarious.

One thing I thought that had made the show better was they brought in all new contestants from different States, there were 8this year. Previously the contestants were the same ones year after year and they rotated the winners. They did include the old local girls as part of some of the skits and also as chorus line girls, but very with limited dialog.

The Drag girls did have to present themselves in talent and evening gowns, but during the week they also were graded for other activities.

This year’s MC was Suzanne Westenhoefer, activities she’s very witty and polite and she mentions that often on stage that she is a Lesbian. I met her last year in person at a “meet and greet” after a show and found her to be very attentive to me and others, a good person who doesn’t sound patronizing when off stage or on for that matter, I liked her.

New Year's day with the Polar Bear Club

Saturday I was up early and dressed so we could go to the Polar Bear Splash in Brigantine. There were about 1500 spectators and maybe 150 brave souls, who I joined for the swim.

Before the ceremonies people were taking pictures of others in their costumes, I guess I was very noticeable and had about 20 different people who needed their picture with me. I've never claimed I pass, I'm fairly muscular and (some people call) stocky, I prefer to say I'm full figured. tust me, if I could be tall and thin I'd go for it. All I knew and cared about was how everyone was kissing me and wanting a picture of and with me. My wife was taking the pictures.

div>There were some ceremonies and at 12 noon sharp blew the horn for us to make the splash. I was in the front, but didn't need to be first in, people were running by me like there was a fire sale at Macy's. I guess I finally got in after 3/4 of them passed me. Surprisingly the water wasn't that bad, I went in about waist level, I could mess my makeup or hair.

Afterwards a lot of participants went to the Rod & Reel, sort of a "Red Neck" joint, but a lot of fun to go to. They were giving out prizes for the most imaginative costumes, they had 3 category's, I won first place for one of them. All in All it was a really nice day, I hope the rest of the years goes as well.

New Years Weekend

My wife and I had an interesting New Year's weekend. We went to a restaurant/lounge in Margate, the owner and all his family were customers of mine when I was in business, he cuts me no break, but makes me feel very welcome.

I let my wife out at the front door and spent about 15 minutes locating a parking spot. When I came in she had found a seat and was talking with a man a little younger than us. I came over and hung my coat over hers and put my purse on the bar. This fellow looked at me and then started to talk with me, I'm not sure he made me right away, he obviously had a couple drinks and was enjoying himself and my quote is "the more you drink, the better I look". Anyway, he was nice to talk with and gave me is business card.

Then a lady who I had met last NYE at the same lounge came over with a friend, she had recognized about 6 months later me at Home Depot when I was leaving and some how knew who I was, she reminisced the situation with my wife, it was funny, I did a Blog on it a few months ago about it.

The Bank

Yesterday I stopped by my bank to get some cash and found the ATM to be out of service, I figured I was going to the Costco in Manahawkin anyway so I would stop there.

I needed to get more than the normal amount and the machine does ask if you'd like more than what the defaults are, I pressed the amount I wanted, but it wouldnt allow the withdraw so I went to a teller window. After she gave me what I needed she asked if I had a couple minutes to talk with one of the managers about my balance and getting a little more interest, of course I always like free money.

The woman manager was going over my account and saw I also had my wife and a Louise on it, she asked who Louise was, I said my twin sister, I said she is really beautiful. I couldn't resist to show her a picture of Louise. Of course she was really surprised at how young and attractive she was, she asked how old is she, I said she's my twin, the same age, she looked at my drivers licence and said no way, I then clued her in and told her it was me.

She turned out to very very interested in the whole life style and kept me for about 20 minutes discussing it. As I was ready to leave, she reached over her desk and gave me a big kiss right on my lips. You know they have cameras all over the place in banks and her office was all glass.

Guess I made an impression on her. Next time I'll go as Louise.

Santa Claus and Louise

Last week Santa Claus came to visit The Ram's Head Inn. Santa seems to have an eye for attractive and "special" girls. He asked me to sit on his lap and tell him is I was a good girl or not, of course anyone who knows me knows I'm a good girl. But Santa wanted to know if I was especially good and if I wanted a special gift. At that point I wasn't sure if I had to be "naughty or nice", I chose to be nice. Dirty old Santa.

Just for Kids Foundation

Last week I went to a nice event at the Atlantic City Country Club in Linwood, NJ. It was for a good cause and I hope all the kids enjoy their gifts. The group I am part of also donated 2500.00 in cash to the organization which happens to be all volunteer so the only fees are for postage.

The eye Doctor

I don't post articles if they don't have something to do with Louise, this does.

I've been fighting what I was told was an allergy condition in my left eye, and was prescribed medication for it for the last 3 weeks. Today I woke up with pain, redness and crust around it. I decided to get a second opinion and was lucky there was an opening within an hour.

The Dr was in the exam room within 2 minuets and he recognized me from about 2 years ago, I asked had he ever met me out and he said we may have, but he could have been dressed too (he was comfortable joking with me), then He asked if I were wearing panties, he said he was. I was getting a little annoyed, I felt he was being some what unprofessional, but I recall he was that way the first time I met him.

Then he reminds me he is an Olympic level Fencer, and relates a recent occurrence. There is a person (male) who also Fences at the same level as my Dr, he said he was very good. Well, this person had SRS and came back after 3 years as a registered woman Fencer and won the woman's title. I said I don't think that's fair, he said the only thing the rule book says about trans-sexual is they had to be on hormones and the surgery for at least 3 years, so he was qualified.

I haven't researched it, but I'll take his word. Anyway, Louise can't wear her contacts for a week.

The Funeral

Today I went to a funeral of a person who went way to soon, he left 3 daughters and his wife. I had met my wife at his families Sub and Pizza shop years ago in Margate, it was a hangout similar to the one "The Fonz" hung out at on the TV show, Happy Days.

I went to the reception and as I walked in a woman who I didn't recognize immediately recognized me but wasn't sure where from, she told me who she was and I had known her sister who happened to be the sister of the deceased first (estranged) ex wife.

At the table I was sitting at was a classmate who started to discuss my wife, the lady who thought she recognized me remembered my wife's name and then said I know who you are, she said your Lou and shook her breasts like an old time Burlesque Queen and said out loud, you're LOUISE, she ran around the table and gave me a big kiss and hug. I had wanted to keep my alter ego out of the conversation, this reception wasn't about me.

The other woman who's husband was my classmate then started to discuss the last two reunions I went to as Louise and was critiquing my clothes, she remembered everything I wore and all the conversations we had, she even remembered what I had worn to an AVON meeting I went to with my wife about 10 years ago.

WOW, I guess I do have an affect on people.

All good things come to an end

As they say "All good things come to an end"

The good part first. I met an old friend who brought Dennis Gomes to the dinner. He is the new owner of Resorts International casino, he was caviler enough to allow me to have a picture with him and his wife, also my friend, ex-councilman John Shultz wanted his picture with me.

This past Monday my wife and I went to an Epicurean dinner event (we are members of the society). The society has adopted a new pricing policy, our membership is 17.50 a month and used to be an extra 10.00 dollars per member for the dinners, if you attended each one it came out to about 18.00 per person, the new fee is the same membership fee but 30.00 per member, about 38.00 per person. The society pays a flat fee of 1200.00 dollars no matter how many people show or what is on the menu. Usually 75-100 people attend, someone is picking up a nice pay check.

OK, it's a little high but if the food is good it's a nice social evening out. BUT, this and the last couple of dinners we attended were worse than McDonald's and not worth the price of a big Mac.

Millie only had two items from the "buffet" and was sick the whole night, I had 4 items and all were as best a very poor attempt at being called cuisine, it was a disgrace.

In the press again

Linwood cross-dressing cycling enthusiast and his family are comfortable with him as Lou or Louise

By ELISA LALA, Staff Writer | Posted: Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Lou Tate sat in a chair in his Linwood home, his stockinged legs crossed at the ankles, graced by a silver bracelet.
"Nice to meet you," he said, extending a hand and brushing blonde bangs away from his blue eyes, bright with eyeshadow. "You can call me Lou when I'm talking about Lou and Louise when I'm talking about Louise."
A retired auto mechanic and competitive cyclist, Tate, said he is heterosexual and married - and has always been attracted to the female image.
"I've always wanted to touch it, wear it, bring it closer," he said. Thus, Louise Tate was born - the woman's persona Lou frequently wears.
Tate said Louise was introduced to the world on Halloween 1997 - "the crossdresser's national holiday," he said - and she came to stay.
"Louise is as much a part of my life as Lou is," said Millie Tate, 55, who has been married to Lou for 32 years.
Tate said what draws him to dressing as Louise is the way people reacted to her, referring to his male persona as "sort of plain."
Looking back on the past 13 years as both his male and female versions, Tate said Lou is mistreated and ostracized, while Louise is intriguing and attractive, well accepted and often spoken to. Tate said his ultimate goal is for people to accept him as both: "If you like Louise, you should like Lou, too."
Millie Tate, who said she is introverted, said Lou Tate dresses as a woman to make people notice. She said her husband knows someone wherever they go, and usually is in the center of a crowd of new friends.
Lou Tate agreed that the attention attracts him. "Louise is my vehicle to the spotlight," he said. "I see people whispering and I love it."
He said that unlike Lou, Louise is always asked to be a part of the scene. "As conservative as this area may seem, it surprises me how much people like Louise," he said.
At first he said, he was "scared stiff" to show the world Louise, especially people who already knew him. Now, he said, he is comfortable and confident as a woman.
Lou Tate said he belongs to two cycling clubs, and when he rides - 150 miles three days a week - he is dressed as Lou. But if he has a club meeting, he may show up as Louise.
"If I'm going out for drinks later, I'll already be done up," he said. "Some people like it; some say just don't tell us about it, and I respect that."
Anyone who doesn't like Louise doesn't have to associate with her, Tate said. "It's disheartening when people try to defame me, but i just walk away and act like a lady," he said.
Millie Tate said that when Lou first began dressing a woman she felt uneasy about how others would judge her family. "People would always ask me why I'm crazy enough to allow it," she said.
But after seeing Lou's happiness in cross-dressing, she gave up caring, she said. She even became Louise's full-time, live-in makeup artist, waking up an hour and a half earlier to do it.
"I said to him, 'If this is what you want to do, I'll support you. But I'm going to make sure you don't look like a clown with big hair. You have to look like a lady,'" Millie said. "The bottom line is Lou is a good husband."
Contact Elisa Lala:
609-272-7201
ELala@pressofac.com
Posted in NORTHFIELD LINWOOD SOMERS-POINT | ATLANTIC on Wednesday, October

Bella Luna at Lucy in Margate - June, 2010

BELLA LUNA OCEANFRONT DINING AT LUCY THE ELEPHANT

Very busy week

Starting with Monday night, I went to "Out at the Inn" at the Ram's Head Inn, in Absecon, NJ. It's called a mixer and everyone is invited and accepted (unless you're looking to fill your drug prescription in the rest room). It was a slow evening which is unusual.

Wednesday I was asked to be interviewed by the Press of Atlantic City "Hometown" section, but I'm not sure it will run because they ran an article about me 7 years ago. Her photographer wasn't with her during the interview but on Friday another person wanted to interview me from Stockton State collage for her Physiology course, the press photographer had arranged to be at my home for that interview.

Since I was dressed Wednesday and Friday I went out, I normally do on Friday anyway. Both nights we OK, but again very slow at the two places I went.

Saturday night I went to Brigantine with my wife, we had fun there and did some Karaoke, I must admit I pass and look much better than I sing. As my wife and I were leaving, a guy who was smoking and also made a comment to his buddy inside stopped me and asked "what's your story", I politely replied, I enjoy dressing up to go out, my wife chimed in, "we've been together MANY years and I love him for who he is. TALK ABOUT SUPPORT..

I had also done some shopping at the local thrifts Wednesday and Friday and found a nice purple "Nancy Ganz" body briefer I wore as a dress. Everyone thinks Madonna started the rave about wearing underwear as outerwear, but I taught her, I've dressed like that before she was around.

Pictures next time.

Millville Craft Show

A couple weeks ago a friend of my wife ask us to come to the Millville "Arts & Craft show".

It started out as a light rainy day so I didn't feel guilty about missing my bike race, I needed the break anyway. I was dressed by 10:30 AM and our usual venue is we go to a local restaurant for breakfast. I've been there quite a number of times as Louise, but the new cashier has never seen me. As I walked in she dropped her jaw and asked me to just stop where I was so she could check me out.

As we sat in our both one person who knows us came over and sat with us until our food came. After we were done I needed the rest room (I use the men's). Of course as I walked in I was given a few stares and as I was leaving a patron was entering with his roughly 8 year old son and had to recheck the door to make sure he was going into the men's room, I love the look on guy's faces when that happens.

As I went back to my booth there was another couple I've know for years and the lady sat with us also till her food came. As we were leaving I stopped at a table where a very old couple (very late 80's) were who also know me both ways, the older lady looked at my legs, reached over and started to rub my thigh, I was wearing shorts.

I'm curtain people were whispering.

We finally got to the craft show where I met Miss New Jersey, if I wasn't married I think I could give her a run for the money, LOL.

Louise