Boycott
There are nationwide calls for a boycott of the Here Comes the Bride salon in Somers Point after the owner reportedly refused to sell a wedding dress to a woman marrying another woman in New York.Posted: Thursday, August 25, 2011 11:53 pm | Updated: 7:09 pm, Fri Aug 26, 2011.
SOMERS POINT — The phone at Here Comes the Bride was ringing nonstop, even well into the evening past closing time.
While owner Donna Saber waited on customers, her assistant and seamstress Marianne Decker answered the phone next to the counter, listened politely for several minutes and thanked the callers for their opinions.
Some callers offered support, but most were negative, a few even threatening to burn down the store or throw a brick through the window, Decker said.
The barrage of phone calls stems from Saber’s reported refusal earlier this month to sell a wedding gown to a Middlesex County woman who plans to marry her longtime female partner in New York, where same-sex marriage was recently legalized.
“I have never seen such nasty behavior in my life,” said Saber, who has owned the salon since 2008.
The story was first made public Aug. 18 in a Philadelphia Daily News column. It made a national-network newscast the next night. Exactly what happened to set off the furor remains unclear. Saber and the customer tell different versions of the incident.
Alix Genter, 27, of Highland Park, went to Here Comes the Bride on Aug. 13 to try on wedding dresses, both parties agree. Genter went to the store with her parents and some friends, and the bride-to-be tried on several dresses before she found one to her liking.
“I could tell she needed special handling,” Saber said.
Genter liked the gown but wanted it made of a lighter material for a summer wedding, and both parties agreed. Saber, 54, said she would call the manufacturer to see if that was possible, which Saber said she did Aug. 15, and got an answer to the question the next day. She then called Genter to convey the message, and this is where the accounts diverge.
Saber said as she was dialing the phone, she noticed on the paperwork that Genter had crossed out “groom” and written “partner”in its place. When Genter answered the phone, Saber mentioned she noticed the change.
“I don’t know where it went from that, but all of a sudden, she’s calling me a bigot,” Saber said.
Genter, who declined to be interviewed but responded with an e-mailed statement, wrote that Saber told her it was “wrong” and “a shame” to be gay, and that she would not work with her for the wedding.
“All through these interactions I remained calm — even though I had started crying — and informed her that she was a bigot and her refusal to work with me was discrimination,” Genter wrote. “To be confronted with such explicit prejudice and discrimination during what should be one of the happiest times in my life — planning my wedding — was shocking and hurtful.”
After the conversation ended, Saber called her back, leaving a message stating, “what you are describing on this paperwork is illegal, and we do not participate in illegal actions.”
Saber does not deny making that call — the recording is posted on the Internet — but she said she did not tell Genter that it is“wrong” to be gay.
“It just seems like provocation to me,” Saber said. “All I knew is (gay marriage) wasn’t legal in New Jersey.”
Going public
The morning after the conversation, Saber said she got a call from the Philadelphia columnist for comment. She asked the writer not to do the column, as it would just make her a target. The editor said the column would run, but Saber could tell her side.
The Aug. 18 edition of the Daily News had a photograph of Genter in a wedding gown on the front page. The heterosexual columnist told the story and gave her personal apology to gays for the way some straight people treat them.
“I didn’t expect her to write the article the way she wrote that,” Saber said. “It was awful.”
On Aug. 19, a Philadelphia TV news crew “walked into my door at 10:30 in the morning with cameras and microphones,” Saber said. “I told them we were trying to get in contact with Alix.”
The story made a national newscast that evening and eventually appeared on the Internet, with most bloggers and posters in Genter’s corner.
A Facebook page called “Boycott Here Comes the Bride” had about 720 supporters as of Thursday.
Carrie Denny, a writer and wedding magazine editor for Philadelphia Magazine, posted a blog saying she was thankful Here Comes the Bride wasn’t in the publication’s coverage area, and if it were, she would cut it off.
“If I heard of a salon turning an African-American bride away, I wouldn’t have trouble cutting them out” of the magazine, Denny. “A bigot is a bigot, whether it’s race or sexual orientation.”
New Jersey law states that merchants may not refuse to do business with someone because of race, creed, gender, nationality and sexual orientation, among other categories, the state’s Division on Civil Rights Web page shows.
Saber said the police told her that the salon is private property, and she has the right to refuse service to anyone.
Some are going beyond a boycott.
Jason Mitman, of Youngstown, Ohio, president of Citizens United Against Bigotry and Prejudice of New Castle, Pa., said his group is planning an informational picket Sept. 17 in front of Here Comes the Bride. People from several East Coast cities will participate, as well as two other local bridal shops.
“We’re all going to converge on Somers Point. It’s going to be big,” Mitman said. “The hopes and aspirations are to shut (Saber) down. I hate to say it, but that’s exactly what I want to see happen.”
Doing business
Meanwhile, Saber is trying to run her business, and the shop doesn’t appear to be lacking for customers. She said she has most likely done business with gays and lesbians, who came in and bought dresses or rented tuxedos and didn’t make announcements about their orientation.
Asked if she would accommodate a woman who came to the shop and said upfront that she was marrying a female partner, Saber said she wasn’t sure how she would react.
Somers Point police are not aware of any threats of violence against the shop, Capt. Michael Boyd said Tuesday.
“We have been out there three different times in the last week since that article broke,” Boyd said. “When there are problems at a local business, officers do extra checks on the place.”
Here Comes the Bride’s phones keep ringing and the emails keep coming — more than 600 that Saber hasn’t been able to check.
Some callers said they were planning to come to Here Comes the Bride, but will shop elsewhere after they heard this news, Saber said. The story is passing along a gay network that is “fermenting”the situation.
“It’s kind of appalling that people who disdain name-calling could disdain someone (with opinions) different from theirs,” Saber said.
But others from around the country call in their support and tell her to stand strong, said Saber, who would like to talk to Genter to resolve the situation.
“We are in the business of love,” Saber said. “In love, people have disagreements and arguments. If there’s love, you talk things out and get the other person’s point of view.”
Contact Elaine Rose:
609-272-7217
While owner Donna Saber waited on customers, her assistant and seamstress Marianne Decker answered the phone next to the counter, listened politely for several minutes and thanked the callers for their opinions.
Some callers offered support, but most were negative, a few even threatening to burn down the store or throw a brick through the window, Decker said.
The barrage of phone calls stems from Saber’s reported refusal earlier this month to sell a wedding gown to a Middlesex County woman who plans to marry her longtime female partner in New York, where same-sex marriage was recently legalized.
“I have never seen such nasty behavior in my life,” said Saber, who has owned the salon since 2008.
The story was first made public Aug. 18 in a Philadelphia Daily News column. It made a national-network newscast the next night. Exactly what happened to set off the furor remains unclear. Saber and the customer tell different versions of the incident.
Alix Genter, 27, of Highland Park, went to Here Comes the Bride on Aug. 13 to try on wedding dresses, both parties agree. Genter went to the store with her parents and some friends, and the bride-to-be tried on several dresses before she found one to her liking.
“I could tell she needed special handling,” Saber said.
Genter liked the gown but wanted it made of a lighter material for a summer wedding, and both parties agreed. Saber, 54, said she would call the manufacturer to see if that was possible, which Saber said she did Aug. 15, and got an answer to the question the next day. She then called Genter to convey the message, and this is where the accounts diverge.
Saber said as she was dialing the phone, she noticed on the paperwork that Genter had crossed out “groom” and written “partner”in its place. When Genter answered the phone, Saber mentioned she noticed the change.
“I don’t know where it went from that, but all of a sudden, she’s calling me a bigot,” Saber said.
Genter, who declined to be interviewed but responded with an e-mailed statement, wrote that Saber told her it was “wrong” and “a shame” to be gay, and that she would not work with her for the wedding.
“All through these interactions I remained calm — even though I had started crying — and informed her that she was a bigot and her refusal to work with me was discrimination,” Genter wrote. “To be confronted with such explicit prejudice and discrimination during what should be one of the happiest times in my life — planning my wedding — was shocking and hurtful.”
After the conversation ended, Saber called her back, leaving a message stating, “what you are describing on this paperwork is illegal, and we do not participate in illegal actions.”
Saber does not deny making that call — the recording is posted on the Internet — but she said she did not tell Genter that it is“wrong” to be gay.
“It just seems like provocation to me,” Saber said. “All I knew is (gay marriage) wasn’t legal in New Jersey.”
Going public
The morning after the conversation, Saber said she got a call from the Philadelphia columnist for comment. She asked the writer not to do the column, as it would just make her a target. The editor said the column would run, but Saber could tell her side.
The Aug. 18 edition of the Daily News had a photograph of Genter in a wedding gown on the front page. The heterosexual columnist told the story and gave her personal apology to gays for the way some straight people treat them.
“I didn’t expect her to write the article the way she wrote that,” Saber said. “It was awful.”
On Aug. 19, a Philadelphia TV news crew “walked into my door at 10:30 in the morning with cameras and microphones,” Saber said. “I told them we were trying to get in contact with Alix.”
The story made a national newscast that evening and eventually appeared on the Internet, with most bloggers and posters in Genter’s corner.
A Facebook page called “Boycott Here Comes the Bride” had about 720 supporters as of Thursday.
Carrie Denny, a writer and wedding magazine editor for Philadelphia Magazine, posted a blog saying she was thankful Here Comes the Bride wasn’t in the publication’s coverage area, and if it were, she would cut it off.
“If I heard of a salon turning an African-American bride away, I wouldn’t have trouble cutting them out” of the magazine, Denny. “A bigot is a bigot, whether it’s race or sexual orientation.”
New Jersey law states that merchants may not refuse to do business with someone because of race, creed, gender, nationality and sexual orientation, among other categories, the state’s Division on Civil Rights Web page shows.
Saber said the police told her that the salon is private property, and she has the right to refuse service to anyone.
Some are going beyond a boycott.
Jason Mitman, of Youngstown, Ohio, president of Citizens United Against Bigotry and Prejudice of New Castle, Pa., said his group is planning an informational picket Sept. 17 in front of Here Comes the Bride. People from several East Coast cities will participate, as well as two other local bridal shops.
“We’re all going to converge on Somers Point. It’s going to be big,” Mitman said. “The hopes and aspirations are to shut (Saber) down. I hate to say it, but that’s exactly what I want to see happen.”
Doing business
Meanwhile, Saber is trying to run her business, and the shop doesn’t appear to be lacking for customers. She said she has most likely done business with gays and lesbians, who came in and bought dresses or rented tuxedos and didn’t make announcements about their orientation.
Asked if she would accommodate a woman who came to the shop and said upfront that she was marrying a female partner, Saber said she wasn’t sure how she would react.
Somers Point police are not aware of any threats of violence against the shop, Capt. Michael Boyd said Tuesday.
“We have been out there three different times in the last week since that article broke,” Boyd said. “When there are problems at a local business, officers do extra checks on the place.”
Here Comes the Bride’s phones keep ringing and the emails keep coming — more than 600 that Saber hasn’t been able to check.
Some callers said they were planning to come to Here Comes the Bride, but will shop elsewhere after they heard this news, Saber said. The story is passing along a gay network that is “fermenting”the situation.
“It’s kind of appalling that people who disdain name-calling could disdain someone (with opinions) different from theirs,” Saber said.
But others from around the country call in their support and tell her to stand strong, said Saber, who would like to talk to Genter to resolve the situation.
“We are in the business of love,” Saber said. “In love, people have disagreements and arguments. If there’s love, you talk things out and get the other person’s point of view.”
Contact Elaine Rose:
609-272-7217
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