Some Deep Stuff, please read

Trust me, I'm as far from being a philosopher as a person can be, besides that, I can make a short story very long, so please try to follow, if you're interested.
I was going to post a very derogative message here about last week, one of the guys I ride bike with mentioned that he was forwarded my Blog page by a mutual acquaintance. He also mentioned they were having a good laugh over the phone about my "Life as Louise". I don't need to get into a verbal battle, I'd never win anyway, as far as most of the world is concerned I'm wrong because of what I do. But I have fun with it and have found many people who can think for themselves contrary to peer pressure and have come to love the courage I display to be myself.
As Lou, I've always wanted to be taller, stronger, better looking, have friends (that's my main desire) but for some reason was never able to have any of those attributes. I guess when a person or people have never faced so many NATURAL challenges they don't understand the additional struggle a person goes through and what they will do to just be accepted.
As I said, I was going to make this a hostile post, but for some reason, last week and also last night, the guys seemed to be a little nicer to me, for the first time in about 10-12 years since I shared Louise with them, they voluntarily started small conversations with me, I'm still not invited on one of the trips coming up, but just the fact they talked with me brought an emotional feeling to me. Now a second part.
This past Monday I went to the Ram's Head, I've always gone as Louise, quite a few people didn't recognize me and tended to be a little stand offish, even the one who always hugs me and wants a conversation with me. Then my friend Barbara, who I helped come out about 2 1/2 years ago was standing near the bar, I was staring at her feeling sure she'd look at me and laugh, instead she looked over with an expression of "what the hell are you looking at" on her face, I said what's your problem, her jaw dropped, she said "it's the voice" others have said that to me too. She had no idea it was Lou/Louise, she's seen Lou's pictures and known me for over 2 years and still didn't recognize Lou.
She called tonight and said, you know, I always thought you were over stating your comments about being abused, mistreated, disrespected as Lou, now I understand. She reminded me of a few weeks ago when we were having dinner at Good Fellows in Absecon and the owner stopped to talk with us, he asked where I had been and then said, Louise, when you walk in here, you own the place, you're a queen, everyone knows you or wants to. Then Barb said as Lou, your 4 feet tall, as Louise you're 10 feet tall, I really understand you now. How could I not break down.
All I want, as I've repetitively said in my Blog, all I want is to be accepted, I've done all I can, even changed my appearance, risked everything in life to be happy, why must people think it's a perversion, I'm not the one who sees myself as a sexual deviant, it's the way peoples minds and eyes see me that possibly they are the ones who become the deviants and maybe see me as an attractive person. It's funny, there are many fairy tails about dual persona's, one recent one that comes to mind is Shrek, another is one about a handsome prince who was turned into a frog until a princess kissed him, I just can't remember the others right now, but were they considered "sexual deviants, they're metaphors about real life, I just live them for real.
As I've said before "Life is a paradox"
I'm just Lou trying to find happiness through Louise.