I've been aware of monitoring of my Blog by my Cycling group (I intentionally
leave out calling them) friends, colleagues, buddies or any other noun, due to
their treatment of me and the only one person I can call Friend. He thinks they
ostracize him because we're friendly and he'll inform me of any private rides,
so they chose not to invite him, how FU*KING petty is that.
Over the years I have always struggled to ride bicycle, especially with this group for a couple reasons, one, they are extremely strong and focused, also most are younger than me (but that's an excuse I use, when I trained regularly I was just as good), the other important reason for it being a struggle for me is I'm definitely not respected for any of my endeavors to be "one of the guys", they cut me no breaks, but that's pretty much so with most of them, although some do get special treatment and it's deserving.
The whole concept of these people is really a paradox, most of them are (unfortunately) dealing with private issues they and I prefer not to mention in any venue. I on the other hand tend to be VERY open about anything in my life, possibly they fear my courage or just pass me off as a lunatic.
Well guess what, I don't consider myself courageous and I don't know if I ever met anyone who wasn't abnormal, we all have some CRAP or baggage we're dealing with, isn't that normal? I just chose to not care and I'll tell you why I don't care what anyone thinks.
When I was in business I was (metaphorically) screwed every day, did anyone come to my rescue, NO. I had the State and Federal EPA at my door for years and it cost me a small fortune, was anyone there, NO. I sold my business and my lawyer must have set me up and sent a subordinate who knew nothing about the deal and allowed the buyers to dictate the terms, was anyone there, NO. And I don't even want to get into my and my wife's heath issues is anyone there to help, even with advise, NO. So why the FU*K would I care what anyone thinks about what makes me happy.
One other BIG issue I have as long as I'm on this tirade, I don't mind being used as a "dart board" for people making comments that anyone else would consider "fighting words", I just accept it as part of my payment for associating with this group. BUT, when I made a joking comment to one person about his rude and unkind gesture towards a woman being overweight riding a bike as we passed her, he came back and physically accosted me. Oh sure, I could have done a few things, I could have tried to physically addressed it (and probably lost), I could or should have called the cops (right, any pussy could do that and where would that go), or I could have tried to mitigate it as I tried (even though I did nothing wrong) but my gestures were rejected, if this was Hollywood I would have been considered a HERO, but my life ain't no movie so I've learned to accept pain and my little hell I live in.
JUST don't reject the other guy because he's friends with me.
Over the years I have always struggled to ride bicycle, especially with this group for a couple reasons, one, they are extremely strong and focused, also most are younger than me (but that's an excuse I use, when I trained regularly I was just as good), the other important reason for it being a struggle for me is I'm definitely not respected for any of my endeavors to be "one of the guys", they cut me no breaks, but that's pretty much so with most of them, although some do get special treatment and it's deserving.
The whole concept of these people is really a paradox, most of them are (unfortunately) dealing with private issues they and I prefer not to mention in any venue. I on the other hand tend to be VERY open about anything in my life, possibly they fear my courage or just pass me off as a lunatic.
Well guess what, I don't consider myself courageous and I don't know if I ever met anyone who wasn't abnormal, we all have some CRAP or baggage we're dealing with, isn't that normal? I just chose to not care and I'll tell you why I don't care what anyone thinks.
When I was in business I was (metaphorically) screwed every day, did anyone come to my rescue, NO. I had the State and Federal EPA at my door for years and it cost me a small fortune, was anyone there, NO. I sold my business and my lawyer must have set me up and sent a subordinate who knew nothing about the deal and allowed the buyers to dictate the terms, was anyone there, NO. And I don't even want to get into my and my wife's heath issues is anyone there to help, even with advise, NO. So why the FU*K would I care what anyone thinks about what makes me happy.
One other BIG issue I have as long as I'm on this tirade, I don't mind being used as a "dart board" for people making comments that anyone else would consider "fighting words", I just accept it as part of my payment for associating with this group. BUT, when I made a joking comment to one person about his rude and unkind gesture towards a woman being overweight riding a bike as we passed her, he came back and physically accosted me. Oh sure, I could have done a few things, I could have tried to physically addressed it (and probably lost), I could or should have called the cops (right, any pussy could do that and where would that go), or I could have tried to mitigate it as I tried (even though I did nothing wrong) but my gestures were rejected, if this was Hollywood I would have been considered a HERO, but my life ain't no movie so I've learned to accept pain and my little hell I live in.
JUST don't reject the other guy because he's friends with me.
1 comment:
Louise,
It seems like you ran into a bit of bad attituded uber macho herd mentality with the riding crew. Sometimes one guy gets the ball rolling in a situation that he thinks he can use to make himself look like a big tough guy and then the lemmings seem to pile on.
My only advice it for you to just keep on being you and let their attitude slide off your back like water off a duck's ass. Laugh at them and never let the bastards see you sweat.
My father used to say that if a person has more than one true friend in his lifetime he is truly blessed. My father, who sady died back in 1976, was a good guy. He was tough on me as his oldest son but he was a good man liked by all but he only recognized one guy, a WWII army buddy from their time on Okinawa as his one true friend. My best friend is a guy I have known 50 years. While we see each other at best once a year I know he will always have my back and he knows I will have his. He dropped out of school but after working for a company for a while he started his own manufacturing company and is doing very well. So well that Fed, state and local EPA types have been making his life miserable for years.
You are a good and capable person. You have always relied on yourself and have done well doing so. Keep relying on yourself and afford yourself the respect that you have earned. Do not let others set that bar
Pat
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