The Cop on Saturday Night

Over the years I've been pulled over about 20-22 times when dressed as Louise, most of my experiences have been fortunately good, even though they mostly for speeding, one was no seat belt in NYC (I got a summons) and one for not stopping (a summons I argued in court and had it reduced for no points or insurance increase) the rest I was given a verbal warning, I guess "Louise" has been very lucky.

Saturday night my wife and I were going to our favorite Karaoke lounge in Brigantine. There is a high bridge and a long causeway with usually a strong tail wind so it's not difficult to not realize your speed and they mark it down to 45 MPH just at the bottom of the bridge from 55MPH.

Since my car is newer and all these conditions were in effect I wasn't paying attention to my speed, until I saw the unmarked black no lights on cop car in the center median and that's when the trouble started.

It was so dark I couldn't even see him u-turn to follow me, I got up to the corner where I turn and his lights came on so I just pulled over, my wife of course was gently verbal and called me every term in the book relating the the physical anatomy and self satisfying manipulations you can call a person, some I never heard of before (I'll have to try them).

 Well to make a long story longer. The Cop of coarse introduced himself and described my offense of being "clocked at 68 MPH in a 45 MPH zone" and ordered me to present my credentials, I keep my drivers license in my trunk since my car had been broken into last year, so he told me to get it, I was in a tight leopard  print mini dress which didn't leave anything to the imagination, I was missing my Registration which I paid for but was never sent to me by the dealership (just my luck). He said if you find it wave it out the door and went back to his car.

We looked for a few minuets and I found a temporary Registration which I waved out the door, he came and got it and then spent another 10 minuets writing out the summons, I figured I was TOTALLY screwed for being 23 MPH over, I'll post the punishment for over 30 MPH in NJ.

When he came back he said I issued you 2 summonses, one for no registration but if you find it you may be able to have it dismissed, the other for visual obstruction, I have a handicap Tag for my wife hanging on the mirror. All I could say was Thank you so much for being kind to me, I know I was totally at your mercy, you were kind.

New Jersey Speeding & Motor Vehicle Points

A speeding ticket of 1 to 14 miles over the limit is a 2 point offense. A speeding ticket of 15 to 29 is a 4-point offense. Finally, a speeding ticket of 30 or more over the limit is a 5-point offense.

Violations of speeding tickets will result to the awarding of the following fines under the following factors:
Outside the safe corridor or construction zone:

• Exceeding speed limit by 1-9 miles per hour, $85
• Exceeding speed limit by 10-14 miles per hour, $95
• Exceeding speed limit by 15-19 miles per hour, $105
• Exceeding speed limit by 20-24 miles per hour, $200
• Exceeding speed limit by 25-29 miles per hour, $220
• Exceeding speed limit by 30-34 miles per hour, $240
• Exceeding speed limit by 35-39 miles per hour, $260

Within the safe corridor or construction zone:

• Exceeding speed limit by 1-9 miles per hour, $140
• Exceeding speed limit by 10-14 miles per hour, $160
• Exceeding speed limit by 15-19 miles per hour, $180

Additional points will also be awarded to speeding violators. The points are as follow:

• Exceeding speed limit by 1-14 miles per hour, two points
• Exceeding speed limit by 15-29 miles per hour, four points
• Exceeding speed limit by 30 miles per hour or more, five points

WHEW

House & Garden Show

Last Saturday I went to the House & Garden Show at the Atlantic City Convention Center, I really wanted to try out my new outfit in public, something like an Equestrian look.








It seems a shame that the show had really degraded to being non eventful. There were no garden setups at all that I remember and the Home improvement part used to have some interesting demonstrations and new products for DIYers. I think I took the whole show in about an hour.








Before I left I wanted to hit the restroom, I walked by the lady's room where there was a woman with Muslim type headwear who looked at me as I walked by expressing that I was at the right restroom, I said "no, I need the men's room" and just walked past and into the men's room. As I entered there was a row of about 8-10 stall doors in front of me and a guy coming out of one, he immediately informed me of being in the wrong restroom (it happens all the time), I said in my Lou voice (which is the same as Louise) "I know". I entered a stall and he went to wash his hands and say "I really thought you were a woman", I replied "I take that as a compliment".








Later that night ,my wife and I went out for Karaoke. I went to the microphone to sing my second song (What a Wonderful World) and 4 or 5 couples got up to dance, as I was about halfway through, a person from the rear of the bar comes walking onto the dance floor, navigating between the couples and stands in front of me staring, I didn't look at him because I was concentrating on the words, but knew what was happing. After I was done the Karaoke host (Mike) said, you really had that guy confused. When I sat down everyone including my wife were laughing about the incident.






I don't try to full myself by thinking I'm anywhere near passing, I just like to say I make a nice presentation.

Everyone Needs a Louise Business Card in their Wallet

This morning, at 7:30 AM, I received a phone call from someone looking for a person named "Shelia".  I asked what it was in reference too and he said he had found a purse with Credit Cards and ID and the only phone number was on a business card with a pretty woman in a red dress on the front and the phone number on the back.


I said, OH, I think I may know the person who owns that purse, let me call her and I'll have them call you. As it turned out it was a local Transsexual, who I know from the local Mixers we attend and I had just given her an updated version of my card which she obviously put in her purse.


The moral of the story, keep a business card of "Louise" and she'll definitely get a call even if you don't get your purse back, if you get the inference.