Life of Louise

One Reason for Cross-dressing

(mine at least)

 Not to be repetitive but to re-inform those who do not know my Cross-dressing background, I have cross-dressed (tried on women's clothes since about age 6-7). I have been out in public, on and off for the past 27 years since my wife had me made-up as a Halloween trick and when I finally discovered "I just never liked myself" or felt that I was never comfortable being me as me (Not that I ever nor now want to be a Female) I just didn't want to be me.

During the first few years of deciding to share "Louise" I also wanted to find where I fit in this, unique, aberrant, miss-understood lifestyle. In trying to discover that my wife and I (she's my HERO) found several cross-dresser venues to attend, they're weren't many, a couple in NYC, one in Staten Island, some after-hour Lounges in Philly a Gay Club in Atlantic City and New Hope, I'm sure there were others but many of the attendees were the same people.

As I/we became a little more comfortable with each-other (meaning we were able to talk to other CDs) I (at least) discovered many seemed to have some unusual traits, many seemed to be either Bi-sexual, Gay or (so they claimed) "Trapped in the wrong body".

I can really not understand those situations, that doesn't mean they may not exist, but I've never been attracted to a Male, I never felt born in the wrong body, but I will say out of about 300+/- CD's I've met, some looked very good, but almost 100% were way over the edge of reality and that was enough to scare the "poop" out of me, the last thing I need is a screwball in a dress as a friend or anything else.

 So getting back to my initial reasons why I myself Cross-dress is I always felt unwanted, starting with my mother who I think gave me through her constant verbal and physical abuse a very low self esteem and causing me to never like myself, in other words a form of "PTSD" 

(Post traumatic stress disorder)

PTSD has been called by other names usually associated with Military conditions i.e. combat fatigue, shell shock amongst many others.

I doubt if it matters whether being beat by a parent or school principle or feeling mistreated by peers or anyone else makes a difference, if you're trying to live the best you can it doesn't matter how abuse manifests itself "abuse is abuse" and you deal with it as best you can. 

I finally found happiness by becoming "Louise".

 

Two Examples of what I went though, not exactly the same spcificts but close enough.