The LNO in Toms River is a nice venue that is distanced, almost equaly, between Atlantic City and NYC for CD's to experience an evening with other CD's in a straight environment, especially for CD's looking to transition between their "closet" or gay club only venues into how they will be accepted by straight people.This can be a daunting situation without support, I don't think I would have come out of my closet if my wife hadn't given me the support she had.
I don't go to LNO often due to distance and also because I find my interaction in the "traditional" community is more fun for me, besides, I'm not trying to pass myself off (any longer) as a mentor for other CD's, although if someone asks for my help or experiences I will try to keep them from damaging their reputation so they can keep their doors open to go public if they ever want to, hey, we all have our needs and attractions but we have to be adult about it too.
This Saturday I went with a (platonic) friend that my wife and I helped a couple years ago. Because we could share the ride and he/she doesn't get much opportunity to meet other CD's that may be interested in what he's looking for and I have no reservations about that, I've even tried to help him/her with that. First we went to a restaurant we've gone to before. We ordered our meals and the owner stopped by our table to ask me why he hadn't seen me as much as usual. He then said "when you walk in, you own the place" saying that he and everyone else looks forward to seeing me and talking with me. This is a very family orientated establishment, I was very proud of his comments especially in front of my friend, it just proved my philosophy that if you act no differently in your "Alter Ego" as you would in your normal day to day life (most) people shouldn't have an issue with you.
My friend called me the next night and commented about the experience and used the term "your a Rock Star", every where I go with you people come over for you to recognize them, they are proud you know them or they know you. My life was never one anyone would want to have as Lou, but when I'm Louise, it almost seems everyone wants a little bit of me, some want it for reasons that have hurt me too, because when I say, do or offer myself it's done from my heart with no renovations, but the people I have offered the most to have given me the least in return as far as friendship. Possibly they're afraid I want to take some of their spotlight, I only what to offer more of myself to them.
Louise
My wife and I help other CD's with makeup, photography and escorting them out if needed. Contact me at CuteLouise1@aol.com To start at the beginning of my postings, please scroll down a little till you see the dates on the right side and click at the first (top) date. Thank you
Monday, February 28, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
When you have nothing else to lose
I have put a label on our concerns about "being made" and how the general public will treat or accept us, I call it "THE WHEEL CHAIR EFFECT". Meaning many CD's are not fortunate enough to be passable, so when out people will have a tendency to, elbow, whisper, raise their eyebrows towards you or any thing else to give notice to a companion of what you are. I've discovered that depending on how one presents themselves in any venue will help people to accept and appreciate your openness and honesty.
As a few other CD girls here I am very comfortable in public and am out 2-3 times a week, sometimes with my wife. As a matter of fact my wife and I or myself alone have helped many "girls" go out for their first adventure in public. Not only do I shop, but also share my "Louise" persona with everyone who knows me as Lou.
Saturday night my wife (Millie) and I went to Brigantine to a "Red Neck" joint, it's all locals and most are in the construction field so, they're "manly men". As I came in, there were 2 big guys at the bar with their wives' I assume, the one asked if I had seen the YouTube video of the Brigantine Polar Bear Plunge 2011, I didn't realize it was posted, but I looked it up and there I was with Millie, around the middle of the video. The other fellow reminded me he had removed my gasoline tanks from my service station property a few years ago. The impressive part is here are two big guys well known in this "Red Neck" bar who had the courage to talk with me and treat me with respect.
We went over to a table where a few friends were and behind them were two ladies who obviously notice what I was. As the night progressed the one lady keep smiling towards me, it was my obligation to introduce myself, remember "wheel chair effect". I went over and said hello, I'm Louise. We talked a while and she became so comfortable with me she told me about some very personal family issues, nothing sexual, but about her relationship and unhappiness with her husband and children and all she had done for them and lack of respect she had received in return. The only answer I could give her was.
"When you realize you have nothing left to lose, you will finally do what you want to do to make yourself happy".
CuteLouise
As a few other CD girls here I am very comfortable in public and am out 2-3 times a week, sometimes with my wife. As a matter of fact my wife and I or myself alone have helped many "girls" go out for their first adventure in public. Not only do I shop, but also share my "Louise" persona with everyone who knows me as Lou.
Saturday night my wife (Millie) and I went to Brigantine to a "Red Neck" joint, it's all locals and most are in the construction field so, they're "manly men". As I came in, there were 2 big guys at the bar with their wives' I assume, the one asked if I had seen the YouTube video of the Brigantine Polar Bear Plunge 2011, I didn't realize it was posted, but I looked it up and there I was with Millie, around the middle of the video. The other fellow reminded me he had removed my gasoline tanks from my service station property a few years ago. The impressive part is here are two big guys well known in this "Red Neck" bar who had the courage to talk with me and treat me with respect.
We went over to a table where a few friends were and behind them were two ladies who obviously notice what I was. As the night progressed the one lady keep smiling towards me, it was my obligation to introduce myself, remember "wheel chair effect". I went over and said hello, I'm Louise. We talked a while and she became so comfortable with me she told me about some very personal family issues, nothing sexual, but about her relationship and unhappiness with her husband and children and all she had done for them and lack of respect she had received in return. The only answer I could give her was.
"When you realize you have nothing left to lose, you will finally do what you want to do to make yourself happy".
CuteLouise
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Sometimes I worry to much
Today I went to a Camber of Commerce meeting. Due to the type and direction of this group I've tried to keep my "Louise" persona at home, I just don't feel it's appropriate and besides I don't claim to be "Trans Gendered" I'm only a very open and accepted "Cross Dresser" although some may argue that.
I sat with 2 gentlemen who worked for Comcast and were also into athletics (I used to be a competitive cyclist) so it was an impetus for conversation. As the meeting was getting close to beginning 3 women came to our table and we all introduced ourselves. This group is all about networking businesses and I was asked mine, so I just mentioned I represented my wife's jewelry store.
One of the ladies ask, why do I know you, you look very familiar, the other younger one chimed in and said the same thing. I attempted to just brush it off saying I've been around the area all my life and had owned 4 businesses locally, I just wanted to keep Louise out of the conversation. Then the lady sitting next to me noticed my nails, she said "Oh, now I know who you are", I said, you must know my "alter ego" she nodded and had a huge smirk on her face as if she swallowed a bird. The lady who hadn't said anything now say's, you have to tell us who you are, it's killing us to know.
I said OK, I'm not and entertainer, but I am entertaining, all the time the lady who recognized me is dying to tell them, since the "jig was up" (so to speak), I handed them my business card with my Louise picture on it. To my surprise they had absolutely no issues and one of the Comcast guys said I'll see if I can do something for you on your cable bill. The pretty girl asked me to come to the next meeting dressed, hum, I don't know about that.
Then another interesting conversation with a man and woman. I'm told I'm built pretty good, so the man who was about mid 40's asked me how much I work out, he said he had a personal trainer and would love to be built like me some day, that was very complimentary, I haven't lifted weights since I was 16 but I still ride bike with a race group. The lady who manages 2 local bank branches said her husband is a body builder and also a hair dresser, I asked if his shop was in a nearby location, she said yes, I wonder if she knows he CD's too and has hit on me on the Internet.
As I was leaving the restaurant, there was an older gentleman waiting by the entrance and asked me as we walked out together, what's your profession where everyone was talking to you, at this pint I became a little braver and said I was entertaining and handed him my card, he said, I'm from New Hope, come up sometime. We also have a mutual friend who plays piano.
The lunch was good.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
One of the reasons I don't care
I was out last Wednesday evening in Margate. I had been in business that town for quite a while. As I was leaving a popular night spot (as Louise) a person I've seen and had general conversations with started to talk with me, a moment later his friend came over and the person I was talking with introduced me to him. the new guy said, I know who you are, I just shrugged it off because I'm very comfortable that people know me both ways, although I really have difficulty recognizing a lot of people, I hope I don't come off as being rude, it's just something I can't help.
Nevertheless, he mentioned 3 times he knew who I was and then said "yeah, my buddy has his pickup at your place being worked on". Gee, I thought my memory was bad, I think I sold my property about 8 years ago and when they tore it down they built 4 houses on it, I better go back in the morning to make sure I didn't forget that I may still be working.
No wonder I don't care what people think, I've been blamed for more than I could have ever done in my life time, that's one of the reasons I go out in disguise (maybe). I also wonder who the poor guy is that is being mistaken for me. One of my friends who had another shop was always being told he was me too, he finally asked to have a picture with him so he could prove he wasn't me.
Tuesday, February 08, 2011
The Union League of Philadelphia
I could have swore I had posted about this experience a few years ago about a dinner I was invited to at The Union League of Philadelphia. It was for exclusive clients of a very large and popular investment firm so everyone there were of upper class and then there was me, Louise.
If you're not familiar with the Union League of Philadelphia it's one of the most exclusive and oldest men's clubs in America. You can look up the requirements to become a member and other details online.
As I walked into this very ornate and unique building I was a little concerned as to how I would be accepted, there was nothing i had in common with anyone else there. I was introduced to the investment firm managers by my account executive, I'm sure they were all a little speechless but also very reserve.
I was directed to the dining room and only saw one other couple there, so I went over and introduced myself. The gentleman, very stately and obviously someone who would belong to
this type organization, it is a "white Anglo saxon blue blood" group, so I was concerned he would be a little direct or stand offish towards me, but to my surprise as the evening progressed he became very friendly.
This was my experiance.
The room filled very quickly, each table seated 10 people, he sat next to his wife a good 2 feet away from me, but we still talked. I decided to go to the bar for a glass of wine, he, I asked his profession, was a lawyer, offered the escort me to the bar, I was really surprised. He asked what I was drinking and I asked for a Merlow, to my surprised he ordered the same for himself, his wife still had her drink. That surprised me, because being around people of upper status, they usually like a Scotch or Bourbon, don't ask me why, I can't drink that stuff.
We came back to the table and he moved his seat half way between myself and his wife. We talked about investments, he gave me a great stock which I bought and has done great for me even during the drastic down turn. We were served dinner and I was ready for another class of wine, I excused myself and he offered to escort me again, he ordered for both of us, not his wife, who I had only greeted when I first walked in but never talked with after that. When we got back to our table he moved next to me, leaving his wife about 2 feet from him, it had nothing to do with being attracted to me, I think he was just being polite and it was easier to talk.
We only talked a little while longer till the meeting started and afterwords were server desert and coffee. The other people wanted to join into our conversation and for what ever reason it felt to me that I was leading the whole conversation at the table, no one was rude or patronizing, it was as if I was just the center of attention (which I do love) but I wasn't looking or expecting that in that type environment, these were all professional people or large business owners. As I said, when I first walked in I was quite unsure as to how this level of group would accept me, they did a good job. I wish I could meet the person I sat with again, he made me feel like I belonged. I really admire people who can look beyond the outside shell and see inside, my hat is off to him and the others I was with that night.
If you're not familiar with the Union League of Philadelphia it's one of the most exclusive and oldest men's clubs in America. You can look up the requirements to become a member and other details online.
As I walked into this very ornate and unique building I was a little concerned as to how I would be accepted, there was nothing i had in common with anyone else there. I was introduced to the investment firm managers by my account executive, I'm sure they were all a little speechless but also very reserve.
I was directed to the dining room and only saw one other couple there, so I went over and introduced myself. The gentleman, very stately and obviously someone who would belong to
this type organization, it is a "white Anglo saxon blue blood" group, so I was concerned he would be a little direct or stand offish towards me, but to my surprise as the evening progressed he became very friendly.
This was my experiance.
The room filled very quickly, each table seated 10 people, he sat next to his wife a good 2 feet away from me, but we still talked. I decided to go to the bar for a glass of wine, he, I asked his profession, was a lawyer, offered the escort me to the bar, I was really surprised. He asked what I was drinking and I asked for a Merlow, to my surprised he ordered the same for himself, his wife still had her drink. That surprised me, because being around people of upper status, they usually like a Scotch or Bourbon, don't ask me why, I can't drink that stuff.
We came back to the table and he moved his seat half way between myself and his wife. We talked about investments, he gave me a great stock which I bought and has done great for me even during the drastic down turn. We were served dinner and I was ready for another class of wine, I excused myself and he offered to escort me again, he ordered for both of us, not his wife, who I had only greeted when I first walked in but never talked with after that. When we got back to our table he moved next to me, leaving his wife about 2 feet from him, it had nothing to do with being attracted to me, I think he was just being polite and it was easier to talk.
We only talked a little while longer till the meeting started and afterwords were server desert and coffee. The other people wanted to join into our conversation and for what ever reason it felt to me that I was leading the whole conversation at the table, no one was rude or patronizing, it was as if I was just the center of attention (which I do love) but I wasn't looking or expecting that in that type environment, these were all professional people or large business owners. As I said, when I first walked in I was quite unsure as to how this level of group would accept me, they did a good job. I wish I could meet the person I sat with again, he made me feel like I belonged. I really admire people who can look beyond the outside shell and see inside, my hat is off to him and the others I was with that night.
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