The Coin Show

 

 

Saturday 4/30/16 I went to the Coin Show that was at a local Church activity's hall next door to the church.

I really have little knowledge of Numismatics although as a kid I did collect penny's and dimes (all I could afford) and used to collect stamps that I would order for 1 or 2 dollars from advertisements in different magazines I used to read. They would send maybe 100-200 used stamps that had been postmarked and were torn off an envelope, hey what did I know, I was around 10 years old and we didn't have TV so it gave me something to do.

Since I dress up on Saturdays I figured it would be a fun thing to do and maybe I would get a little education, well I got more than I expected.

As I walked in I was greeted by an older couple, it turned out these two people were within 1 and 2 years of my age. The lady handed me a card and asked me to fill it out with my name address and phone number (as I always mention, I don't pretend I pass, so I try to ease the introduction with something humors) I looked at her and asked, you're not going to use this to ask me for a date are you, with that the older gentleman said, well you're pretty enough. I was happy they took my joking comment in stride and I replied, I don't look to bad for being "--" (my age). They both gasped for air and said you're not even close to that and said that's our age, I proved it to them and they were astounded, they questioned how I stayed looking so young and I could only say, I'm happy now.

As I walked into the main hall I glanced around, possibly it was busier earlier but I saw about 40-50 vendor tables and about the same in people who were either seated or standing discussing potential purchases or sales (they were doing both at the show).

I started to check out coins on one side of the isle and then walked to the other side and was just pretending to be interested when the person from his table said to me "you look much better in person than your pictures on the internet.

I'll post his email he sent this morning because it details everything without me saying anything.

Good Morning Louise,

It was so nice to meet and talk with you at the Linwood Coin Show on Saturday afternoon!  I have to tell you that you are so much prettier in person than your pictures on the internet.  When you came to my table, I knew instantly who you were, but I was amazed at how perfect your hair and makeup were.  I kept trying to find some flaw in your appearance or something that would give away that you were not a GG, but there wasn't anything, that gave it away (to me anyhow).  What amazed me most, was your poise and confidence being dressed and out in a public place.  You had command of the entire room.  I wanted to ask you so many questions, but  the time and place just didn't seem right,, and I am never great thinking on my feet. 

I have been dressing myself for about 4 years now.  As I told you , I am married, my wife is 10 years older then me, and she has health issues, so she would never understand or allow me to dress.  Judging by comments that she makes when a Cross dresser is on television, I know that she would flip and throw me out of the house, if she found out about my "hobby". 

I was hoping that you would be open to me occasionally emailing you to ask you questions and tips about dressing-up.  I could not help but notice how good you looked in that little black dress yesterday.  How do you get those feminine curves???  They looked slightly exaggerated but absolutely  perfect!  Your ass was sticking out, and I am sure that you were getting lots of attention in that room yesterday.

Again, it was a pleasure to meet you yesterday.  Thank you for stopping by and chatting.

Sincerely,

bob  aka "cindy"

The Bank

I went to my bank to cash a check, as I walked up to the tellers they were all taking to one client (it wasn't busy). The guy looks at me and exclaims OMG you're beautiful (he looked around mid 80's) I figured he knew what I was and was being polite, all the tellers know me both ways and they know my wife. This person says I know you from the Sub Shop, I don't know, I must meet 20 people a day when I'm out dressed who want to talk with me. He asks if I wouldn't mind joining him for coffee at the Dunkin Donuts, I figured I haven't eaten all day (it was about 2 PM) so I said sure.

 

The tellers were laughing and one said "you really are beautiful", I said tell my wife what happened, she won't believe me.

 

I leave the Bank, he's waiting in his car and wants me to go with him, and I said NO, I'll take my car in case

I want to leave. I follow him to a different coffee shop, I think he was excited and he turned the wrong direction. As I park, he opens my door and helps me out and puts my arm in his and we walk in. I turn to sit and he's fumbling with his zipper, I said WTF, he said he just noticed it was down (Hum I wonder). So he gets 2 coffees and we start talking. He goes right into some sexual discussion asking if I'm still active, I'm ready to leave, but again I think this guy knows me and I'm now in a situation where I don't want to embarrass him or visa versa, so I tell him I'm married to a woman and I don't cheat. He looks at me and says "You're married to a woman" and then says he believes God wanted people to procreate and doesn't accept the gay lifestyle. I said I'm NOT gay, I'm a male, he looks at me and say's "you’re not a male" I said yes I am, I'm a married man and straight and I like to dress up. He says "you fooled the hell out of me". I don't think he really cared at that point, but I said I have a few things I have to do and politely thanked him for the coffee and left.

 

Louise

Costco

My Visit To Costco

I had a Costco membership for a few years, I consider it one of the better values, BJ's, in my opinion sucks and Sam's Club is pretty good, but the Costco in Manahawkin has great steaks and also the Tuna Fish and Anchovies I like.. I let me membership expire due to not really having any other reason to travel up there.

Last month I went Manahawkin for a party (after Thanks Giving leftovers) and had some time to kill, I thought I would get a "walk through pass" to Costco to see if there was anything new and a reason to renew my membership.

As I walked in by the check out station, there was an older man who has been there a couple years, he would always check out my items, but because I normally went early I was never dressed en-fem so he didn't recognize me this time as I walked by him as "Louise". He greeted me with a VERY polite welcome and smile.

I went over to the service counter and asked for a day pass and then walked back to the entrance and started to enter. There is a lady who checks the Club Card as you enter, we've had a couple conversations and I had shared my pictures with her, but she didn't recognize me until I asked if she knew who I was. It took her a couple seconds and she said OMG, you look great, I didn't even know you weren't a woman. I always love the shock value.

As I walked in I had to walk by the Optical Dept, one of the salesmen saw me coming and walked from the other side of the counter to start a conversation, he was already talking with another person but had to come over and talk with me, don't ask me why. He never said anything about my Female persona and we just had a very generic conversation.

I was interested in the Steaks and wanted to take a picture of the type I like so I could send them to a friend who has a Costco membership and would buy me Steaks when he's there and bring them down on a Saturday. Hey, I'm "parsimonious" what can I say.

So as I'm by the meat counter, I see the guy from the checkout exit and he's got a dustpan and broom sweeping imaginary dirt and staring at me (it was VERY obvious). As I would enter an isle he would be down the other end sweeping and staring. I intentionally walked by him after 4-5 isles and asked "do you have a twin at the exit" obviously I caught him off guard and he could only laugh, it was funny.

Anyway, I can make a short story long, but what the hell.

The Jehovah Witness

The Jehovah Witness

I'm sure at one time or another most of us have had a surprise visit from the "JW" as they title themselves now.

 

A couple weeks ago one early afternoon my wife and I were getting ready to go to a luncheon, I was going as Louise. My wife was coming down the stairs and called out to me that there were two JW's walking up towards our front door.

 

Since I have no reservations about Louise I felt this would be an opportune time to introduce these gentlemen to the cross-dressing lifestyle, if nothing else they might set up a prayer ceremony in front of our house or "damn" us from Heaven, in either case I'm sure the neighbors would be entertained.

I was in the kitchen as the bell rang and told Millie I'd get it. I opened the door and there was a good size fit looking late 50's Black man and a mid 40's white man at the door. They introduced themselves and I replied and shook their hands, as I took hold of the Black mans hand, which happened to be a good size, I could barely span my fingers across it I made sure I gave him a good firm grip and almost made him lose his balance because I usually pull a person towards me as I shake, needless to say he let out a grunt, the white guy was nothing, I almost squashed his hand.

Yes, I know, it's not lady like, but I intentionally do that to (metaphorically) demonstrate that just because I'm a cross-dresser doesn't mean I'm a "pussy". I also find that I can possess a more commanding stance en-fem, either people are afraid I'm "nuts" or I become more decisive (probably a combination of both).  

In any event I listened to them for couple minuets and the Caucasian guy invited me to their service (to convert me I'm sure) but told them we were late for a meeting and would consider it at another time. 

The Guest

Occasionally other CD's find me on the internet and ask if I would help them with makeup and going out. Of course many also may have ulterior motives and I have to honestly say I call my self open minded but I have to consider my age and some of the "Unique" people you might meet, trust me when I say It's Not a "Kodak Moment" in fact I have begged off by saying we're to busy or not interested. We haven't helped anyone in a good 5-6 years.

So after messaging back and forth for about a month and a few phone conversations I agreed to meet someone and see if we could help him. He was age appropriate (45) divorced, 2 kids and had a job and communicated well.

 

We were supposed to meet earlier in the day, but due to his work schedule we met around 5:30 PM. He seemed OK until he got out of his car and I noticed he was having some difficulty walking, I just arbitrated to his boots.

I brought him to my home and had him go upstairs, my wife came home moments later and I told her earlier we were having company but she's usually exhausted after work and just went to sleep.

I went to the room where the new CD was and noticed he had patterned hose on and because it was late we go out for Karaoke I told him we could take him with us, but he would need to dress for the venue. I had to give him a pair of jeans, lent him one of my wigs and also did hie makeup, he looked pretty fair. But the big problem was, he has a form of Muscular dystrophy, this was a difficult situation.

For him to walk (he had leg braces) he had to swing his hips and throw his legs forward, his hands were also in a semi clenched position. 

I was pretty surprised he accepted going "out" for his VERY first time, but he seemed to trust us. When we got the the restaurant it was fairly busy, everyone knows us and most are very friendly, some people we avoid. The people who greeted me also were polite to our guest.

One of our married friends who after 7 years or so, just finally abut a year ago became comfortable with me, he came over and sat next to our guest to help him feel comfortable and started a conversation, VERY admirable. 

Our guest had an 1 1/2 drive back home so he left early. It was pretty much a mile marker for both people, the CD being out for the first time, our meeting someone with a major disability who CD's (it's VERY difficult for him) and our friend who was scare of me for years and now is VERY comfortable.

I have to post the messages my friend had with me this morning, impressive.

20 Years ago on this Halloween "Louise" was born

Last night me wife and I went to the Brigantine Elks Lodge for the annual Halloween party. I don't really do "costume or Drag" and besides the group we went with (about 7 other couples) was supposed to be 1930's Gangster Babes.

 

The ironic circumstances are that my wife invited the ladies in our group to explore "Louise's Closet" for their gowns as none of them apparently own "UP-Scale" dressy gowns. I kept the one I wore separate; it was a long blue sequined gown with a long slit up one leg.

 

IMHO, I really didn't see a lot of creativity at this party, there were a couple interesting costumes though, one person was a "Wookiee" and was with "Princes Leia" I thought they were the best, his costume looked just like in the movie and she looked exactly like the Princes. There was another person who looked and sang exactly like Rod Stewart, these people deserved 1st Places.

 

At 11 PM we had to do a "walk" so the judges (None ever met or saw me before) could decide who to award prizes to. When we finished the walk I was in the middle of the crowd and due to being so small I tried to get near the front, just to be seen, I had no expectations because "Louise" is pretty much who I am.

 

To my total surprise I was called the first place winner for the category, I pretty much went numb, I was really taken by surprise because I just did my normal "Louise" thing except I wore a more stylish wig and the sequined gown. I guess "Louise" really does draw attention.

 

I have to add that during the evening about 10-12 women who do know me from other venues (after all I'm out 2-3 times a week for 20 years) were exceptionally attentive, one who has (I call) an Alcohol allergy who used to be VERY attractive and owns 2 restaurants on her own, was all over me, we had met about 15 years ago. There was another who is a nurse who works for a local doctor who said they were just talking about me the other day because they had a "Trans-Gendered" person in the office and the Doctor mentioned he knew another one "Louise", I go to his sisters restaurant where we've met a few times and my wife has also been his patient.

Anyway, I was glad to get home and rest my feet. Tonight I go out again in Costume, It's a total contrast, I'll have a couple pictures. 

Trp to NYC

Last Friday I went to NYC as Louise to the Javits Center for the annual Photo Expo. I enjoy the interaction and expressions from some people, usually people VERY polite but seem to be becoming more accepting or they just aren't sure or maybe don't care any longer that there's a Cross-dresser near them, although I have to say, I usually look better and dress classier than most of the women I see and I am critical about the way women look. 

When we were nearing NYC, there was a young lady sitting next to me who started to make herself up, she had a pretty full assortment of items in a makeup bag. At the same time there was another woman in the seat next to ours  (about 45-50) who obviously had some social issues and was listening to an IPod with ear phones and was hopping up and down and mouthing the music, she definitely had juvenile manners. As she was expressing her enthusiasm I rolled my eyes which the lady next to me saw in the refection of the plastic cover behind the divers seat (I like to sit where I can see forward). I guess she released I was somewhat stable and avoided any comment about the (nut) and said "your makeup is beautiful", we only had a few minutes conversation but it was very friendly.

I chose to use the restroom on the bus this time, usually I enjoy the reactions when I walk into the men's room at Port Authority but the be honest the mirror was much better on the bus and the room was clean, it was just difficult walking from the front to the back and the front again while the bus was moving. Also, I found that I could take the elevator down to where I wanted to be without walking all over the bus station to the rest room and my feet were starting to hurt because my Doctor suggested I stop my "water pill" and my feet started to swell (just my luck).

Once I got onto the street I headed to the Javits Center, it's not a bad walk but in heels and swollen feet it's like "Chinese Torture" and I'm not really a Masochist. Once I got to the front of the Center I sat down to let my feet rest, a gentleman saw me and started a conversation and sat down RIGHT next to me. He was polite and possibly he didn't realize what I was, but he kept the conversation going as if I was a "Normal" person, it was just casual, where I was from and if I was a photographer.

Once I got into the Javits Center I glanced around to get an idea of which way to go, I went to the last row and just walked up and down. I was sort of disappointed, no one made any comments, although their focus was on the equipment, a few venders made eye contact and smiled but they saw I wasn't interested in their item so politely waved as I walked by, one man called me over and said, I see you almost every year, you always look so nice, I just wanted to shake your hand and compliment you. He said he was in some city in Ohio and when he came out of the Hotel he saw a large billboard which said "Marriage should be between a man and a woman", he said he was taking a picture of it and a man came up to him and said I'm glad you agree with our view, he said "that's not why I'm taking the picture" it's because I want to show people how retarded some people still are, I did have to inform him I am married to a woman.

 

I spent about 3 hours at the show and had made previous arrangements to go to dinner with another CD, Allison. I took a cab over the CDI apartment (a new location), which is a very nice place. Allison has just retired and has been on HRT for about 5 years (I think she said). She has just come out in public, although her wife knows she is NOT accepting. Allison looks VERY good, 100% convincing and a nice highly educated respectful person. I'm grateful for her thoughtfulness in meeting and going to dinner with me.

After dinner Allison left and I walked back to the bus station, by now my feet felt elephant size. I had to wait about an hour for our bus and fell asleep on the trip home; I didn't wake until we parked in AC, so the trip and pain were moot for me on the way back. I called my wife and she picked me up within 20 minutes.

I'm not really sure I'll go back again; to be honest it's a lot of effort anymore. I have to be up by 5 AM to get made-up, dress and get to the bus. I forgot to mention, I texted my son and told him I was in the city and he asked if I wanted to go to dinner with him and the family and stay overnight. He was working in Edgewater and I would take the Ferry over and he would pick me up, but coming back is about 45 minuets from his home and then either the ferry or he would drive into the city, I figured it was too much trouble and I'm not comfortable staying overnight even if I'm not en-fem, besides I'll be up there in a couple weeks for my granddaughters birthday.

A picture from Last Year

Just had to share

The BBQ that didn't happen

Last weekend we were invited to a BBQ at the Bird Sanctuary in Brigantine. It seems lately we've been spending so much time over there and have met so many nice friends we should consider moving to the city.

Sunday happened to be one of the windiest days in the past year. I had dressed because it was a Saturday afternoon and afterwards the normal routine is to go to Karaoke which I usually go as Louise and wouldn't have time to dress up.

As we get to the beach area of the Bird Sanctuary (which I had checked out the week before and had no difficulty driving on) I notice no one is there, although I see another car parked way up by the lookout tower witch I presumed my had be one of the party goers so I start to drive towards the car following her path. I get about half way and I start to sink into the sand. I stop and try to back out, well I'm going no place, the wind must be 30+++ miles P H and my wig wants to blow off, just then Millie gets a text saying the party was relocated to our friends house to the wind (if I had known 30 seconds earlier I would have avoided this situation).

So there I am trying to work myself out, the person in the 4 wheel drive who was in front of us is on the tower waving and I'm stuck, she must think I'm playing. Anyway after about 2 or 3 minuets and sinking to my frame I finally had mad a little track to some harder sand and was able to pull forward enough to then backup with momentum and drive out of the ditch I put myself in.

We finally get to the party and a few minutes later the woman who was on the tower comes in and asks if I was the person stuck, I said yeah, she said "Oh I have all kinds of chains and rope, I've pulled people out before". Oh well what do you say after that.

Now for the rest of the story. The home owner asks her neighbors to come over, it's 2 men, we weren't sure of the relationship till about a half hour later, but the one is married to the others sister (brother in laws) but for some reason he would say "partner" so it was confusing.

After an hour or so, and Millie being fed a few Adult Beverages (I've mentioned she's part Native American) she was "feeling her Oats" want to share one of her Karaoke songs with the two men she never met before, the song is "The Rodeo Song" and is quite obscene, to say the least. So she's in her glory and does it "acapella". The one new gentleman turns to her and says "I AM a Baptist Minister", well what do you say after that. There I am all dressed up, my wife is singing a highly offensive song and in the company of a Baptist Minister no less, you CAN'T script this stuff (at least I can't).

So obviously everyone try's to mitigate the embarrassment and we go one with the party. The 2 gentlemen are invited to the Karaoke lounge which they seem to be undecided about because they were moving things out of the condo to take home till next year and wanted an early start.

So now it's about 9:30PM at Karaoke and the host wants Millie to sing her song because there's a group of women at one end of the bar harassing him, Millie in all her glory just starts to belt out her "Rodeo Song" and at the first "Fuc*king" when in walks the Minister and his B-I-L. All we could do is laugh like hell and guess what, he comes over and sits next to me and insists on his picture with me. Oh he's single, never married.

.

unsung hero

09 11 15

Friday night I went to an UPSCALE lounge (for me 11.50 for a glass of wine in Margate NJ qualifies). The Miss America Pageant officials happened to be there for dinner, I didn't interact with any of them, it was a "Black Tie" affair.

I went into the lounge/dance area and was greeted by an acquaintance with his wife, they button holed me and he insisted on offering me a beverage, I don't really like that for a couple reasons, I feel I might need to reciprocate to the person and who they're with and then I have to be polite and stay with them till I'm done with the drink before I can go to my next "Victim" (so to speak). But it was a nice conversation and I discovered this person is a VERY respected artist with highly desired paintings, I think I'll consider buying one, he had some images on his phone and they were outstanding.

I was done my drink and started to walk around when I was beckoned over by the sister of a guy I used to race bike with (he cross-dresses too, but is closeted and a little slutty, he doesn't know I know and I don't think his sister knows either). She introduced me to a person who happened to be a pretty interesting person, he's a commercial pilot and said he fly's all the big stuff, 757's and things like that, I don't keep track of airplanes, but I know that's much bigger than a tractor trailer. 

I mentioned to him my wife had made up 3 pilots who are cross-dressers, he was a little surpassed and then he asked if I knew about the person who created Sirius Radio, I said no, he said he's a Trans Sexual. I looked up this person, Martine Rothblatt   >>> link to interview.

http://www.ted.com/talks/martine_rothblatt_my_daughter_my_wife_our_robot_and_the_quest_for_immortality?share=156038002d

The irony about this person is NOT that they are a transsexual, the important subject here is she is VERY modest about his sexual identity, definitely NOT a Caitlyn "Bruce" Jenner in either appearance, polarity or need to be as flamboyant in promoting her sexual identity.

It is her qualifications as a true GENUS and contributions to technology, medicine and lifestyles without any flag waving about over coming personal demons, she's a "pull up your boots" and do it person, a role model for anyone of any lifestyle regardless of any orientation.

Watch the interview

 http://www.ted.com/talks/martine_rothblatt_my_daughter_my_wife_our_robot_and_the_quest_for_immortality?share=156038002d

 

The Nail Day

 09 08 15

Wednesday I had a morning appointment, the reason this is important to know is over the last year or so I have regressed into some depression, I'll mentioned one of my more demonstrative quotes, 

"Everything I did right turned out wrong"

What has happened is I just have no energy or enthusiasm to go out, even as Lou let alone spend between an hour to hour and a half getting dressed unless I have something to do most of the day or have a new wardrobe item to wear.

Yeah I know I sound as if I have a lot of self pity and guess what, I do. Why would I go to the extremes of cross dressing and not giving a damn of who knows or what they say, as I mentioned, Lou has ALWAYS been abused in someway or fashion (more of that another time).

Wednesday turned out to be exceptional though. I needed an ultrasound but a specific specialist and my Doctor insisted a call the only facility near me to schedule an appointment. Ultra sounds are not too difficult but you still need usually a few days to get into a radiologist, they're all busy. I called the facility early and told the scheduler my Dr wanted to expedite the test, she said we're backed up for a week, I mentioned I'd appreciate the earliest possible, she was polite and I for some reason thew in the fact that if I were my sister, I'd probably get expedited (it just came out because I know how Louise influences people) she had my name and probably recognized it after my comment. Son of a Bitch, she asks if I happen to be Louise, I said yes, she said you were so kind to me and my friends one night at Clancy's (one of my hangouts) by taking party pictures of us, Ill see what I can do, 2 minuets later she said I'm going to work you in for 11 PM today. Well how about that, the power of Louise.

Since it was a Wednesday and my wife and I usually go out for karaoke I called to see about a nail appointment, the receptionist gave me a 2 PM appointment.I became a little enthused and figured I would dress to get my nails done, I usually don't, but the girls love when I come in as Louise.

The nail salon people always give me a great reception, oh sure, I understand they're in business and have to treat everyone nice, but this place has about 20 manicure and pedicure stations and always 90% -100% busy when I come in and I've NEVER seen anyone else given the "red carpet" treatment they give me and I've been going there about 3+ years.

I'm sitting next to an older (70's) lady next to me, a NO nonsense looking woman. My nail tech and I are having a causal conversation and she goes to pick out a different nail color for me. The lady next to me turns and says, I like your necklace it looks silver but has pink in it, well it's a pined 3" medallion and it was catching the reflection from her pink top. We start a nice conversation and she mentions she lives in Ocean City. The location is important to know because it was originally establish as a conservative Christian community, they have Blue Laws and it's a Dry Town. Upper crust Christians are the main population and if there's one non Christian there they probably wear a cross to blend in. I just found it interesting this person never asked why I dress and was exceptional polite to me without sounding patronizing.  

I usually, by habit look around to see if I recognize anyone and see one lady who seems to keep making eye contact with me, but doesn't smile as if she knows me and I can't remember if I know her. We both have to go to the drying station about the same time and they're 2 other lady's drying. She's on the other side of me and starts a conversation and then comes over and asks me if I know a certain Doctor, I said oh yes, he's a really nice person and had done my wife's thyroid surgery, she say's I'm his wife and he always tells me about one of his patients husbands who cross-dresses (he's only seen my pictures) she asks if I'm that person and I said of course. What a class act in my book, she says I'm so happy to meet you, may I take your picture, I said how about we do a selfie, she says, great idea.

OK, so everyone is going to say I'm a narcissistic bitch and want the attention, YOU'RE right, I love it, crave it, compared to being that "Cellophane Man, you can look right at me, walk right by me and never even know I'm there" person, I am respected for who and what I am even if people might not "get it".

My next chore was to go to Shop Rite, what a busy store and I always run into someone I know there. This was no exception, nothing dramatic. It was when I was checking out and another older Lady (mid 70's) tells me to go ahead of her, I recognized her but couldn't remember from where, her husband just walked up and they said we know you from Margate and High School, he said I was an assistant principle and teacher, so he knew me from HS and my business too. I was a little apprehensive even though his wife (she seemed stolid) I realized is also a consumer of my wife, some people can be "snooty" but she was actually very polite to me, the husband and I were bantering with cute little jokes, he said he don't look bad for his age and I agreed but I said don't try to dress like me you wouldn't be competition, even his wife laughed. 

For me it was a fun afternoon that helped me get though the day.

The Irony of My Life Cross-Dressing

I've written repetitively in this Blog at how differently people treat me when I am Louise. But without being in my company and experiencing how I am treated has little impact, it's somewhat like the quote "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there, does it make a noise" sure it does, but there's no one around to appreciate the sound.


This was what transpierced yesterday. I've mentioned I belong to a few social society's, Epicurean, Chamber of Commerce, SJN group, a wine tasting group and a couple others, all are HIGHLY respectable somewhat rigidly straight types and we're talking about an upper middle class and higher level of people, lawyers, doctors, Collage professors, business people all of which have to present a higher standard of lifestyle. In other words, they won't drink from the same bottle, but will drink the same bottle of wine with a glass.


Since it had been a month since I had my nails done, I called to make an appointment as I finished with my makeup, I didn't know how long it would take me so I gave myself an extra 2 hours so they might be able to fit me in. The receptionist said, your nail tech will be busy but if you come right over we'll have someone take care of you. I stopped in and my regular girl said I need 5 minuets, so I sat at the waiting area. There were 4 younger women from about 30-50 years old, the oldest one knew me, but I was challenged, I never remember people I don't see at least 20 times or so. She started a conversation with me and the other 3 lady's joined in the conversation with polite questions the routine one's, how long have you dressed, do you do your own makeup, are you married and so on. What's interesting is when there is one person who knows me better than the others, she or they will become like a promoter by telling what they know about me or reinforcing everything I say. It's really interesting at how proud a person is when they can add some information about me to the conversation.


My second venue was to go to Brigantine for a Mixer with business people. I couldn't stay more than an hour because I had made arrangements to meet my wife at a restaurant for a wine tasting dinner. As I started to mingle with the crowd one lady asked me if I was going to the next class reunion, we discussed a few of the options and her lady friend stopped back to the bar and I was introduced, of course the lady who knew me give the other one a brief biography about me.


From there I stopped by a table with 5-6 women, and again there were 2 lady's who knew me and introduced me to the others. One of the acquaintances and I were making small talk and I mentioned I might need surgery and I was wearing "Spanks" to help control my figure. She was (to be polite) a VERY big lady. She said "I bought one of those and spent about 30 minuets trying to get it on, I threw it in the trash", it was funny. I told her I went to the thrift shop in my area and there were 4 corsets size 3XXX that might fit her, she said I LOVE corsets and said she was going over to see if they would work for her, I find that pretty ironic to say the least.


From there I made a beeline to the restaurant my wife was at, about 10 miles away. I called and she said it was filling up and she saved a seat at the head of one of the tables for me. As I walked in I saw other people from previous wine tastings, the wives' are fine with me, but the two husbands a father and son, who are about 6'2 and 250 lbs. are scared I'm contagious and never acknowledge me, they were waiting to be seated but they were late and had to sit alone in another area, FU*K them.


So I take my seat and because I'm a little different I introduce myself to the people close to us, there were 6 people within close conversation range and I wanted them to feel comfortable, many people don't know how to react so I feel I need to break the ice with a humorous comment like introducing my wife as my mother, that pisses her off, but everyone gets a laugh out of it, she's a real sport and goes along with the comment. Again there was one couple who had met me when the event was taking place about 2 years ago, for some reason it was stopped but now it's on again.


As the night went on it seemed as if I was the focus of attention, everyone asked us about our lives, time we've been together, kids and how and why I started to dress.


The whole thing is ironic when you think about what I do. I think possibly 5 years ago is when CD/TG was just becoming something that was developing a little popularity, but before that it was like you were evil a sinner a pervert or child molester, remember I've been out the last 20 years, I had to break a lot of barriers in my community. But now I feel as if I'm a celebrity, people want others to know they know me, they're proud to be in my company. Sure I realize that I and other CD's are an anomaly but people are starting to become more comfortable and accepting.


For me like many other CD's, I was terrified if someone found out I liked to wear women's clothes, but people have made me feel so welcome that it seems they encourage me to be myself and that's the irony, because 5 years ago, most people had difficulty accepting us.

A touchy Situation

Over the past year I have finally met a few gurls I felt comfortable with in allowing them to accompany me to a couple of the lounges I patronize.

By doing this I risk a possibility of management asking me to either NOT bring others with me or at worse banning me from their premises. I also have a FIRM rule, please DO NOT use the "lady's room", even though the law seems to say a person with Gender ID issues (might) be allowed, I don't think the management is comfortable with a person with male genitilia and NO "F" on any identification using their Ladies room.

In my case I feel honored that management by allowing me to dress as I please as long as it's tasteful and I don't cause trouble by being or acting inappropriate. To me this signals to the other patrons I fit in. To me that is like proving I'm respected for who I am and that it is assumed by management I will conduct myself in a proper way and respectively I don't push my limits.

I did NOT want to post about this subject for fear of not conveying it properly and maybe upsetting people I consider friends who are TG (Transgendered) similar to now the famous Bruce Jenner aka "Caitlyn", but last night one of my guests who seems to be able to convey important subjects better than I sent me their take on a possibly explosive situation that occurred with their visit.

"Her thoughts"

I wrote and posted this to my blog tonight and thought you'd appreciate my thoughts. Hope you are well.

Summer oh sweet summer.  How I wish I could wear a sleeveless shift dress and sandals to work.  It’s too hot to be traipsing around in male business mode.  Summer is made for women and the female wardrobe.  Bare legs feeling the caress of gentle warm breezes, painted toes peeking playfully from the front of my wedge sandals.

Out with friends and en femme all weekend was fulfilling, gratifying and rewarding.  Making new friends and solidifying existing friendships always lifts my spirits.  Thank you my sister friends for supporting me.  I love you more than words can convey.

For two weeks consecutively I was presented with a dilemma that my cranial capacity struggled to absorb.  The sponge of gray matter may need a tune up.  Please read this carefully and heed these thoughts that come not from me but through me from others who are closer to matters of importance than your scribe.

Presentation makes or breaks people, places and things.  How we present not only impacts us, it impacts the group we represent and reflects directly on venues we frequent, their proprietors, their patrons and ultimately on our acceptance.

Yes I know all about First Amendment rights, freedom of expression and all those platitudes the founders chose to craft into the Constitution of The United States.  Factions believe they have the absolute right to express in any way they feel, regardless of the appropriateness of such form of expression.

 

Can we be oblivious to the sensitivities of others in our pursuit of free speech?  We’ve discussed battles and wars in the context of being technically right but realistically wrong.  You can’t think putting people at risk by making a spectacle of yourself is cool or welcome.

Family venues are expected to be wholesome and safe for children of all ages.  Would you bring your child(ren) to locales where clientele dress questionably?  Think of Disney World with ladies of the evening strolling through the streets giving new meaning to the term “Magic Kingdom”. You, your family and your children would find that repulsive, right? Respectability may be in the eye of the beholder.  We must heed such sensitivities even if it means we lengthen our skirt to acceptable heights (not mini-skirt level) and our neckline (above “open for business” plunge) to leave some things to the imagination.

Our money is green like everyone else’s.  Our dollars become more welcome when we blend in with the surroundings, not stand out or call attention to ourselves in negative ways.  I blanche, and so should you, when proprietors tell us we are not dressed appropriately for their establishment.  One such proprietor was particularly and rightfully incensed by scantily clad ladies who failed to read the clientele.  There’s a time and a place to dress suggestively.  That place is not in public where families gather.  At least one proprietor have been burned by callous and thoughtless expression of First Amendment rights.  That is one business owner too many.  Her dinner traffic is down precipitously and she is now struggling to make ends meet.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  Yes I’m quoting scripture because it’s appropriate.  If you were the shop owner and your livelihood was being jeopardized by improper actions, would you be sanguine and gladly sacrifice your financial security for a few strays who refused to think lucidly about how to present themselves in your establishment?

When a shop owner loses customers because of something untoward we do, that owner will be less welcoming and maybe hostile.  Oh and in case this is lost on you, their clientele will be tilted against us as well.  Still feeling self-righteous?

We cannot afford to upset the delicate balance because once tipped away from us there may be no amount of effort to encourage the scale to tip towards us.

 

I respect shop owners who welcome us.  I will jealously protect those relationships and will screen my invitees.  If a member of our community invites you to partake with them at a venue they have cultivated and this member requests your dress and actions to fall within her defined limits, you need to heed her request or beg off.  She’s asking for all the right reasons.  You may not agree but if you value her friendship you will comply. We need to wholeheartedly agree that we will function as a monolithic unit in these matters otherwise we will not make progress towards universal acceptance.

There’s no negotiation or debate about this.  Yes I’m adamant.  I can be petulant about what I believe to be right.  I hope you will be part of the continuing solution.  It means the world to everyone in our community and it also legitimizes our claims for parity.

Let me know if you have thoughts you would like to discuss.

   

This Brought Tears to my Eyes

I just don't know why people treat me so well.
This past Saturday evening we went to one of our usual haunts for karaoke, I really don't sing very well.

As I'm sitting at my table of about 20 people, a lady comes over and says I have something for you and she hands me a framed record titled "Louise" and on the back they put a note.

I just started to tear up. Here I am a guy in a dress without any excesses except I look and feel better when dressed en-fem due to a low self esteem, something that may be difficult for others to understand.

For anyone to do what she did I must have affected them in a positive way.

It was simple but to me an honor.


Unexpected conversations

Last Friday a couple of CD's come to visit. One has a BF the other is looking for a M or F, both are very nice girls with no issues.

We went to one of the local dance lounges, I've taken them there before and they really enjoy it, usually women will dance with them, I don't remember if any men have as yet.

As we walked in I recognized a couple women who know me and they "button holed" me, it's fine I enjoy the attention, mean while the 2 who were with me went to the dance area. As I was talking to the girls, a gentleman standing about 4 ft from me looks at me and smiles from ear to ear, he seemed to be with 2 other men.

If I don't recognize someone I'll ask if we've met before, he said no and gave me his name and we shook hands as I told him mine. One of the 2 other men walked away and the guy who was talking to me said he's homophobic, I said he's has the wrong person, I don't want to catch that (OK corny) but it sets the mode for people being comfortable.

I asked the usual question if he was from the area, he said he just retired from the department of the Navy, I asked what his pay level was, he said he was a 12, I commented that that's like a Major, he said you know your stuff, it's only because I had a friend who was a GS 13 Lt Colonel.

He had some take out and I said you should leave before that gets cold, he politely asked if I would like come with him, I said I might go with you, but I won't "come", well the people who were listening to the conversation all cracked up (corny too). He asked if I came there often and I told him yes, usually Fridays after my wife and I have dinner, I don't think he heard the "wife" part because he said maybe I'll see you again.

The second encounter was more unique. I was in the back area with the other 2 girls and a middle aged women comes over and asks if I know a person (name not necessary), I said yes, she's a Transsexual and very nice and actually a genus IQ, she developed transportation software for the government. The lady says to me in a very direct manner "My husband is living with her", you don't hear that every day from a wife.

I just said that's a little beyond my depth to deal with, but your husband has a good eye.

That's it.

Out in Somers Point after a couple months

I Haven't been out in my local area for a few months, it's been cold, windy, rainy and I felt self concuss after putting on about 10+ lbs, us girls are always figure concuss.

So after a couple month hiatus I asked my wife if she would like to do dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, I also had a new outfit I wanted to wear so that gave me a little incentive.

As we walked in, I was greeted by an acquittance who was the former CEO of SJI, he had met me from going to the proxy meetings and we became friendly, a real gentleman, you can tell a person of class when they are in an important position and can be affected by the company they associate with but chose to risk their creditability by associating with deserve people over the small critical minds of judgmental people, I put him on my HERO list. He also introduced me to all his friends that were with him.

As we ate two other couples came in separately who also know us and made a point of coming over to our table to say hi and ask how Millie (my wife) was feeling, rumors had circulated about her health and people seemed very concerned.

After dinner I took my wife home and went back out to a local dance lounge. Again many of the people who know me asked why they hadn't seen me for awhile, but anyone who knows how much effort it takes to do makeup and look right can understand that it does take time and effort besides all the other conditions that go along with Cross-Dressing. I don't want to spend time getting ready and not have an audience (I know I sound self centered) to admire all my effort.

I like to "cruse" the bar area where they're always people who know me and might be with a new friend who they introduce me to. That happened last night a couple times, but this one person was a hoot.

He looked like a very Catholic Irishman, rigid in their philosophy about anyone how doesn't fit the norm. He was sitting with a lady who introduced me to him, so I thought they were together, what do I know, when I first went out 20 years ago, I used to think every couple was married until my wife clued me into these lounges were "meat markets", I had never heard the term before that. 

We shake hands and I do have a reasonably firm grip, he asks "are you a man", I replied, you felt my grip, he said, I've been to Tia land and have seen many TS/CD's but they're all tall and when the approach me I tell them to go and play basketball. 

We talked a few minuets about the usual concerns, if I was gay, into men and so on, I was very honest and tried to describe the differences with the CD lifestyle, I think he became very comfortable with me, enough to say, "I have to tell you, you look damn good" and with that he reaches behind me as he kisses me on the cheek and says I really like you and gives my butt a squeeze. I was really taken back, I thought he was going to be offensive. 

I guess people treat you the way they see you.

The Art Museum





Saturday night I went to the grand opening to a new Art Museum located in the Claridge Hotel in Atlantic City.

I have to admit it was quite impressive. I'm really not an art coinsure, but I can appreciate what I consider talent. There were a number of artists who had their work displayed, most notably, Burt Young. I must admit I really never knew his name but he was very recognizable, he played Paulie in the Rocky movies, the brother in law, I would have thought he would have more of an ethnic (Italian) name, I mean "Young" sounds more WASP like.


So here is the way the night starts. The function is "Cocktail Attire", fancy name for wear a suit and gown, don't come in with sneakers on, baggy jeans hanging down to your Butt crack and a "wife beater" T shirt on, of course some people who buy 5000.00 to 250,000 dollar art can't read or maybe think they don't have too. I wanted to look right and I respect requests so that I might be respected back. I wore a long black form fitting gown and a black designer shrug my, murdered (yes murdered for real) neighbor gave me about 8 years ago.


There was a large group of people on the wide stairs waiting to be let in so there were a few minutes for people to look around and chat with one another. One of the artist who does beach related photography (very good BTW) noticed me and called out my name. Well apparently "Louise" is a little popular and a few people who were in front turned and wanted to great me too. I felt a little self conscious but also proud that people of high status would show they knew me, it was very flattering, especially when you're a cross-dresser.


As the doors open the crowd started to enter, I crossed the threshold and saw the Mayor, I put my hand out to shake his but instead he reach and grabbed me in a bear hug and kissed me on the lips, this man is about 6'2, I'm 5'2, so I was at a disadvantage. I was totally shocked, yes he has met me before (both ways), but I never expected him to react the way he did.


As I was trying to regain my composure I looked forward and there was a photographer reaching over people heads to get my picture, I don't know how that turned out. Then I looked to my left and my eye doctor is standing next to me and asks me if he can have a picture with me (I have two eye doctors, this one is an ocular specialist also a eye surgeon, he gives me an injection in my left eye once a month) how impressive is that, he has a PHD and is a practicing Doctor and he wants his picture with me..


As I walked through the gallery people who know me from various functions or restaurants I go to and of course my businesses would come over to say hello and introduce me to their wife/husband or friends they were with, unless you've been in someone else's shoes and know them on both sides you can't understand why someone would risk everything and (in this case) cross dress in public.


As I came to the back of the museum, there was Burt Young in person sitting on a metal folding chair, looking almost in a blank stare. To me it almost looked as if he just accepted the fact of who he was and didn't mind pictures taken with him. But as I stood back I could see there seemed to be a problem, perhaps dementia of some type. Most of the artists were describing their work or talking to a few people, socializing if nothing else, but Bert Young looked BLANK, he never moved from that spot not an inch, what a pity. I hope some of his work sold.

The New Car

Another episode in the life of Lou/ise.

For about a year I have been scanning the Toyota Certified used car sites for a new Toyota XLE they also make an XLE Limited edition and even though I was in the business I was more of a "general surgeon" and not 100% aware of every model of car, after all there must be 600-700 different styles and models according to a quick Google search.  I addressed repairs as they came in regardless of type, but still didn't know all the models.

Never the less I was looking specifically for a Minivan from Toyota that had a radar controlled cruise control but I wasn't sure of the exact name it was called, I later found out it's called DLCC (Digital Laser Cruse Control) and that wasn't because the sales person at the dealership told me, he didn't know either and that's why this had developed into a fiasco.

After finding two 2013 Toyota XLE Minivans in Runnemede, NJ I called to ask if they were equipped with the option of Cruse Control that had the option of setting the cruse to a specific speed and it being able to slow down and speed up as cars in front of me dictated, I was informed yes. I said I would be up to look at them and was told the 2 cars would be waiting for me.

My wife and I took the 50 mile ride with our title and a check in hand. The dealer has a greeter at the door and escorts you to the next sales person in line, ours was a nice person about 40's, he was very polite and had mentioned he had been at this dealership about a month.

After some chit chat to qualify us (I guess) he took us to the first car, we weren't very impressed by the color or interior so he said I'll get the other one. He pulled it over to the side of the building and we check it out, it was exceptionally clean. Being about 10 years newer than our car I wasn't sure of all the buttons and controls, for example we have a separate roof mounted control center for the garage door opener and a couple other options on this car they were mounted on the mirror and were unnoticeable until you actually saw them. I was also quite disappointed the backup camera was very small, about the size of a point and shoot camera screen, if you have the option of the built in navigator then it's much larger.

I then ask again about the cruise control and where the radar was, ours is in the lower front bumper and you can see it.  Being unfamiliar with the car I figured they hid it somewhere else and the sales person said it's built into the back of the mirror, there was a little white thing there, so I figured that was it, but questioned that and he said I'll check to make sure, which he never did. Now I could have taken the car for a ride, but we would have had to get on a highway to test the cruise with could have taken about 45 minutes, we had been there about 3 hours by now and my wife wanted to get to work, besides, we had his professional assurance it was equipped the way we wanted.

It took another 3 hours between paper work and other conversation and negotiation before we finally left exhausted about 7:30 at night, seven and a half hours to buy a car, it was almost the same when I bought my own car a year before.

We stopped for a pizza dinner and were on the road by 8:30. I set the cruse but couldn't locate the controls for distance, there had to be something somewhere for that, it's an integral part of that type cruse. I asked my wife to check the manual, she said it's right on the front of the horn button where the radio and controls are, you guessed it, the option was not there.

I called the sales man and told him the most important option is not on this car, he said OK, bring it back in the morning, I'm not going to stick you with the car. Fair enough, we were tired anyway and it was almost 9 PM.

The next morning I called the salesman and said I was on my way up and wanted to make sure he was there and there would be no difficulty, he said he would come in special, he had to bring his kids because Thursday was his day off and he didn't have a sitter. I apologized but I needed to take care of this as soon as possible. As I was driving up, I get a call from the sales manager, he informs me all sales are final, I said look, the car was supposed to have this option and it doesn't, he said in so many words, you bought it, you should have looked, I said I relied on your sales person, do you have unreliable people. I also mentioned I stopped payment on the check.

I get up there, the salesman is there with his 2 kids and the sales manager, a no game player guy comes over and says look, we're not taking the car back, we go back and forth and I say look, the car was misrepresented, I was VERY specific of want I wanted, I could have bought a car near me if I wanted something different. He said let me talk the GM, he comes back and says we'll take another 1600.00 off the price, I said that's generous, but I'll give you 500.00 to take it back for your trouble and your salesman's time.  He thinks a second and said we'll wipe the deal, give him his car back.

As I leave, I ask about any paper work, I'm pretty much in shock at how accommodating he was and wasn't expecting such a quick decision he said we didn't do any title work so you can just go but I forgot to ask for my title back. I get home and see the other title for my other car on the desk and said "Oh Shit", I give a call and the salesman says I'll get it in the morning. Since I wanted to go away Friday en-fem anyway I decided to drive up as Louise. As I walk up to the door, someone rushes over to open it for me, as I walk in a guy from a few desks back comes running over and says "I know you, you're Louise from Margate, my Mom and I were customers of yours". All the salesmen and managers are gathered around with big smiles on their faces as if I was some celebrity, but in the mean time, I cost them almost 8 hours of effort and compromising on their policy of taking back a sold car.

I need to give a high recommendation to the Runnemede Toyota for their integrity and honesty in doing the right thing, this could have been much worse and gone to court, I think the decision would have been "contributory negligence" I was as much at fault as the dealer, they did the right thing in my book and I took care of the salesman for his time and effort so everyone was happy.

As my quote states

"Everything I do right turns out wrong"

The 2015 Atlantic City Auto Show

Over the last 12-15 years I have gone to the Atlantic City Car show Auction, usually alone and ALWAYS en-fem (as Louise). This year after meeting a few gurls within 50-60 miles vicariously though one of them, I asked if they would like to join me.

 Heather, Staci, Nikki and Brianna (Brianna was not at the Auto Show)

The actual motive, I believe for joining me and also for myself, in going to this venue is more about presenting ourselves in public to see how far we can push limits. I don't mean by over exaggerating our appearances by dressing to provocatively or like "Drag Queens" , but more to see how we will be treated in a large public venue. 

I know even after 19 years of being "out" I still get a kick and enjoyment of people needing to talk with me, there is nothing more important than being recognize for our choice of appearance, but also for people acknowledging accepting and respecting us.

The conversation usually amongst most cross-dressers or even people who are interested in the lifestyle is  how "Passable" are you, it almost seems as if our rational is taken for granted that we are pretty much normal, but then the other question that follows next is "are you gay" or do you like men. What most people (including us as CD's too) don't understand is that everyone, who is human has sexual needs and it doesn't matter who or what level of society or business we are, sex is a VERY motivating commodity, in fact, you can have sex rich or poor, fat or skinny or ugly and attractive.

Many people of the Christian faith try to address sex on a morality and guilt basis, yeah, that works, ask a Priest. Other faiths feel it's OK to have sex with minors, as long as it's a family member (I have to think about that one). I'm sure they're many perverted beliefs but because we as male cross-dressers are considered aberrant people automatically consider us "cruising". But many people go to a bar/lounge either to pickup or be picked up and that's normal behavior because you're wearing the properly tagged underwear and socks or pantyhose. 

 

I seem to always go off thought.

The part of the day where it becomes more interesting is when my wife (Millie) picks us up from the show and we go to our favorite breakfast place, but for dinner time now.

As we walk in (4 CD's and one GG) the lady owners welcome us with hugs and kisses and set us up at the most visible table in the place to put us on display. They hovered over us like we were their personal guests, hugging us and having pictures with us. For the other gurls it had to be thrilling to be treated with such respect and admiration (FYI: this is a Greek owned establishment).

I have to also point out, that all but one of these gurls has been out for a few years, usually with a group, possibly for safety, but still trying to discover how it feels to be welcome, there is a difference between acceptance, tolerance and being welcomed, the first two are usually done because people do what's acceptable practice (politically correct, so to say) but being welcomed is something done because people see only who you are regardless of your look or status level in life. For example, a politician commands a certain amount of respect, even if you hate what he stands for, you have to accept or tolerate his BS or be subject to some type of punishment. But take a homeless person who has been down on his luck, he has nothing to offer you, nothing you can take from him that hasn't been taken already, he looks like hell but as a person he asks for little more than just some "daily bread", you empathize with him, you want to try to help and might offer a meal or a bath. To me that's the difference between being accepted and welcomed.

After dinner we went to a dance lounge, there was a new hostess (I really didn't know that) she addressed me with a warm reaction, I thought she knew me. We went over to one side of the bar and the lady manager came over a few minutes later and said to me "the new hostess wants to apologize that she might have scared you, we have your picture on the wall and she was so excited to meet you she over reacted". How about that, talk about celebrity status.  She then said I have a table on the dance floor I want to give to you, I'll put reserve signs on it so you can be comfortable. Holly mackerel, instead of being critical of me and any motives I had by bringing in 4 other CD's with me we were given TOP honors. One of the gurls (Heather) said Louise has pull where ever she goes, she's exactly right in how important it is to act "Lady Like" in public in order to allow people to respect us first before they make assumptions. 

I can't take credit for most of this, I always tell people when they say I have courage (I use another term that starts with a "B") I express they're the ones with courage because people will be more critical about them accepting me and think that they might be the one with ulterior motives.

Also Millie was my backup person, she created, accepted, encouraged and help developed my look so I wouldn't look or act like a clown if and when I went out. She is the HERO.

Louise