Some Observations

I have been called naïve, I really consider that a polite term for calling someone dumb. I consider myself exceptionally naïve only because I naturally trust people, who tend to be untrustworthy, I guess I live, mostly by the golden rule "Do unto others as you would have them do to you" although many  go by the other phraseology  "Do unto others, before they do it to you".


But I don't want to paint myself with a totally virgin brush, we all have weaknesses and at times might just overstep our boundaries slightly, I won't get into details, for me it's a moot subject, but I'm trying to point out that even a naïve person can see beyond some smoke mirrors.


The reason I'm prefacing this post is because of my very recent experiences this week. I have never pretended for an instant that I look so good as to pass and I've never (I don't think) been so conceded to think I look exceptionally attractive when en-fem, what I do like to say is "I make a nice presentation". What that means is, I'm clean shaven, I'm small in stature (although due to a medical condition, expanding), I do my makeup a little on the elaborate side, but it works for day and evening and I try to dress appropriately for the occasion I'm in.


These were a couple activities I happened to be involved with this week. I went to New Hope and stayed over night, the next day on my way home I stopped at a "Flea Market" on Rt 29, it was about 90% Russian venders, I didn't know until I spoke with a few. I have absolutely no idea of how Russians acceptance of cross-dressers is, but they were exceptionally polite to me, either because they looked at me as a potential customer or were familiar with other CD's due to the proximity to New Hope, but I didn't really notice any gay type vendors (not that they have labels), so I was very well attended to when I asked a question and a few complimented me on the jewelry I was wearing. One person who was a vendor stopped me and said he remembered me from Atlantic City when the Antique Show would come here. He said, you always had an entourage behind you, I don't know why he said that, I usually went alone or with my wife.


When I got home I had a message on my home phone, it was a personal call from the gentleman who is running for Congress (not a robo call). I called back and a male answered, I asked for the party who called me and he said, he's out right now, but if you leave your name I'll have him return your call. At this point I was sort of obligated to leave my name, when I told him he said, Oh, hold on, he's here and wants to speak with you. The gentleman said, Oh Louise, I'm so glad you returned my call, It would be an honor if you would please join my wife and I for dinner


Yes, it's most likely a political function, I know the restaurant, it's fairly intimate (small) so it can't be a very large guest list. I consider it one of my highest honors by being both personally invited and also by realizing he was screening calls, but wanted to speak with me directly. He will certainly get my vote and I'll post how the affair went.


I also had to go to my Urologist en-fem, he's a trip, the first thing he said was, OK drop your pants, I'm doing a digital  exam. No way, he was laughing like hell. He was the one who aspirated me a few months ago.

Congressman's invitation

Last month I met an ex-congressman's son, I had mentioned the father in previous posts but the son had never met me. What I found interesting in this situation is the old axium "the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree" was right on.

Of course this person is a highly educated and confident criminal attorney and (I think) prosecutor, so dealing with someone like me was no issue.

As I walked into the tent where the function was being held, the candidate left the people he was in conversation with and greeted me by putting his arm into my elbow, as you would a Lady, and said I want to introduce you to someone. He walked me over to President Senator Sweeney. The senator is a HUGE man, my hand felt as if I put it into a baseball glove, I don't have very big hands, but I've always prided myself by not being over griped, I couldn't even span the width of his palm. What was interesting was his initial reaction towards me, it was almost as one of my friends likes to eloquently put it "seeing a train wreck", but he was polite.

As I mingled I was surprised that a few people only know me vicariously, one though her son I used to race bicycle with and a few who had seen the press articles about me. I was also surprised that even though this is a liberal party, people are often controlled by their peers no matter what they might believe or want to do, no one wants to be ostracized for doing something others might consider controversial, but I seemed to be well accepted or maybe just a curiosity, but I was made to feel very welcome.

One of the interesting conversations I had was with a "person of the cloth". We just started a general conversation and he told me a joke, I replied with one I know (slightly off color, but not rude), the next few jokes got a little more interesting.

When I was ready to leave I bid good night to the candidate and mentioned I may have had one drink to many, he offer to drive me home but I said "oh no, people might talk". I'm not sure how that went over. 

Beach Blast

I volunteered a couple weeks ago to help the director of a large GBLT event. I spent a full day painting a dance floor that was about 100x100 ft and also mounting about 40-50 flag poles to a fence and in the sand, I think it was quite an effort on my part. Two days later I was asked if I would take part in the "Drag Race" event on the beach, I was told that the lady organizing the volunteers had no one to take part in it and it was to help open the beach event, so "Easy Lou" accepted.

It's not as if I didn't want to, but the first day the event owner seemed to be a little indifferent towards me, not even thanking me for my effort, and didn't even tell me he was leaving after leaving instructions of what needed to be done, so I finished the job with one other person.

Saturday I showed up at the scheduled time (dressed en-fem this time). The lady running the volunteers had to get a few of her girlfriends to dress as guys "Drag KINGS" and there was one Drag Queen, and myself a Cross-dresser. We were taken from the Claridge Hotel to Florida Ave (about a mile) in rolling chairs, interestingly I was born in AC and used to spent most of my life on the Boardwalk till I was about 20 years old and never rode in a Rolling Chair, it was a first for me.

When we got to our destination we had to pose for some photo shoots, (I am a camera lens hag) so it was fun for me, I felt like a movie star. We went onto the beach and after some introductions of who we were we had to compete in a "Drag Race" in the sand with high heels on and around two markers for 4 laps, about 400 feet. If anyone knows me, I've kept in pretty good shape between cycling and running 3 days a week with each sport. Let me tell you, even the girls kicked my ass, I was so embarrassed I came in last.


But the part that really upset me was when I wanted to introduce my wife to the event owner and he didn't have time, you can bet I won't help out again.

The Painter, update

Over the weekend my painter had another job to do before coming back to mine on Monday. As I went out to great him he says to me "I hear your famous" I tried to play dumb (it' not to hard for me) but I didn't know how he found out.


He said when he was at the other job on Saturday he mentioned he needed to pickup some equipment from a house in Linwood, the clients asked where he was working and he mentioned my name, they dropped the bomb on him, apparently their comments were very positive.


He said, you know what gave you away was your nails, I noticed them the first day but I just wasn't sure and didn't want to say anything inappropriate, he was very comfortable with the whole thing.

Millie and Louise with the Mayor of Atlantic City

Millie and Louise at a social event at the Tropicana in Atlantic City

With

Mayor Don Guardian

of

Atlantic City

D

My Painter

This past Monday my painters started working on the outside of my home. I had originally met this person while getting coffee at the local McDonald's, I stopped in after cycling and he was dressed in paint stained clothes, it was obvious he painted, so I asked if he would give me an estimate which turned out very fair compared to other estimates I received, we met a couple times to go over what needed to be done and had set up the scaffolding the week before so he knew me pretty well in my "Lou" persona, which definitely is NOT a "Kodak Moment".

So Monday he comes to start and was parking in my driveway, I asked if he wouldn't mind parking at the curb because my "Twin Sister" was coming over, I was going out in the afternoon to a social event with my wife to meet the new AC Mayor en-fem, I figured I'd break the painters chops because he would still be here when we left.

About 4 PM I come out of my front door to get my mail and he was loading up his truck, as I walked by him (without acknowledging him) he turned from the drivers door and said hello, the paused and looked and said, you almost got me, I looked at him and said, I'm Lou's sister, he looked again and said, OMG, you look exactly alike, I'm Bill the painter, I gave him a sissy limp wrist-ed 2 finger ladylike handshake and had only softened my voice slightly. He asked if "Lou" was in the house because he wanted to give him an estimate on the carpentry work needed, I told him he had gone out and he could talk to him the next day.

The next day I spoke to the painter and commented that my sister told me she met him, he had no comment. I'm going out tomorrow, Friday, and he'll have another chance to meet "Louise" I wonder if he realized who I was and didn't want to say anything.

I'll find out, because I'm a persistent little bitch.

A Wallmart Moment

I don't get out to our local Wallmart often, but last weekend I was looking for an item which I couldn't find there either. I figured as long as I was there I'd look around the woman's clothing department, never figuring I'd find anything that I might like.

Hanging by a "walk through" were a couple of interesting looking skirts, one was white with silver accents through it and the other was a pink with black Polka Dots. I usually don't wear skirts but because these were a spandex type blend I knew could pull them up high on me and cover them with a top so I got 2 in a size 6-8 (not my size, but what I wear) my motto in business and when cross-dressing is "If it ain't tight, it ain't right" both comments are somewhat like an aphorisms.Besides, they were only $4.88 each, how could I go wrong.

Apparently my choice was right, I was getting lots of positive compliments, in fact as I was sitting next to a young lady another lady came over to me and gave me a basket of popcorn, whom I didn't know and did not work there, The girl sitting next to me said she did that because you're so beautiful. Even my wife's friend husband come over and gave me a big hug. Another of my (lame quoits) "I turn straight men gay and gay men straight", if you know anything about gay's, they're really not attracted to anything in a dress, other than being friendly, and straight men, well anything can work for some. Anyway, it was a fun night.

My Persona Precedes Me

Yesterday I had a meeting with my local bank investment advisor who had asked a Trust advisor to visit from North Jersey to discuss becoming trustees for my estate, not that it's so large, but I do want it to be perpetual and directed the way I've stated in my will.


As I've mention numerous times, everyone knows me, locally at least and my bank people are no exception. It was obvious the bank official had clued in the trust advisor of my peculiarities, in the event I showed up as "Louise", I don't know what the rest of the conversation was.


When I walked in I was wearing (women's) skinny jeans and women's "bedazzled" sandals as Lou. The banker commented on the sandals which gave me a Segway to mention I have a duel persona. The Trust advisor from North Jersey said, I think I saw you in Margate one time, I replied, it must have been at "Tomatoes", he said yes, I was there with another bank person and you were with a lady, after you left the Bar Tender told us all about you and that the lady was your wife. I handed him my card and he said, yes that was you.


As one of my quotes goes "People tell me they can't forget me, no matter how hard they try"

The Cop on Saturday Night

Over the years I've been pulled over about 20-22 times when dressed as Louise, most of my experiences have been fortunately good, even though they mostly for speeding, one was no seat belt in NYC (I got a summons) and one for not stopping (a summons I argued in court and had it reduced for no points or insurance increase) the rest I was given a verbal warning, I guess "Louise" has been very lucky.

Saturday night my wife and I were going to our favorite Karaoke lounge in Brigantine. There is a high bridge and a long causeway with usually a strong tail wind so it's not difficult to not realize your speed and they mark it down to 45 MPH just at the bottom of the bridge from 55MPH.

Since my car is newer and all these conditions were in effect I wasn't paying attention to my speed, until I saw the unmarked black no lights on cop car in the center median and that's when the trouble started.

It was so dark I couldn't even see him u-turn to follow me, I got up to the corner where I turn and his lights came on so I just pulled over, my wife of course was gently verbal and called me every term in the book relating the the physical anatomy and self satisfying manipulations you can call a person, some I never heard of before (I'll have to try them).

 Well to make a long story longer. The Cop of coarse introduced himself and described my offense of being "clocked at 68 MPH in a 45 MPH zone" and ordered me to present my credentials, I keep my drivers license in my trunk since my car had been broken into last year, so he told me to get it, I was in a tight leopard  print mini dress which didn't leave anything to the imagination, I was missing my Registration which I paid for but was never sent to me by the dealership (just my luck). He said if you find it wave it out the door and went back to his car.

We looked for a few minuets and I found a temporary Registration which I waved out the door, he came and got it and then spent another 10 minuets writing out the summons, I figured I was TOTALLY screwed for being 23 MPH over, I'll post the punishment for over 30 MPH in NJ.

When he came back he said I issued you 2 summonses, one for no registration but if you find it you may be able to have it dismissed, the other for visual obstruction, I have a handicap Tag for my wife hanging on the mirror. All I could say was Thank you so much for being kind to me, I know I was totally at your mercy, you were kind.

New Jersey Speeding & Motor Vehicle Points

A speeding ticket of 1 to 14 miles over the limit is a 2 point offense. A speeding ticket of 15 to 29 is a 4-point offense. Finally, a speeding ticket of 30 or more over the limit is a 5-point offense.

Violations of speeding tickets will result to the awarding of the following fines under the following factors:
Outside the safe corridor or construction zone:

• Exceeding speed limit by 1-9 miles per hour, $85
• Exceeding speed limit by 10-14 miles per hour, $95
• Exceeding speed limit by 15-19 miles per hour, $105
• Exceeding speed limit by 20-24 miles per hour, $200
• Exceeding speed limit by 25-29 miles per hour, $220
• Exceeding speed limit by 30-34 miles per hour, $240
• Exceeding speed limit by 35-39 miles per hour, $260

Within the safe corridor or construction zone:

• Exceeding speed limit by 1-9 miles per hour, $140
• Exceeding speed limit by 10-14 miles per hour, $160
• Exceeding speed limit by 15-19 miles per hour, $180

Additional points will also be awarded to speeding violators. The points are as follow:

• Exceeding speed limit by 1-14 miles per hour, two points
• Exceeding speed limit by 15-29 miles per hour, four points
• Exceeding speed limit by 30 miles per hour or more, five points

WHEW

House & Garden Show

Last Saturday I went to the House & Garden Show at the Atlantic City Convention Center, I really wanted to try out my new outfit in public, something like an Equestrian look.








It seems a shame that the show had really degraded to being non eventful. There were no garden setups at all that I remember and the Home improvement part used to have some interesting demonstrations and new products for DIYers. I think I took the whole show in about an hour.








Before I left I wanted to hit the restroom, I walked by the lady's room where there was a woman with Muslim type headwear who looked at me as I walked by expressing that I was at the right restroom, I said "no, I need the men's room" and just walked past and into the men's room. As I entered there was a row of about 8-10 stall doors in front of me and a guy coming out of one, he immediately informed me of being in the wrong restroom (it happens all the time), I said in my Lou voice (which is the same as Louise) "I know". I entered a stall and he went to wash his hands and say "I really thought you were a woman", I replied "I take that as a compliment".








Later that night ,my wife and I went out for Karaoke. I went to the microphone to sing my second song (What a Wonderful World) and 4 or 5 couples got up to dance, as I was about halfway through, a person from the rear of the bar comes walking onto the dance floor, navigating between the couples and stands in front of me staring, I didn't look at him because I was concentrating on the words, but knew what was happing. After I was done the Karaoke host (Mike) said, you really had that guy confused. When I sat down everyone including my wife were laughing about the incident.






I don't try to full myself by thinking I'm anywhere near passing, I just like to say I make a nice presentation.

Everyone Needs a Louise Business Card in their Wallet

This morning, at 7:30 AM, I received a phone call from someone looking for a person named "Shelia".  I asked what it was in reference too and he said he had found a purse with Credit Cards and ID and the only phone number was on a business card with a pretty woman in a red dress on the front and the phone number on the back.


I said, OH, I think I may know the person who owns that purse, let me call her and I'll have them call you. As it turned out it was a local Transsexual, who I know from the local Mixers we attend and I had just given her an updated version of my card which she obviously put in her purse.


The moral of the story, keep a business card of "Louise" and she'll definitely get a call even if you don't get your purse back, if you get the inference.

My Camera

I put my camera on Craig's List, it was a great camera, but just way more than what I had needed and to heavy to carry around for "point & shoot" photos, besides the new P&S cameras do a great job at 1/4 the cost and weight, and everything is automatic, you can go manual if you want.

So I get contacted by a Pro photographer who says he'll come up and buy it, but the next day, Sunday, he calls to say he couldn't get enough money out of his bank machine due to the limits. The next day he calls and said, look, I can get a brand new one for about the same price. I said OK, I would have liked to sell it to you because you were close and could check it out hands on.

 

I figured I lost the sale so I sent a short message around 11 PM saying, I not only stand behind the camera but I also stand in front of it too and included my picture of me in the red outfit. The next day he called me and said, anyone with the courage and honesty to share that I have to meet and do business with. He was up that afternoon with his wife and bought my camera.

My Horseback Riding Outfit

Last Saturday I went to the House & Garden Show at the Atlantic City Convention Center, I really wanted to try out my new outfit in public, something like an Equestrian look.

It seems a shame that the show had really degraded to being non eventful. There were no garden setups at all that I remember and the Home improvement part used to have some interesting demonstrations and new products for DIYers. I think I took the whole show in about an hour.

Before I left I wanted to hit the restroom, I walked by the lady's room where there was a woman with Muslim type head wear who looked at me as I walked by expressing that I was at the right restroom, I said "no, I need the mensroom" and just walked past and into the men's room. As I entered there was a row of about 8-10 stall doors in front of me and a guy coming out of one, he immediately informed me of being in the wrong restroom (it happens all the time), I said in my Lou voice (which is the same as Louise) "I know". I entered a stall and he went to wash his hands and say "I really thought you were a woman", I replied "I take that as a compliment".

Later that night ,my wife and I went out for Karaoke. I went to the microphone to sing my second song (What a Wonderful World) and 4 or 5 couples got up to dance, as I was about halfway through, a person from the rear of the bar comes walking onto the dance floor, navigating between the couples and stands in front of me staring, I didn't look at him because I was concentrating on the words, but knew what was happening. After I was done the Karaoke host (Mike) said, you really had that guy confused. When I sat down everyone including my wife were laughing about the incident.

I don't try to full myself by thinking I'm anywhere near passing, I just like to say I make a nice presentation.

A Tale of Two Dinners

 

Sunday night I went to a group dinner with some of my cycling colleagues (I find it difficult to call them friends even though we've been together close to 30 years). I really should have knowen better and should have declined the invitation.

The first thing I learned, I was told a time that was about an hour late, so everyone had been seated next to whom they wanted to be with, I was at the far end of the table from at least 2 people I could have had a conversation with, instead I was stuck between 2 homophobes.

Since I was contacted late I had already eaten a late lunch so I wasn't really to hungry and only ordered 2 slices of Pizza, the rest ordered full dinners, this place is not a budget restaurant so I know it must have been 30-45 dollars per person, the one person beside me order 2 half bottles of wine too. When he heard my order he said that's going to be the most expensive Pizza you ever ate, meaning they always like to split the bills evenly, I think they over order so that everyone else has to pay for someone else's over indulgence, I really think that's rude. I threw in 15.00 bucks for my pizza and a coke, fuck them (oops, did I say that?).

After we ate I went down to talk with the 2 guys I'm closer with. I was wearing skin tight jeans, women's riding boots a tweed sports jacket and a ferdora hat, so it was a little like an "Indiana Jones" look. I sat down between one friendlier guy and the organizer of the dinner who always needs to break my chops about everything I do, he starts rubbing my leg asking in a loud tone, how the hell did you get into those jeans, he kept rubbing and finally grabbed with both hands my leg. I had to answer in the same tone of the gesture and said, I have to wet them first so they stretch over my body and then shrink up. I called him the next day (no answer) and left a message that I was suing for sexual harassment. While I think about it, we all wear Lycra/spandex when we ride bicyle.

Interestingly, the night before (Saturday) my wife and I went to an anniversary dinner, we've known this group of people about 5 years through Karaoke, they all know me as Louise and occasionally as Lou, Saturday I was Lou because this was a party for this other couple. The invite was 3 weeks before and we have always been included with all their get together's without any discomfort or negativity from anyone. Also, every couple had separate checks and ours was 40,00 dollars with tip and one glass of wine and no insults and I dressed the same way as the night with the cyclist. Go Figure.

A Humorus Situation

Saturday evening we went to our usually Karaoke place in Brigantine, NJ, St Georges. The place was pretty crowded so we looked towards our usual sitting area to see if our friends had saved seats for us, they waved us over.


Millie went directly over but I usually get "button holed" by some people and for me being accepted is VERY important so I want to talk with them, it only took about 20 minuets before I got to the tables that are pushed together. There was a new couple sitting at our spots but chairs were placed for Millie and I to sit between them and our friends. I of coursed introduced myself to the new people, they were cordial and when I heard them speak it was obvious they were from the south (Bible Belt).


I attempted to have a conversation with the new woman, but I could tell she was somewhat guarded so I backed off rather than make her to uncomfortable. I did introduce Millie as my wife and mentioned how long we've been together so that they would know I was accepted by my wife and not soliciting anything ulterior.


As we were leaving and saying our good nights, the woman said to me, I'm a Baptist and I've never met anyone like you, I don't judge people but I just didn't know how to react but you seem like a very nice person, I thanked her and said we come here most Saturdays so possibly we'll see you again. She said we have a business nearby and we're her permanently and I've sang all my life so we will be back, she did sound great and seems to be competition for my wife.


THE NEXT DAY


Sundays my wife and I go to breakfast in Somers Point, we got there late this Sunday and I mentioned to my wife, I have a whole new group of people to break in, only because (I think) I dress in an androgynous way, I don't look fem by any stretch but I wear women's jeans, jacket and women's horse back riding boots so I really draw attention. As my wife walked into the restaurant an elderly gentleman (89 he told me) was walking to his car next to me and noticed my outfit, he asked if I rode horses, I laughed and said no, I introduced myself and he just wanted to talk about my boots. He was with his daughter (middle aged), he kept pressing about my boots, I said I'll give you my card if you don't get upset, I handed it to him and he said WOW, that's the most excited I've been in 30 years, his daughter said he'll show that to everyone in the rest home.


As I go into the restaurant to locate my wife, I'm again stopped by another older guy (84), I like to ask ages. Turns out he was connected to the Philly mob in a vicarious way due to the nature of his business. We also had some mutual acquaintances  because he was now retired in Longport and I had a lot of customers from there. He had also asked if I rode horses and I gave him my card too. I thought he would be rude and direct, but instead he said he was going to invite me to a party. To be honest, I have been invited to quite a few parties, but if everyone who said they would did, I'd never have a free night.


So finally, after 20 minuets again I get to sit with Millie, the waiters had to bring a warm cup of coffee and Millie asked, what happened to me?


We just finish ordering our food when the couple we met the night before is seated next to us, I ask Millie if they were the people we met and she confirmed. I said I have to break "balls", so I go to their booth and stand there staring at them, the lady looks at me in a thinking way, do I know this person, her husband looks at me for a few seconds and say's OMG and leans over and tells his wife "It's Louise" from last night. The Lady jumps out of her seat and grabs me in a bear hug and kisses me, what a reaction. After we ate they asked us to sit with them and just talk.


I love the reactions.

The Ultra Conservative at the Anchorage Restaurant Last Night

I went out as Lou last night for a snack, my wife chose not to go with me and it was so cold I didn't feel like dressing up.


As I entered the bar area I didn't recognize anyone and all the seats we taken, although they have another bar in the dinning area, so I sat there nest to an older man.


I like conversation so I brought up a pretty non controversial subject, the weather, the guy went some what ballistic. He said "yeah, that jerk Gore says we're warming and now we're freezing". He started to discuss the Ice Age and other climate changes and that it's just a cycle. Then he starts with being an Ultra conservative and being OK with people of different sexual inclinations but hating the fact that people like Ellen Degeneres push the liberalization issue in his face.


At that point I felt I should keep my mouth shut about my "alter ego", but the owner of the restaurant came over and asked if the guy knew me as Louise, I said Don, please not now. All the time the woman bar tender (I went to school and was in the same business as her father) was looking and shaking her head like saying, I know this guy and he's not going to be nice, so I'm saying nothing.


A couple people walk in who know me and come over to say hi and ask why I'm not dressed and where my wife is, I try to brush it off by saying it's to cold and she had surgery, we have a short conversation and they get seated for dinner. The guy I'm next to asks what people are talking about and I say, you might hit me if I tell you. Of course he says I'd never do that, so I reluctantly give him my card expecting to at least get insulted.


He looks at the card and asks, is that your wife, then turns it over and reads the back, it says "Louise a Female Illusion" and lists that I'm available as a party greater and do photography. He says out load, WOW, that's you, you look great and tells the bar tender to give me a drink (on him) and say's I love it and wants to know how much I charge to be at a party for his brother.


People ask me why I'm compelled to cross-dress, for me it's just being treated the way this "ridged" ultra conservative person was compelled to treat me. After talking with me for about a half hour before I shared my other side, he knew I wasn't off the wall or trying to prove anything, which I guess allowed him to accept "Louise" in a more "LIBERAL" manner, I think I allowed an Ultra Conservative to rethink his opinion about alternative people.

Clancy's Restaurant

This past Friday night I went to another of my favorite hangouts. It was mostly the same people who make me very comfortable just by having normal conversations with me. I think most have finally realized I'm pretty harmless and actually see me as Louise.


I walked around the two bar areas and finally settled next to a couple who are very friendly with me and also another gentleman on my other side who claimed to know me but I had forgotten and didn't recognize. Never the less he was very polite.


I like to look and study people, it's interesting seeing many of the same people who seem to have become social groups in and out of the bar scene and then you see some who tend to be alone all the time. The age and type fit all styles and category's, I'd say 5% are married, some are widowed, many divorced.


As I was scanning the area, I noticed 3 middle aged guys, at least mid/late 40's on the other side of the bar, nothing special and I didn't really recognize them. As I'm talking with the one guy on my left, one of the guys from the other side came over behind me and says "Louise, I met you about a year ago and I was just taken back by you, you are amazing and I am so impressed by you". This guy looked some what like "Bluto" Popeye The sailorman's arch enemy. He was pretty big, very hostile looking, veins popping out of his head and a very short beard, this guy had a lot of stress going on in his life and actually reminded me of myself, as far as the stressed look, before I started to go out cross dressed, but he was about 3 times my size. He stood there almost blubbering about how much he admired me and was amazed at how well I looked, he almost had drool running from the sides of his mouth.


I doubt very much he was really attracted to me, but who knows. I was pretty taken back by all of his compliments and some what afraid to ask if he wanted his picture with me for fear he would have taken that as a gesture of me being attracted to him. I think the next time I do have to ask him though, he was very complimentary and I felt like a heel because he may have felt uneasy asking me.


I find it interesting when I read a lot of posts from other CD's who claim they're passable or looking for some type of intimacy with males but won't venture outside of a gay club because they feel safer in that environment. I guess they just don't understand most gay men are attracted to other men, not men who look like women, straight men are attracted to pretty people and seem not to care what gender they may be.


I have no guilt feelings about my sexuality which (I think) is why I can venture out in public and not be ashamed of being myself in any form I chose.

My Urologist

So last week I had an appointment with my urologist, I got there at 8:30 and there's usually a receptionist, but they've changed their system.

 

As I walked in there was a bank of 4 monitors with 3 patients hovering over them and cursing in frustration. I was somewhat taken back, first time I've encountered that anywhere. Well it looked reasonably simple so I started to follow the prompts until it asked me to swipe my drivers licence, I leave that in the trunk. So I went out to get it and came back in, in the mean time the 3 patients are still dwelling over the machines and now with angry and verbal obscenities and frustrations. I enter my information without a hitch in 15-20 seconds but I get a message back saying I missed my appointment.

 

There's no one in front to ask what's going on so I go back to the exam area, where I asked if I can be helped by a somewhat annoyed nurse (I guess). I tell her what happened and she says, you missed your appointment and have to reschedule, I said I want to see my Dr. NOW, she goes back and brings out the office manager, I tell her I'm not rescheduling and I want to see my Dr., she looks up my name and says OK, he'll see you in 15 min's wait in the waiting area. We go out and I tell her look, that guy is still having trouble and he's been here 30 min's, she offers no help to him.

 

Finally, the guy yells WTF, I missed my appointment, he goes in the back and starts screaming, the best they'll do is schedule him at 9:30, mind you, he probably had an 8:15 appointment and it's now 9:00., He leaves the office pissed off. Two more guys come in and I warn them they should have their credentials before they start, the one guy looks at me like, don't worry, I've done this before, so I shut up. Well after 15 min's he finally gets logged in, he must have been very early, because the manager told me it times out after 10 min's.

 

To top it off, my Dr, wasn't even there and they were going to have a doctors assitant see me, but I finally got to see a Dr. but not mine and all he did was to ask me questions about how I felt and never touched me.

 

I should have recorded this whole scene for "Americas Funniest Video's", it was a real classic. I think it's time to find another Dr., this is the 4 th one in the same office I've seen in about 3 years. Maybe some people enjoy different people fondling their privates and having digital examinations, but I don't.

My (so called) Cycling Friends

I've been aware of monitoring of my Blog by my Cycling group (I intentionally leave out calling them) friends, colleagues, buddies or any other noun, due to their treatment of me and the only one person I can call Friend. He thinks they ostracize him because we're friendly and he'll inform me of any private rides, so they chose not to invite him, how FU*KING petty is that.

Over the years I have always struggled to ride bicycle, especially with this group for a couple reasons, one, they are extremely strong and focused, also most are younger than me (but that's an excuse I use, when I trained regularly I was just as good), the other important reason for it being a struggle for me is I'm definitely not respected for any of my endeavors to be "one of the guys", they cut me no breaks, but that's pretty much so with most of them, although some do get special treatment and it's deserving.

The whole concept of these people is really a paradox, most of them are (unfortunately) dealing with private issues they and I prefer not to mention in any venue. I on the other hand tend to be VERY open about anything in my life, possibly they fear my courage or just pass me off as a lunatic.

Well guess what, I don't consider myself courageous and I don't know if I ever met anyone who wasn't abnormal, we all have some CRAP or baggage we're dealing with, isn't that normal? I just chose to not care and I'll tell you why I don't care what anyone thinks.

When I was in business I was (metaphorically) screwed every day, did anyone come to my rescue, NO. I had the State and Federal EPA at my door for years and it cost me a small fortune, was anyone there, NO. I sold my business and my lawyer must have set me up and sent a subordinate who knew nothing about the deal and allowed the buyers to dictate the terms, was anyone there, NO. And I don't even want to get into my and my wife's heath issues is anyone there to help, even with advise, NO. So why the FU*K would I care what anyone thinks about what makes me happy.

One other BIG issue I have as long as I'm on this tirade, I don't mind being used as a "dart board" for people making comments that anyone else would consider "fighting words", I just accept it as part of my payment for associating with this group. BUT, when I made a joking comment to one person about his rude and unkind gesture towards a woman being overweight riding a bike as we passed her, he came back and physically accosted me. Oh sure, I could have done a few things, I could have tried to physically addressed it (and probably lost), I could or should have called the cops (right, any pussy could do that and where would that go), or I could have tried to mitigate it as I tried (even though I did nothing wrong) but my gestures were rejected, if this was Hollywood I would have been considered a HERO, but my life ain't no movie so I've learned to accept pain and my little hell I live in.

 JUST don't reject the other guy because he's friends with me.