My (so called) Cycling Friends

I've been aware of monitoring of my Blog by my Cycling group (I intentionally leave out calling them) friends, colleagues, buddies or any other noun, due to their treatment of me and the only one person I can call Friend. He thinks they ostracize him because we're friendly and he'll inform me of any private rides, so they chose not to invite him, how FU*KING petty is that.

Over the years I have always struggled to ride bicycle, especially with this group for a couple reasons, one, they are extremely strong and focused, also most are younger than me (but that's an excuse I use, when I trained regularly I was just as good), the other important reason for it being a struggle for me is I'm definitely not respected for any of my endeavors to be "one of the guys", they cut me no breaks, but that's pretty much so with most of them, although some do get special treatment and it's deserving.

The whole concept of these people is really a paradox, most of them are (unfortunately) dealing with private issues they and I prefer not to mention in any venue. I on the other hand tend to be VERY open about anything in my life, possibly they fear my courage or just pass me off as a lunatic.

Well guess what, I don't consider myself courageous and I don't know if I ever met anyone who wasn't abnormal, we all have some CRAP or baggage we're dealing with, isn't that normal? I just chose to not care and I'll tell you why I don't care what anyone thinks.

When I was in business I was (metaphorically) screwed every day, did anyone come to my rescue, NO. I had the State and Federal EPA at my door for years and it cost me a small fortune, was anyone there, NO. I sold my business and my lawyer must have set me up and sent a subordinate who knew nothing about the deal and allowed the buyers to dictate the terms, was anyone there, NO. And I don't even want to get into my and my wife's heath issues is anyone there to help, even with advise, NO. So why the FU*K would I care what anyone thinks about what makes me happy.

One other BIG issue I have as long as I'm on this tirade, I don't mind being used as a "dart board" for people making comments that anyone else would consider "fighting words", I just accept it as part of my payment for associating with this group. BUT, when I made a joking comment to one person about his rude and unkind gesture towards a woman being overweight riding a bike as we passed her, he came back and physically accosted me. Oh sure, I could have done a few things, I could have tried to physically addressed it (and probably lost), I could or should have called the cops (right, any pussy could do that and where would that go), or I could have tried to mitigate it as I tried (even though I did nothing wrong) but my gestures were rejected, if this was Hollywood I would have been considered a HERO, but my life ain't no movie so I've learned to accept pain and my little hell I live in.

 JUST don't reject the other guy because he's friends with me.

Last Night Out as Lou

I rarely go out as Lou for Karaoke, but last night was one of them, and Lou doesn't like to sing, but he did "Singing in the Rain" last night.




I went up to the bar for our beverages and I'm next to a person who has seen be at the restaurant as long as we've been going there, about 1 1/2 years. He usually (intentionally) avoids and any eye contact or conversation with me. Last night he, apparently felt more comfortable starting a conversation with me.



The first thing was he offered seasons greetings and a hand shake, a good ice breaker, then he said, "I really don't get the whole Louise thing". I said the easiest way for me to try and explain it, it's just a low self esteem condition that I deal with by altering the way I look, it has nothing to do with anything else. We said a few other things all contrite and as I left we shook hands again and hugged each other and as left friends
.
About a half hour later I walked around the bar (as I mentioned I like to talk with people). I came up on 2 ladies who have known me for a few years from the old place we went before the storm Sandy took it. The older and smaller one usually isn't very talkative with me. Last night she had to let me have it. She said, I don't know why, but I just LOVE you, you're always smiling, you're so happy you make me smile, you're contagious and I'm so happy to know you, thank you. Holly Mackerel from just a casual hello for years to all that, I was really taken back, remember I'm the one with the low self esteem, I'm the one looking for people to accept and in 30 minuets 2 people are complimenting and thanking me for letting them into my life, I'm the one who is confused now.




It's been my experience for the past 18 years of cross-dressing and meeting every type of person from all walks of life, that most people view me as a "train wreck" at first, not sure what to do, how to react, if to do anything at all, but one thing everyone has in common, they are drawn to want to know me. They see that I'm not a threat. Maybe not the first time, but after they see me a few times they just have to start talking with me to see WTF I am all about. What would cause someone to take the time, risk their safety, look so comfortable, and appear so happy in doing something that most people would rather jump off the Brooklyn Bridge instead of being caught cross-dressing.




Maybe it's because of the Christmas season.

Friday night at the Anchorage

Normally (if anything in my life is normal), I go out en-fem to a local "straight" restaurant/lounge nearby. The eclectic array or clientele (all straight as far as I know) are VERY accepting of me.

Two weeks ago I got cleaned up to go out but when my wife got home she was feeling very poorly. She has some type of middle ear condition and to test her they blew air into her ears for a balance test, well it worked, she became way out of balance and had terrible vertigo, the only remedy is time and rest.

I was so bored I figured I would venture out as Lou in "Drab", but a little androgynous. I usually wear women's jeans and some type of women's blouse or spandex top and jacket, I included a pair of women's riding boots this night too.

I like to cruse the bar just to see who's there and sometimes get into a conversation, being retired can be a little boring at times especially if you no longer have nearby or close friends, so meeting people in a social setting at least can occupy your time and with no commitment.

As I was walking towards 2 lady's sitting at a "high top" table, one girl exclaims her interest in my boots, well I knew she wanted to start a conversation and I replied that I liked her boyish hair cut. I thought it was a compliment because I really do like the androgynous look on some women, she said, so you're saying I look like a boy! I replied, well maybe you think I'm gay because of my boots. We went back and forth for about an hour breaking each others balls. She also noticed my nails so I gave her one of my Louise business cards.

It turns out they both work at Ancora State Mental Hospital as nurses, as you can see from the picture, the one with the short hair had to check to see if I was nuts, or is that if I had nuts.

Now for the bad, so many things

My wife was told she has a thyroid condition, usually not a big deal, but then we're not like most people, in fact one of my teachers had nick named me "BLACK CLOUD LOUIE" referencing a comic strip character by Al Capp in Li'l Abner "Joe Bfstplk" (that's the characters name).

She had a doctor do a biopsy on her, about a half hour after the second one, she started to feel nauseous and dizzy, this has gone on for 3 months. Last week she had a brain scan and is going for an audiology test next week. 3 doctors and no one can figure out what's going on.

Then I've had a set back with my eye. Seven years ago this week (Thanks Giving Week) I formed a blood clot in one eye from dehydration while racing bicycle in the woods. We ride so hard for 2-21/2 hours I can only take one or 2 sips of water, well it caught up with me, some people have strokes from dehydration and die, sometimes I wonder if I wouldn't have been better off in the later scenario. Anyway I was getting injections once a month in the eye ball to treat the condition. My Doctor felt we could go for 2 months and then the last time we went for 3 months, guess what, I'm back to square one after 7 years of this torture, I compare it to being in a NAZI concentration camp.

And now for the last "death blow". I had developed a "special" friendship about 8 years ago. I always new it was some what tentative, but figured due to my willingness to satisfy the other party by traveling to them weekly for the past 6 years or so, just to share special situations and once in awhile go to lunch and I also just about begged he and his wife to go out to dinner with us, to no avail. I've been dropped all together. One example was for months I asked them to visit to go out for dinner, the answer was, to busy, no sitter and so on. OK, I respect that and even though it would be my treat, some people don't want to take advantage, I even offered ordering to my home, which we finally did a couple weeks ago at his home, the first time we were invited up for about 5 years.
But last week, he posted a message in his group about going out for the night, would you think he would sent me an email in case I missed the message, would you think a phone call, no, nothing, and then today he posts a Craig's List message with his pictures in VERY provocative poses. I had seen it coming, after years of having hundreds of employees I had developed a 6 th sense I can tell when someone is being obscure, it was like an open book. I guess it's just nature. like with me, I can't lie, I don't know why, but if I try to lie It's like I'm blaring out loud LIAR.

For me, my feelings (no matter morally right or wrong) were/are shattered like a broken glass. I am so devastated I just don't know how to react or what way to go. I hope I'm strong enough to survive, but when I look in retrospect at the way my life has always been and now again being so abused by someone I developed such a deep feeling for, I just don't know what life is all about. I am so sad and broken hearted, I even had left him very well off in my will more than he knew. I just saw at how much of a struggle he is having, not broke, but I wanted him to have a safer car and to be able to live more comfortably, he would have had anything he needed. I'm a giver, I always have been, and am able to share much more than he could have worked for the rest of his life, I guess I'm not worth it.

I'm as far from religion as you can be, if there's a god, he has chosen me to be an example of how he can punish a person, the only reason (I feel) he keeps me alive is to toy with me and see where my breaking point is, I think it's pretty close now. I'm sick with grief, if I die now it won't be to soon.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference
 

Interesting Happings 2

This past Friday I again went to my local hangout, but it was dead, so I ventured over to Margate to a local hot spot and that was dead too. I finally went back to Somers Point to another place I usually have dinner at.This place was jamming.

I was able to find a seat at the bar and ordered some chicken tenders and a glass of wine. There as a 40's guy sitting one stool away from me, but I think he got nervous and walked away. A couple walked in and took then 4 seats next to me. A girl (42 she told me) sat next to me, very attractive but with (I think) breast implants, I prefer flat chested women.

She was going between a conversation (sort of) between the guy and her texting, I find that impolite, but everyone does it now. She finally turned to me and said, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to have my back to you. I said, well you're with your boyfriend so I understand, she said, Oh, he's not my BF, we're just friends. Well I was pretty glad about that, this guy was built like a tank, he must workout 8 hours a day 4 days a week.

She asks me if I used to go to the beach on a curtain street in Margate, I said yes, but that was like 12+ years ago when I still had my business. I asked how did you recognize me, she said your calves. I had to laugh, who the hell remembers someones calves. Mine (aren't big, but my wife says they're very shapely.

We talked for about an hour and a half, she told me a lot about herself, nice girl and very polite. As I left I apologized to her friend for monopolizing her, he said it was fine, I think I would have been upset if it happened to me.

Interesting happings

I'll start with the good and then post a separate posting of the bad.

Two Friday's ago I went out to my local haunt, I did my social hello's with people who know me and seem comfortable with "Louise", but I don't like to hang around them very long unless they insist, I feel that some people may feel I'm a pest or that the person I'm talking with might be too interested in me, so I give them room.

I was sitting at the bar checking out some dancers (I can't dance and admire those who can) and also a few of the lady's. I noticed a group of 4 women who looked late 30's to early 40's at a table. Two were standing and 2 seated, one was VERY attractive and built. She had skin tight jeans on and a nice figure. Even though I like to cross dress, I'm very attracted to pretty women, but in either of my personas they usually want nothing to do with me, although, many like to talk with "Louise".

It was getting late and I started to walk out and the really pretty girl was now sitting towards my direction. As I walked passed her he intentionally made eye contact with me and made a comment about me leaving early, it seemed as if she wanted a conversation so I stopped and said "thanks for speaking to me, I have to say I noticed you and think you're beautiful". Well I guess everyone likes to be flattered.

We got into a conversation and she told me she's been divorced 7 years and can't meet a man, in fact, I just bought this outfit today for a date tonight, but it didn't work out. I said, I think most men are threatened by you, you're so beautiful they might be afraid you wouldn't like them or they couldn't live up to your expectations.She then paid me a compliment, she said, I really thought you were a woman until we started to talk.

I have to admit, I was taken by her beauty and politeness, but I would definitely not be able to satisfy her needs unless I did it by leaving her a big insurance policy and dying the next day.

This Weekend 11 9 13

 

 

I didn't go out Friday or Saturday as Louise, I guess I'm a little depressed because I think I've lost a special friend.

I decided to go out Sunday somewhat androgynous, that's not very easy for me because of my muscular build, but I only wear female jeans, tops and shoes even though they look close to a males clothing, only they're more form fitting. I know one person who will wear women's clothes and high heels in his male persona but has a woman's body so he does confuse people.

This weekend I added to my ensemble a pair of high heel woman's boots, I think I looked good. My wife and I went into the local Greek restaurant that is usually packed when we get there. I love the way the two owners (sisters) crack a smile when they see me walk in, they know that people are going to stare so they usually walk us past as many people as possible, like putting me on display which I love.

The one sister will usually come back or wait till were done eating and describe who was staring and their reactions, it really is humorous the way people will react to something differant. I have to admit, I would too and depending on how they looked I'd probably introduce myself if I felt attracted. She couldn't wait to tell us about the foursome in the last booth and how the lady's mouth dropped to the floor, the owner had a hard time trying to contain herself because the woman was so animate in her reaction. I love pushing the envelope.

From there we went to the local (small) Thrift Shop, I found a nice Zebra print jacket. One lady stopped me and asked if I had remembered her from High school (oh sure like yesterday), people really change so I had no idea who she was. She said we weren't friends in school be she always was checking me out, she seemed a little introverted but I guess when she saw me she needed to say something.

From there we went to Sam's club, my wife wasn't feeling well so I went in alone, I was concerned about her, she hasn't been well for a few months, so I just picked up a couple things and was out.

From there we went up to Manahawkin to shop at Costco, which I usually do on Thursdays, but my "friend" asked us to stop for dinner Sunday so we killed to birds with one stone. It was a good day and I was glad my friend asked us up, Millie had a good time at their home.

Monday was a going away party for two men who had come from California and went to work as managers at the Rams Hear, a high end restaurant and developed "Out at The Inn" on Mondays nights. It became a very popular upscale event for the local and even people who traveled from Central Jersey and the Philly area. Most people we're business or professional types or in the Hospitality fields. The bottom line it was something safe, clean and well attended and open to anyone without any fear. It's really a sad note for this area to lose something that was so popular.

I guess my benefit has been able to integrate with the local (so called) straight community that I feel welcome anywhere I go. I have to give my wife credit for that, she was my support by risking her own reputation and safety by being my "backup" and support helping me to put a legitimate face on what makes me happy and showing true love, most couples would have broken up.

Sunday at the Corvette Show

My wife and I went out to Smithville Village in Smithville, NJ this Sunday, they were having a Corvette competition.

I was never really a Corvette person, although that was my profession and I was one of the better Techs at the time, although I'm sure there were some better than me.

One person who I knew from years ago was Dewey Powell, I would have to say he was a genus engineer but self taught. I can tell you from being in the trade longer than many people are old, I've seen a lot of good auto mechanics and this guy was in a league of his own.

If you Google Dewey Powell and Squid 4 wheel drive Corvette you'll see his creation. This guy was very interesting, I'm not exactly sure of his age, I think around 75, but he has a Clint Eastwood look and demure, never gets over excited, hardly smiles and is very serous all the time, a very deep person.

I went over to him and mentioned my name, because I was dressed as Louise and asked if he remembered me, he said sure he never mentioned, asked, commented on my persona, we had a short conversation, I introduced him to my wife. He was a total gentleman.

This guy was born and raised in Ocean City, NJ, an ultra conservative Blue Law, dry city. He (in my opinion) is a free thinker, not only an exceptional and creative mechanic but also non judgemental.

Anyway, the show was pretty good, there were all types of Vettes there, my favorites were from 1954 and 1/2 through 1961 or 62 before they started with the Stingrays. I would venture to say they're were around 800+ corvettes there, some were stock some modified with different year engines or accessories  and paint jobs. It was a great day for the show and a great turn out too. I highly recommend it.

I forgot to mention, as we finished looking at "Squid" and I was stepping off the sidewalk to walk with my wife, a person (about 40 ish and heavy set) says very distinctly "hello Lady". I impulsively put my arm around my wife's shoulder to indicate I was with someone and hopefully he would back off. My wife said he had been following me for awhile. At least I was noticed and got a polite comment (I guess).

 Dewey

Taken Aback Wednesday 10/16/13

Last Wednesday I went (as Louise) to a Chamber of Commerce event (I belong as Louise to promote my photography). The event was Celebrity Bar Tenders and was held at "Sopia" one of the more affluent restaurants in Margate City, NJ.

 The bartenders included Mayors, Assemblymen (who had actually worked in the trade years ago), some radio hosts and a variety of other locally well known people (I was not included although well known).

 As Louise I like to "work the crowd" and was very well appreciated, a few people actually have become VERY comfortable with me and often approach me voluntarily, I'm sometimes surprised and don't always recognize them out of context. One lady who did this to me must have been very experienced in these circumstances and when she approached me held her hand out and said "hello Louise, I'm Tina LoBiondo", I was overly impressed because I had met her very casually 2 or 3 times in other social settings and was overwhelmed by her recognition since I must have walked by her 4 or 5 times without even giving her notice.

Another person whom I have bumped into at Chamber Mixers (I think), was a stocky guy who through conversation told me he had been in a management position at one of the casinos, I didn't peruse the conversation although he started to press me with questions about my sexuality and I could see, especially after he mentioned I had beautiful eye's, where the conversation might be leading.

One of the Assemblyman's wives also grabbed hold of me and introduced me to her friend and mentioned to her that her husband keeps a picture of him and I on his desk, the picture was taken a few years ago at Tomatoes, next door to Sopia, another very popular location.

On my next encounter was a table of 5 lady's, one who reminded me that we go to the gym together, although she sees me as she's coming into the class as I'm leaving (I meet so many people I don't remember them, but I guess if I knew someone who dressed in unusual attire it would be hard to forget them). She introduced me to her friends and we got into a conversation about why I dress and what I consider myself in the "Alternative Lifestyle". I tried to use a couple comparisons and one was relating someone I never met although I had talked with a couple people who knew her and also some information gardened off the internet, her name is Rachel Harlow, a very famous local from Philly) Transsexual. I had learned (I thought factual) that she was absolutely stunning, owned a night club (bought for her by a "Mob guy") supposedly live in or near New Hope, PA, and from someone who worked with her she had large hands and also had been engaged to Jack Kelly (Grace Kelly's brother) Well most of this was denied by one of the lady's who seemed to be getting angry every time I mentioned something that was intended to be a polite description, because I really was fascinated by Harlow and always wanted to meet her.

 I was almost to the point of asking how she knew so much and just at that point the lady who knows me from the gym said "should we tell him", the lady who was (the know it all) says "I'm her sister", Holly shit, you could have knocked me over. I was absolutely speechless and "Taken Aback". It was an honor to meet her but I was also so embarrassed that I had made a couple of unfounded and ignorant statements, no wonder she was so defensive of her Sister.

I hope I learned my lesson to not speak off the cuff about things I don't have personal knowlage of, I chastise my wife for doing that and I fall into the same trap. I guess its true about gossip "What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth".

 My public apology to anyone I may have offended.

My Life Was Stolen

I hope no one will experience what happened to me this past week. I went to my local bicycle shop to replace my bike saddle. As I took my bike out of my car I always lock it, but at times, because the unlock button is easy to push by accident, especially if you're caring something I may unlock it by accident.

I went into the shop and the owner was nice enough to personally take care of me, the whole possess was about 10 minuets.

I came out of the shop and went to go into my car and noticed EVERYTHING I had in my passenger side was gone, my camera with flash unit and lens, my 2 purses and my camera bag with an telephoto lens all gone. In my hand bag was about 650.00 dollars because I was going to Costco to buy new tires and they only take cash or check, I like to pay cash. All my personal cards, heath insurance, credit cards, drivers licence, EVERYTHING gone. It was as if someone just stabbed me in the heart.

I was some what fortunate that about an hour later the camera bag and one of my hand bags were recovered (minus the cash). The next day around noon I received a call that my wallet with all my ID and credit cards and insurance was found next door behind some stores (minus the cash), I have to say, my ID was more important than the cash. But my camera, lens and flash are gone, about 3000.00 plus the 650.00+ cash and some other personal items that are irreplaceable.

With all the grief, worry, stress and concerns, guess what, no one really gave a shit, but guess what does concern (some) people, the fact that I dress up and become happy. So they can kiss off as far as I'm concerned, there's not much anyone can do, but at least lend some emotional support, just saying if they can help in anyway or making a suggestion as to how to address the strain it put on me. The one person who did voluntarily set the ball rolling as far as canceling accounts and keeping me calm, was my old standby, my wife, what a Mensch she is, and how lucky I am to have someone so supportive in EVERY aspect of my life. She is a HERO in every sense of the word, no wonder I love her.

Singing In The Rain

I've been told not to give up my day job, this proves it

 

Interesting Saturday Night

I went to my usual haunt in Somers Point this Saturday, the place was very busy. As I was leaving around 11:15 a very attractive lady beacons me to her. I went over and she asks if I remembered her from the week before, I must meet about 100 people every time I'm out so it's hard to remember. She said she was trying to dance with me, possibly I was focused on the ladies I was dancing with and just didn't pay attention, but she looked familiar.

She introduced me to her husband, they look mid 40's or so, she asked me to sit on the other side of her and offered to buy me a drink, I attempted to pass it off because I wanted to go home but she insisted. So now I'm obligated to stay there, which was fine, she was very nice and VERY pretty.

As we talked she mentioned she was 6' tall and then told me she had been separated for awhile from her husband at one time and moved in with another guy. It turned out the other guy was a closet CD and for some reason just just loved Cd's, as she was talking with me, she had her hand on my leg and was openly rubbing it (I always wear pantyhose and guess the feel is stimulating).

I was pretty concerned her husband was getting a little up tight, he was not quite as tall as her but I'm only 5'3, she kept buying him beers and telling him they would leave in a few minuets, he kept going out for a smoke. I didn't get out of there till 1:30 and I think she was pretty turned on when she left. The only thing I mentioned was I like to do photography and she would look good in some of my "special" things.

I can't make this stuff up

Last Saturday (Memorial Day weekend) my wife and I went to our karaoke place in Brigantine, NJ. It's a sort of new place for us because the other one was swamped by Hurricane Sandy.

Due to the Holiday I wore my Navy Lt dress jacket with a white skin tight dress. We were sitting at 2 tables pushed together on the dance floor with 2 other couples. Behind my wife there were booths. I was called up to sing, as I was standing by the Mic, I saw a woman come over to my wife from one of the booths to talk with her. After we left, I asked my wife what the woman was talking about, my wife said she asked who the Lady was (meaning me), my wife said "Oh, that's my husband", the lady replied Oh, OK.

Now you have to understand, that my wife is cute but on the heavy set side and due to a recent Para thyroid condition is losing her hair and with the short hair and her body build takes on the image of being on the "Dyke" looking side. So it's very possible that me looking like a female Naval Officer and my wife looking a little on the lesbian side, the lady may have thought we were a gay couple.

I love it.

Little Things Mean a Lot

Under normal circumstances this wouldn't seem like such a big deal, but in my case it was very heartfelt and impressive.

Last week I went to a funeral of a past customer of mine, many of my old customers had followed me between two different locations and because at one time I had a tremendous amount of competition in my neighborhood (they had at least 5 other choices for the same service within a 2 block area), so I tried to be as devoted to them as they were to me.

This happened to be a Jewish service, I'm half Austrian Jew half Italian so a little familure with both services, I much prefer the Jewish customs. As I was walking to my car after the service the ex-partner of the deceased woman's husband who were both Neurosurgeons, put his window down and asked if I was going to the cemetery, I said I'm not sure, he said, come on get in I'll take you and bring you back, we can go to the Shiva afterwards.

OK you ask, what's the big deal, well it's this, just about everyone, including this Doctor who has met me out en-femme knows I'm a Cross Dresser aka Transvestite. He had so much respect for me, so much self confidence in himself, such a mensh (A mensch is someone who is responsible, has a sense of right and wrong and is the sort of person other people look up to), that he had no issue with lowering himself to my level and insist he act as my chauffeur.

It is hard for me to convey how impressed I was with this small act of kindness considering the way most people have treated me as Lou and then to have someone of this persons caliber be so nice to me, it has helped restore my confidence in people. His wife (who is dealing with some illness) was also an example as to the way people treated Lou, but one night when I was out in Margate at a higher end restaurant/lounge, I was taken back by the lady manager to a table where this Doctor his wife and 3 other ex-customers of mine were seated (all Doctors) and she had made her husband get out of his seat to allow me to sit next to her where she put her arm into mine, another statement as to why I am compelled to Cross Dress.

Share Holders Meeting for SJI

Last Friday I went to the share holders meeting at The Mansion in Voorhees, NJ, I've gone for the last 10-12 years as Louise. The meetings used to be closer about 15 miles from me, but the new place is a good hour drive, although it  gives me a chance to go shopping in the area.

The day started at about 6 AM, I ate a small breakfast then showered shaved and did my makeup. I was on the road by 8:30 making sure I'd have time for the 10 AM meeting start. I programed the route into my Tom Tom, which is a little different from the way I usually go but it looked as if I could knock off about 10-15 minuets. I never take the Expressway, but this time I did figuring the time saved and ease driving. I went by the usually road I normally take and then started to get concerned because I wasn't sure where the new route was taking me, so I got off at the next exit. Never the less I got there with just enough time to use the MEN'S room and get a cup of coffee before the meeting started.

As usual, when I walked into the men's room, a gentleman was washing his hands and saw me in the mirror and informed me I was in the wrong room, I thanked him in my Lou voice. After the meeting they serve a buffet  lunch, so I made a sandwich and went into the dinning area. I saw a table with 6 people (10 seat tables) and asked if I could join them, they graciously approved and the one gentleman asked, haven't I seen you at a local restaurant/lounge near where we live, I acknowledged saying that's me, it also relaxed the others if they were concerned. About a minute later the ex Ambassador and Congressman Hughes came over to me to say hello, everyone at the table was very impressed that this person would actually admit to knowing a "cross dresser" and being respectful about it, I was very impressed.

After the meeting I found where a Goodwill Thrift shop was. I started in the skirt isle and happened to see an extremely well built and attractive young Afro-American girl in the same isle, she had a "Brazilian Butt" and was in shin tight leggings. As I just started to go through the rack I saw a little spandex mini dress and handed it to her, she said WOW, thank you, wee that broke the ice. We started talking and looking for clothes for each other and sharing our tastes in clothes. I asked her to try on the skirt so I could take a couple pictures she put on a little modeling show for me right outside the dressing room.

I also had to meet my investment advisor to sing a document, we went to a luncheonette, I had to use the rest room, but I did notice a guy nearby at the deli department, when we left my advisor mentioned the guy was staring at my legs as I walked into the rest room, I mentioned to him, a lot of men do.

The Paradox

A couple weeks ago, I was in the Goodwill Store near me (they're not a charity orginization, if you wern't aware). As I was browsing the womens clothes isles dressed in womans jeans and boots, I notice a very andogynous girl (looked like a boy) who was browsing the mens department.

The New Karoke Place

My wife and I are going to a different place for Karaoke since the other place was wiped out by Hurricane Sandy, it's the second time there last Saturday.

 This Saturday it was fairly busy because they were having an Hawaiian night with a free buffet. I needed to use the restroom (I do the men's). I walked to the back of the place and there were 4 guys (late 20's or so) standing like guards just in front of the two restroom doors so I had to walk around the last guy who was in front of the men's room door. As I went to open the door, he turns towards me and says politely "Honey, I think you want the other one", I looked up at him and in my deeper Lou voice said "It's OK I'm a guy". he replied "Oh, sorry".

 

I have a (CD) friend who I consider very critical, he has often told me I pass in public, I usually disagree and prefer my phrase "I present well", I've never been obnoxious or Narcissistic enough to consider myself "passable" and actually have more interesting conversations when I'm "made", but maybe he's right.

Getting gas

Last night (Saturday) was the first night in 2 months my wife was able to go out, she had spent almost 4 weeks in the hospital and about a month trying to recover, besides, the weather has been poor over the last couple weekends and not worth the effort to go out.

We were going down Shore Rd and turn on Delila to go to Brigantine and decided to buy gas at the station there, I was dressed as Louise.

A older very dark with a white beard, Indian (I guess) and looked very Tribal came to our window. I asked him to fill it up with regular, he paused and looked at me and gave me a huge smile and said "oh yes pretty lady". He was busy but came back to top off the car, as I paid him, he said "You come back again, soon" with the biggest smile he could muster. My wife looks at  me and says "OH MY GOD", I said the same thing.

Very amusing to me, but so sad

OK, this may sound a little paradoxical, but most people who have talked with me or followed my Blog posts have to know I (as Lou) have a very low self esteem, that's the reason I dress as Louise.

So the strange part of this little post is:

Last week I found a pair of like new women's riding boots at a Thrift Shop. They fit well although they were very stiff at the ankle area and I wanted to break them in, but I wasn't dressed as Louise. I usually wear women's jeans anyway and the boots have about a 2" stubby 1"x1" tapered heel (like the old Cuban heel style) and the style and shape are like women wear with Jodphors for horse back riding in a Tan color.

I stopped in at the local WAWA for a cup of coffee, the price was 1.07 for the last month and I go in with exact change, when I went to pay, the cashier said the special was over and it went up, I said no problem, I'll get the extra change. I went out to my car and an older gentleman (about 60's) comes up behind me and says, I'll pay for your coffee. He had to be just behind me in line and heard me say I had the money, I wonder why he offered to pay for me (maybe the boots)?

My confusion is, I realize everyone noticed the boots as I walked into WAWA, you have to walk the Gauntlet (so to speak) because the check out counter is where you walk in and every ones heads in unison (like 8 people in line) looked down at them. So was this person affected by the way I was dressed, it had to be, because he never met me before and we had no conversation. Would he have done the same thing if I was just dressed "normally", that is my question and what makes me sad.

The Restaurant

My wife and I go to a Greek restaurant The Windjammer, in Somers Point, NJ most weekends, I do go at times en-fem. This weekend as we were leaving, the two sisters who are owners started to talk with us. The one said, I have a funny story to tell you. One of the servers had seen me and had become attracted to me. Before we left I need to use the restroom and due to the fact I don't consider myself "Transgendered" I'm really not allowed or welcome in the Lady's room, and I don't want to insult or put the restaurant in jeopardy of losing customers, so I respectfully us the men's room. It so happened the server asked the owner why and she informed him I was a male, apparently he was very disappointed.

The other lady owner said I have a story better, one of the servers went into the restroom when I was in the stall. I came out and washed my hands next to him. When he came out he reported to her that a lady was in the men's room.

They, even though being Greek, are very open minded and got the biggest kick out of the responses of their staff and customers. I'm sure they defend me if or when it's needed. That's what I call having character.