My Camera

I put my camera on Craig's List, it was a great camera, but just way more than what I had needed and to heavy to carry around for "point & shoot" photos, besides the new P&S cameras do a great job at 1/4 the cost and weight, and everything is automatic, you can go manual if you want.

So I get contacted by a Pro photographer who says he'll come up and buy it, but the next day, Sunday, he calls to say he couldn't get enough money out of his bank machine due to the limits. The next day he calls and said, look, I can get a brand new one for about the same price. I said OK, I would have liked to sell it to you because you were close and could check it out hands on.

 

I figured I lost the sale so I sent a short message around 11 PM saying, I not only stand behind the camera but I also stand in front of it too and included my picture of me in the red outfit. The next day he called me and said, anyone with the courage and honesty to share that I have to meet and do business with. He was up that afternoon with his wife and bought my camera.

My Horseback Riding Outfit

Last Saturday I went to the House & Garden Show at the Atlantic City Convention Center, I really wanted to try out my new outfit in public, something like an Equestrian look.

It seems a shame that the show had really degraded to being non eventful. There were no garden setups at all that I remember and the Home improvement part used to have some interesting demonstrations and new products for DIYers. I think I took the whole show in about an hour.

Before I left I wanted to hit the restroom, I walked by the lady's room where there was a woman with Muslim type head wear who looked at me as I walked by expressing that I was at the right restroom, I said "no, I need the mensroom" and just walked past and into the men's room. As I entered there was a row of about 8-10 stall doors in front of me and a guy coming out of one, he immediately informed me of being in the wrong restroom (it happens all the time), I said in my Lou voice (which is the same as Louise) "I know". I entered a stall and he went to wash his hands and say "I really thought you were a woman", I replied "I take that as a compliment".

Later that night ,my wife and I went out for Karaoke. I went to the microphone to sing my second song (What a Wonderful World) and 4 or 5 couples got up to dance, as I was about halfway through, a person from the rear of the bar comes walking onto the dance floor, navigating between the couples and stands in front of me staring, I didn't look at him because I was concentrating on the words, but knew what was happening. After I was done the Karaoke host (Mike) said, you really had that guy confused. When I sat down everyone including my wife were laughing about the incident.

I don't try to full myself by thinking I'm anywhere near passing, I just like to say I make a nice presentation.

A Tale of Two Dinners

 

Sunday night I went to a group dinner with some of my cycling colleagues (I find it difficult to call them friends even though we've been together close to 30 years). I really should have knowen better and should have declined the invitation.

The first thing I learned, I was told a time that was about an hour late, so everyone had been seated next to whom they wanted to be with, I was at the far end of the table from at least 2 people I could have had a conversation with, instead I was stuck between 2 homophobes.

Since I was contacted late I had already eaten a late lunch so I wasn't really to hungry and only ordered 2 slices of Pizza, the rest ordered full dinners, this place is not a budget restaurant so I know it must have been 30-45 dollars per person, the one person beside me order 2 half bottles of wine too. When he heard my order he said that's going to be the most expensive Pizza you ever ate, meaning they always like to split the bills evenly, I think they over order so that everyone else has to pay for someone else's over indulgence, I really think that's rude. I threw in 15.00 bucks for my pizza and a coke, fuck them (oops, did I say that?).

After we ate I went down to talk with the 2 guys I'm closer with. I was wearing skin tight jeans, women's riding boots a tweed sports jacket and a ferdora hat, so it was a little like an "Indiana Jones" look. I sat down between one friendlier guy and the organizer of the dinner who always needs to break my chops about everything I do, he starts rubbing my leg asking in a loud tone, how the hell did you get into those jeans, he kept rubbing and finally grabbed with both hands my leg. I had to answer in the same tone of the gesture and said, I have to wet them first so they stretch over my body and then shrink up. I called him the next day (no answer) and left a message that I was suing for sexual harassment. While I think about it, we all wear Lycra/spandex when we ride bicyle.

Interestingly, the night before (Saturday) my wife and I went to an anniversary dinner, we've known this group of people about 5 years through Karaoke, they all know me as Louise and occasionally as Lou, Saturday I was Lou because this was a party for this other couple. The invite was 3 weeks before and we have always been included with all their get together's without any discomfort or negativity from anyone. Also, every couple had separate checks and ours was 40,00 dollars with tip and one glass of wine and no insults and I dressed the same way as the night with the cyclist. Go Figure.

A Humorus Situation

Saturday evening we went to our usually Karaoke place in Brigantine, NJ, St Georges. The place was pretty crowded so we looked towards our usual sitting area to see if our friends had saved seats for us, they waved us over.


Millie went directly over but I usually get "button holed" by some people and for me being accepted is VERY important so I want to talk with them, it only took about 20 minuets before I got to the tables that are pushed together. There was a new couple sitting at our spots but chairs were placed for Millie and I to sit between them and our friends. I of coursed introduced myself to the new people, they were cordial and when I heard them speak it was obvious they were from the south (Bible Belt).


I attempted to have a conversation with the new woman, but I could tell she was somewhat guarded so I backed off rather than make her to uncomfortable. I did introduce Millie as my wife and mentioned how long we've been together so that they would know I was accepted by my wife and not soliciting anything ulterior.


As we were leaving and saying our good nights, the woman said to me, I'm a Baptist and I've never met anyone like you, I don't judge people but I just didn't know how to react but you seem like a very nice person, I thanked her and said we come here most Saturdays so possibly we'll see you again. She said we have a business nearby and we're her permanently and I've sang all my life so we will be back, she did sound great and seems to be competition for my wife.


THE NEXT DAY


Sundays my wife and I go to breakfast in Somers Point, we got there late this Sunday and I mentioned to my wife, I have a whole new group of people to break in, only because (I think) I dress in an androgynous way, I don't look fem by any stretch but I wear women's jeans, jacket and women's horse back riding boots so I really draw attention. As my wife walked into the restaurant an elderly gentleman (89 he told me) was walking to his car next to me and noticed my outfit, he asked if I rode horses, I laughed and said no, I introduced myself and he just wanted to talk about my boots. He was with his daughter (middle aged), he kept pressing about my boots, I said I'll give you my card if you don't get upset, I handed it to him and he said WOW, that's the most excited I've been in 30 years, his daughter said he'll show that to everyone in the rest home.


As I go into the restaurant to locate my wife, I'm again stopped by another older guy (84), I like to ask ages. Turns out he was connected to the Philly mob in a vicarious way due to the nature of his business. We also had some mutual acquaintances  because he was now retired in Longport and I had a lot of customers from there. He had also asked if I rode horses and I gave him my card too. I thought he would be rude and direct, but instead he said he was going to invite me to a party. To be honest, I have been invited to quite a few parties, but if everyone who said they would did, I'd never have a free night.


So finally, after 20 minuets again I get to sit with Millie, the waiters had to bring a warm cup of coffee and Millie asked, what happened to me?


We just finish ordering our food when the couple we met the night before is seated next to us, I ask Millie if they were the people we met and she confirmed. I said I have to break "balls", so I go to their booth and stand there staring at them, the lady looks at me in a thinking way, do I know this person, her husband looks at me for a few seconds and say's OMG and leans over and tells his wife "It's Louise" from last night. The Lady jumps out of her seat and grabs me in a bear hug and kisses me, what a reaction. After we ate they asked us to sit with them and just talk.


I love the reactions.

The Ultra Conservative at the Anchorage Restaurant Last Night

I went out as Lou last night for a snack, my wife chose not to go with me and it was so cold I didn't feel like dressing up.


As I entered the bar area I didn't recognize anyone and all the seats we taken, although they have another bar in the dinning area, so I sat there nest to an older man.


I like conversation so I brought up a pretty non controversial subject, the weather, the guy went some what ballistic. He said "yeah, that jerk Gore says we're warming and now we're freezing". He started to discuss the Ice Age and other climate changes and that it's just a cycle. Then he starts with being an Ultra conservative and being OK with people of different sexual inclinations but hating the fact that people like Ellen Degeneres push the liberalization issue in his face.


At that point I felt I should keep my mouth shut about my "alter ego", but the owner of the restaurant came over and asked if the guy knew me as Louise, I said Don, please not now. All the time the woman bar tender (I went to school and was in the same business as her father) was looking and shaking her head like saying, I know this guy and he's not going to be nice, so I'm saying nothing.


A couple people walk in who know me and come over to say hi and ask why I'm not dressed and where my wife is, I try to brush it off by saying it's to cold and she had surgery, we have a short conversation and they get seated for dinner. The guy I'm next to asks what people are talking about and I say, you might hit me if I tell you. Of course he says I'd never do that, so I reluctantly give him my card expecting to at least get insulted.


He looks at the card and asks, is that your wife, then turns it over and reads the back, it says "Louise a Female Illusion" and lists that I'm available as a party greater and do photography. He says out load, WOW, that's you, you look great and tells the bar tender to give me a drink (on him) and say's I love it and wants to know how much I charge to be at a party for his brother.


People ask me why I'm compelled to cross-dress, for me it's just being treated the way this "ridged" ultra conservative person was compelled to treat me. After talking with me for about a half hour before I shared my other side, he knew I wasn't off the wall or trying to prove anything, which I guess allowed him to accept "Louise" in a more "LIBERAL" manner, I think I allowed an Ultra Conservative to rethink his opinion about alternative people.

Clancy's Restaurant

This past Friday night I went to another of my favorite hangouts. It was mostly the same people who make me very comfortable just by having normal conversations with me. I think most have finally realized I'm pretty harmless and actually see me as Louise.


I walked around the two bar areas and finally settled next to a couple who are very friendly with me and also another gentleman on my other side who claimed to know me but I had forgotten and didn't recognize. Never the less he was very polite.


I like to look and study people, it's interesting seeing many of the same people who seem to have become social groups in and out of the bar scene and then you see some who tend to be alone all the time. The age and type fit all styles and category's, I'd say 5% are married, some are widowed, many divorced.


As I was scanning the area, I noticed 3 middle aged guys, at least mid/late 40's on the other side of the bar, nothing special and I didn't really recognize them. As I'm talking with the one guy on my left, one of the guys from the other side came over behind me and says "Louise, I met you about a year ago and I was just taken back by you, you are amazing and I am so impressed by you". This guy looked some what like "Bluto" Popeye The sailorman's arch enemy. He was pretty big, very hostile looking, veins popping out of his head and a very short beard, this guy had a lot of stress going on in his life and actually reminded me of myself, as far as the stressed look, before I started to go out cross dressed, but he was about 3 times my size. He stood there almost blubbering about how much he admired me and was amazed at how well I looked, he almost had drool running from the sides of his mouth.


I doubt very much he was really attracted to me, but who knows. I was pretty taken back by all of his compliments and some what afraid to ask if he wanted his picture with me for fear he would have taken that as a gesture of me being attracted to him. I think the next time I do have to ask him though, he was very complimentary and I felt like a heel because he may have felt uneasy asking me.


I find it interesting when I read a lot of posts from other CD's who claim they're passable or looking for some type of intimacy with males but won't venture outside of a gay club because they feel safer in that environment. I guess they just don't understand most gay men are attracted to other men, not men who look like women, straight men are attracted to pretty people and seem not to care what gender they may be.


I have no guilt feelings about my sexuality which (I think) is why I can venture out in public and not be ashamed of being myself in any form I chose.

My Urologist

So last week I had an appointment with my urologist, I got there at 8:30 and there's usually a receptionist, but they've changed their system.

 

As I walked in there was a bank of 4 monitors with 3 patients hovering over them and cursing in frustration. I was somewhat taken back, first time I've encountered that anywhere. Well it looked reasonably simple so I started to follow the prompts until it asked me to swipe my drivers licence, I leave that in the trunk. So I went out to get it and came back in, in the mean time the 3 patients are still dwelling over the machines and now with angry and verbal obscenities and frustrations. I enter my information without a hitch in 15-20 seconds but I get a message back saying I missed my appointment.

 

There's no one in front to ask what's going on so I go back to the exam area, where I asked if I can be helped by a somewhat annoyed nurse (I guess). I tell her what happened and she says, you missed your appointment and have to reschedule, I said I want to see my Dr. NOW, she goes back and brings out the office manager, I tell her I'm not rescheduling and I want to see my Dr., she looks up my name and says OK, he'll see you in 15 min's wait in the waiting area. We go out and I tell her look, that guy is still having trouble and he's been here 30 min's, she offers no help to him.

 

Finally, the guy yells WTF, I missed my appointment, he goes in the back and starts screaming, the best they'll do is schedule him at 9:30, mind you, he probably had an 8:15 appointment and it's now 9:00., He leaves the office pissed off. Two more guys come in and I warn them they should have their credentials before they start, the one guy looks at me like, don't worry, I've done this before, so I shut up. Well after 15 min's he finally gets logged in, he must have been very early, because the manager told me it times out after 10 min's.

 

To top it off, my Dr, wasn't even there and they were going to have a doctors assitant see me, but I finally got to see a Dr. but not mine and all he did was to ask me questions about how I felt and never touched me.

 

I should have recorded this whole scene for "Americas Funniest Video's", it was a real classic. I think it's time to find another Dr., this is the 4 th one in the same office I've seen in about 3 years. Maybe some people enjoy different people fondling their privates and having digital examinations, but I don't.

My (so called) Cycling Friends

I've been aware of monitoring of my Blog by my Cycling group (I intentionally leave out calling them) friends, colleagues, buddies or any other noun, due to their treatment of me and the only one person I can call Friend. He thinks they ostracize him because we're friendly and he'll inform me of any private rides, so they chose not to invite him, how FU*KING petty is that.

Over the years I have always struggled to ride bicycle, especially with this group for a couple reasons, one, they are extremely strong and focused, also most are younger than me (but that's an excuse I use, when I trained regularly I was just as good), the other important reason for it being a struggle for me is I'm definitely not respected for any of my endeavors to be "one of the guys", they cut me no breaks, but that's pretty much so with most of them, although some do get special treatment and it's deserving.

The whole concept of these people is really a paradox, most of them are (unfortunately) dealing with private issues they and I prefer not to mention in any venue. I on the other hand tend to be VERY open about anything in my life, possibly they fear my courage or just pass me off as a lunatic.

Well guess what, I don't consider myself courageous and I don't know if I ever met anyone who wasn't abnormal, we all have some CRAP or baggage we're dealing with, isn't that normal? I just chose to not care and I'll tell you why I don't care what anyone thinks.

When I was in business I was (metaphorically) screwed every day, did anyone come to my rescue, NO. I had the State and Federal EPA at my door for years and it cost me a small fortune, was anyone there, NO. I sold my business and my lawyer must have set me up and sent a subordinate who knew nothing about the deal and allowed the buyers to dictate the terms, was anyone there, NO. And I don't even want to get into my and my wife's heath issues is anyone there to help, even with advise, NO. So why the FU*K would I care what anyone thinks about what makes me happy.

One other BIG issue I have as long as I'm on this tirade, I don't mind being used as a "dart board" for people making comments that anyone else would consider "fighting words", I just accept it as part of my payment for associating with this group. BUT, when I made a joking comment to one person about his rude and unkind gesture towards a woman being overweight riding a bike as we passed her, he came back and physically accosted me. Oh sure, I could have done a few things, I could have tried to physically addressed it (and probably lost), I could or should have called the cops (right, any pussy could do that and where would that go), or I could have tried to mitigate it as I tried (even though I did nothing wrong) but my gestures were rejected, if this was Hollywood I would have been considered a HERO, but my life ain't no movie so I've learned to accept pain and my little hell I live in.

 JUST don't reject the other guy because he's friends with me.

Last Night Out as Lou

I rarely go out as Lou for Karaoke, but last night was one of them, and Lou doesn't like to sing, but he did "Singing in the Rain" last night.




I went up to the bar for our beverages and I'm next to a person who has seen be at the restaurant as long as we've been going there, about 1 1/2 years. He usually (intentionally) avoids and any eye contact or conversation with me. Last night he, apparently felt more comfortable starting a conversation with me.



The first thing was he offered seasons greetings and a hand shake, a good ice breaker, then he said, "I really don't get the whole Louise thing". I said the easiest way for me to try and explain it, it's just a low self esteem condition that I deal with by altering the way I look, it has nothing to do with anything else. We said a few other things all contrite and as I left we shook hands again and hugged each other and as left friends
.
About a half hour later I walked around the bar (as I mentioned I like to talk with people). I came up on 2 ladies who have known me for a few years from the old place we went before the storm Sandy took it. The older and smaller one usually isn't very talkative with me. Last night she had to let me have it. She said, I don't know why, but I just LOVE you, you're always smiling, you're so happy you make me smile, you're contagious and I'm so happy to know you, thank you. Holly Mackerel from just a casual hello for years to all that, I was really taken back, remember I'm the one with the low self esteem, I'm the one looking for people to accept and in 30 minuets 2 people are complimenting and thanking me for letting them into my life, I'm the one who is confused now.




It's been my experience for the past 18 years of cross-dressing and meeting every type of person from all walks of life, that most people view me as a "train wreck" at first, not sure what to do, how to react, if to do anything at all, but one thing everyone has in common, they are drawn to want to know me. They see that I'm not a threat. Maybe not the first time, but after they see me a few times they just have to start talking with me to see WTF I am all about. What would cause someone to take the time, risk their safety, look so comfortable, and appear so happy in doing something that most people would rather jump off the Brooklyn Bridge instead of being caught cross-dressing.




Maybe it's because of the Christmas season.

Friday night at the Anchorage

Normally (if anything in my life is normal), I go out en-fem to a local "straight" restaurant/lounge nearby. The eclectic array or clientele (all straight as far as I know) are VERY accepting of me.

Two weeks ago I got cleaned up to go out but when my wife got home she was feeling very poorly. She has some type of middle ear condition and to test her they blew air into her ears for a balance test, well it worked, she became way out of balance and had terrible vertigo, the only remedy is time and rest.

I was so bored I figured I would venture out as Lou in "Drab", but a little androgynous. I usually wear women's jeans and some type of women's blouse or spandex top and jacket, I included a pair of women's riding boots this night too.

I like to cruse the bar just to see who's there and sometimes get into a conversation, being retired can be a little boring at times especially if you no longer have nearby or close friends, so meeting people in a social setting at least can occupy your time and with no commitment.

As I was walking towards 2 lady's sitting at a "high top" table, one girl exclaims her interest in my boots, well I knew she wanted to start a conversation and I replied that I liked her boyish hair cut. I thought it was a compliment because I really do like the androgynous look on some women, she said, so you're saying I look like a boy! I replied, well maybe you think I'm gay because of my boots. We went back and forth for about an hour breaking each others balls. She also noticed my nails so I gave her one of my Louise business cards.

It turns out they both work at Ancora State Mental Hospital as nurses, as you can see from the picture, the one with the short hair had to check to see if I was nuts, or is that if I had nuts.

Now for the bad, so many things

My wife was told she has a thyroid condition, usually not a big deal, but then we're not like most people, in fact one of my teachers had nick named me "BLACK CLOUD LOUIE" referencing a comic strip character by Al Capp in Li'l Abner "Joe Bfstplk" (that's the characters name).

She had a doctor do a biopsy on her, about a half hour after the second one, she started to feel nauseous and dizzy, this has gone on for 3 months. Last week she had a brain scan and is going for an audiology test next week. 3 doctors and no one can figure out what's going on.

Then I've had a set back with my eye. Seven years ago this week (Thanks Giving Week) I formed a blood clot in one eye from dehydration while racing bicycle in the woods. We ride so hard for 2-21/2 hours I can only take one or 2 sips of water, well it caught up with me, some people have strokes from dehydration and die, sometimes I wonder if I wouldn't have been better off in the later scenario. Anyway I was getting injections once a month in the eye ball to treat the condition. My Doctor felt we could go for 2 months and then the last time we went for 3 months, guess what, I'm back to square one after 7 years of this torture, I compare it to being in a NAZI concentration camp.

And now for the last "death blow". I had developed a "special" friendship about 8 years ago. I always new it was some what tentative, but figured due to my willingness to satisfy the other party by traveling to them weekly for the past 6 years or so, just to share special situations and once in awhile go to lunch and I also just about begged he and his wife to go out to dinner with us, to no avail. I've been dropped all together. One example was for months I asked them to visit to go out for dinner, the answer was, to busy, no sitter and so on. OK, I respect that and even though it would be my treat, some people don't want to take advantage, I even offered ordering to my home, which we finally did a couple weeks ago at his home, the first time we were invited up for about 5 years.
But last week, he posted a message in his group about going out for the night, would you think he would sent me an email in case I missed the message, would you think a phone call, no, nothing, and then today he posts a Craig's List message with his pictures in VERY provocative poses. I had seen it coming, after years of having hundreds of employees I had developed a 6 th sense I can tell when someone is being obscure, it was like an open book. I guess it's just nature. like with me, I can't lie, I don't know why, but if I try to lie It's like I'm blaring out loud LIAR.

For me, my feelings (no matter morally right or wrong) were/are shattered like a broken glass. I am so devastated I just don't know how to react or what way to go. I hope I'm strong enough to survive, but when I look in retrospect at the way my life has always been and now again being so abused by someone I developed such a deep feeling for, I just don't know what life is all about. I am so sad and broken hearted, I even had left him very well off in my will more than he knew. I just saw at how much of a struggle he is having, not broke, but I wanted him to have a safer car and to be able to live more comfortably, he would have had anything he needed. I'm a giver, I always have been, and am able to share much more than he could have worked for the rest of his life, I guess I'm not worth it.

I'm as far from religion as you can be, if there's a god, he has chosen me to be an example of how he can punish a person, the only reason (I feel) he keeps me alive is to toy with me and see where my breaking point is, I think it's pretty close now. I'm sick with grief, if I die now it won't be to soon.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference
 

Interesting Happings 2

This past Friday I again went to my local hangout, but it was dead, so I ventured over to Margate to a local hot spot and that was dead too. I finally went back to Somers Point to another place I usually have dinner at.This place was jamming.

I was able to find a seat at the bar and ordered some chicken tenders and a glass of wine. There as a 40's guy sitting one stool away from me, but I think he got nervous and walked away. A couple walked in and took then 4 seats next to me. A girl (42 she told me) sat next to me, very attractive but with (I think) breast implants, I prefer flat chested women.

She was going between a conversation (sort of) between the guy and her texting, I find that impolite, but everyone does it now. She finally turned to me and said, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to have my back to you. I said, well you're with your boyfriend so I understand, she said, Oh, he's not my BF, we're just friends. Well I was pretty glad about that, this guy was built like a tank, he must workout 8 hours a day 4 days a week.

She asks me if I used to go to the beach on a curtain street in Margate, I said yes, but that was like 12+ years ago when I still had my business. I asked how did you recognize me, she said your calves. I had to laugh, who the hell remembers someones calves. Mine (aren't big, but my wife says they're very shapely.

We talked for about an hour and a half, she told me a lot about herself, nice girl and very polite. As I left I apologized to her friend for monopolizing her, he said it was fine, I think I would have been upset if it happened to me.

Interesting happings

I'll start with the good and then post a separate posting of the bad.

Two Friday's ago I went out to my local haunt, I did my social hello's with people who know me and seem comfortable with "Louise", but I don't like to hang around them very long unless they insist, I feel that some people may feel I'm a pest or that the person I'm talking with might be too interested in me, so I give them room.

I was sitting at the bar checking out some dancers (I can't dance and admire those who can) and also a few of the lady's. I noticed a group of 4 women who looked late 30's to early 40's at a table. Two were standing and 2 seated, one was VERY attractive and built. She had skin tight jeans on and a nice figure. Even though I like to cross dress, I'm very attracted to pretty women, but in either of my personas they usually want nothing to do with me, although, many like to talk with "Louise".

It was getting late and I started to walk out and the really pretty girl was now sitting towards my direction. As I walked passed her he intentionally made eye contact with me and made a comment about me leaving early, it seemed as if she wanted a conversation so I stopped and said "thanks for speaking to me, I have to say I noticed you and think you're beautiful". Well I guess everyone likes to be flattered.

We got into a conversation and she told me she's been divorced 7 years and can't meet a man, in fact, I just bought this outfit today for a date tonight, but it didn't work out. I said, I think most men are threatened by you, you're so beautiful they might be afraid you wouldn't like them or they couldn't live up to your expectations.She then paid me a compliment, she said, I really thought you were a woman until we started to talk.

I have to admit, I was taken by her beauty and politeness, but I would definitely not be able to satisfy her needs unless I did it by leaving her a big insurance policy and dying the next day.

This Weekend 11 9 13

 

 

I didn't go out Friday or Saturday as Louise, I guess I'm a little depressed because I think I've lost a special friend.

I decided to go out Sunday somewhat androgynous, that's not very easy for me because of my muscular build, but I only wear female jeans, tops and shoes even though they look close to a males clothing, only they're more form fitting. I know one person who will wear women's clothes and high heels in his male persona but has a woman's body so he does confuse people.

This weekend I added to my ensemble a pair of high heel woman's boots, I think I looked good. My wife and I went into the local Greek restaurant that is usually packed when we get there. I love the way the two owners (sisters) crack a smile when they see me walk in, they know that people are going to stare so they usually walk us past as many people as possible, like putting me on display which I love.

The one sister will usually come back or wait till were done eating and describe who was staring and their reactions, it really is humorous the way people will react to something differant. I have to admit, I would too and depending on how they looked I'd probably introduce myself if I felt attracted. She couldn't wait to tell us about the foursome in the last booth and how the lady's mouth dropped to the floor, the owner had a hard time trying to contain herself because the woman was so animate in her reaction. I love pushing the envelope.

From there we went to the local (small) Thrift Shop, I found a nice Zebra print jacket. One lady stopped me and asked if I had remembered her from High school (oh sure like yesterday), people really change so I had no idea who she was. She said we weren't friends in school be she always was checking me out, she seemed a little introverted but I guess when she saw me she needed to say something.

From there we went to Sam's club, my wife wasn't feeling well so I went in alone, I was concerned about her, she hasn't been well for a few months, so I just picked up a couple things and was out.

From there we went up to Manahawkin to shop at Costco, which I usually do on Thursdays, but my "friend" asked us to stop for dinner Sunday so we killed to birds with one stone. It was a good day and I was glad my friend asked us up, Millie had a good time at their home.

Monday was a going away party for two men who had come from California and went to work as managers at the Rams Hear, a high end restaurant and developed "Out at The Inn" on Mondays nights. It became a very popular upscale event for the local and even people who traveled from Central Jersey and the Philly area. Most people we're business or professional types or in the Hospitality fields. The bottom line it was something safe, clean and well attended and open to anyone without any fear. It's really a sad note for this area to lose something that was so popular.

I guess my benefit has been able to integrate with the local (so called) straight community that I feel welcome anywhere I go. I have to give my wife credit for that, she was my support by risking her own reputation and safety by being my "backup" and support helping me to put a legitimate face on what makes me happy and showing true love, most couples would have broken up.

Sunday at the Corvette Show

My wife and I went out to Smithville Village in Smithville, NJ this Sunday, they were having a Corvette competition.

I was never really a Corvette person, although that was my profession and I was one of the better Techs at the time, although I'm sure there were some better than me.

One person who I knew from years ago was Dewey Powell, I would have to say he was a genus engineer but self taught. I can tell you from being in the trade longer than many people are old, I've seen a lot of good auto mechanics and this guy was in a league of his own.

If you Google Dewey Powell and Squid 4 wheel drive Corvette you'll see his creation. This guy was very interesting, I'm not exactly sure of his age, I think around 75, but he has a Clint Eastwood look and demure, never gets over excited, hardly smiles and is very serous all the time, a very deep person.

I went over to him and mentioned my name, because I was dressed as Louise and asked if he remembered me, he said sure he never mentioned, asked, commented on my persona, we had a short conversation, I introduced him to my wife. He was a total gentleman.

This guy was born and raised in Ocean City, NJ, an ultra conservative Blue Law, dry city. He (in my opinion) is a free thinker, not only an exceptional and creative mechanic but also non judgemental.

Anyway, the show was pretty good, there were all types of Vettes there, my favorites were from 1954 and 1/2 through 1961 or 62 before they started with the Stingrays. I would venture to say they're were around 800+ corvettes there, some were stock some modified with different year engines or accessories  and paint jobs. It was a great day for the show and a great turn out too. I highly recommend it.

I forgot to mention, as we finished looking at "Squid" and I was stepping off the sidewalk to walk with my wife, a person (about 40 ish and heavy set) says very distinctly "hello Lady". I impulsively put my arm around my wife's shoulder to indicate I was with someone and hopefully he would back off. My wife said he had been following me for awhile. At least I was noticed and got a polite comment (I guess).

 Dewey

Taken Aback Wednesday 10/16/13

Last Wednesday I went (as Louise) to a Chamber of Commerce event (I belong as Louise to promote my photography). The event was Celebrity Bar Tenders and was held at "Sopia" one of the more affluent restaurants in Margate City, NJ.

 The bartenders included Mayors, Assemblymen (who had actually worked in the trade years ago), some radio hosts and a variety of other locally well known people (I was not included although well known).

 As Louise I like to "work the crowd" and was very well appreciated, a few people actually have become VERY comfortable with me and often approach me voluntarily, I'm sometimes surprised and don't always recognize them out of context. One lady who did this to me must have been very experienced in these circumstances and when she approached me held her hand out and said "hello Louise, I'm Tina LoBiondo", I was overly impressed because I had met her very casually 2 or 3 times in other social settings and was overwhelmed by her recognition since I must have walked by her 4 or 5 times without even giving her notice.

Another person whom I have bumped into at Chamber Mixers (I think), was a stocky guy who through conversation told me he had been in a management position at one of the casinos, I didn't peruse the conversation although he started to press me with questions about my sexuality and I could see, especially after he mentioned I had beautiful eye's, where the conversation might be leading.

One of the Assemblyman's wives also grabbed hold of me and introduced me to her friend and mentioned to her that her husband keeps a picture of him and I on his desk, the picture was taken a few years ago at Tomatoes, next door to Sopia, another very popular location.

On my next encounter was a table of 5 lady's, one who reminded me that we go to the gym together, although she sees me as she's coming into the class as I'm leaving (I meet so many people I don't remember them, but I guess if I knew someone who dressed in unusual attire it would be hard to forget them). She introduced me to her friends and we got into a conversation about why I dress and what I consider myself in the "Alternative Lifestyle". I tried to use a couple comparisons and one was relating someone I never met although I had talked with a couple people who knew her and also some information gardened off the internet, her name is Rachel Harlow, a very famous local from Philly) Transsexual. I had learned (I thought factual) that she was absolutely stunning, owned a night club (bought for her by a "Mob guy") supposedly live in or near New Hope, PA, and from someone who worked with her she had large hands and also had been engaged to Jack Kelly (Grace Kelly's brother) Well most of this was denied by one of the lady's who seemed to be getting angry every time I mentioned something that was intended to be a polite description, because I really was fascinated by Harlow and always wanted to meet her.

 I was almost to the point of asking how she knew so much and just at that point the lady who knows me from the gym said "should we tell him", the lady who was (the know it all) says "I'm her sister", Holly shit, you could have knocked me over. I was absolutely speechless and "Taken Aback". It was an honor to meet her but I was also so embarrassed that I had made a couple of unfounded and ignorant statements, no wonder she was so defensive of her Sister.

I hope I learned my lesson to not speak off the cuff about things I don't have personal knowlage of, I chastise my wife for doing that and I fall into the same trap. I guess its true about gossip "What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth".

 My public apology to anyone I may have offended.

My Life Was Stolen

I hope no one will experience what happened to me this past week. I went to my local bicycle shop to replace my bike saddle. As I took my bike out of my car I always lock it, but at times, because the unlock button is easy to push by accident, especially if you're caring something I may unlock it by accident.

I went into the shop and the owner was nice enough to personally take care of me, the whole possess was about 10 minuets.

I came out of the shop and went to go into my car and noticed EVERYTHING I had in my passenger side was gone, my camera with flash unit and lens, my 2 purses and my camera bag with an telephoto lens all gone. In my hand bag was about 650.00 dollars because I was going to Costco to buy new tires and they only take cash or check, I like to pay cash. All my personal cards, heath insurance, credit cards, drivers licence, EVERYTHING gone. It was as if someone just stabbed me in the heart.

I was some what fortunate that about an hour later the camera bag and one of my hand bags were recovered (minus the cash). The next day around noon I received a call that my wallet with all my ID and credit cards and insurance was found next door behind some stores (minus the cash), I have to say, my ID was more important than the cash. But my camera, lens and flash are gone, about 3000.00 plus the 650.00+ cash and some other personal items that are irreplaceable.

With all the grief, worry, stress and concerns, guess what, no one really gave a shit, but guess what does concern (some) people, the fact that I dress up and become happy. So they can kiss off as far as I'm concerned, there's not much anyone can do, but at least lend some emotional support, just saying if they can help in anyway or making a suggestion as to how to address the strain it put on me. The one person who did voluntarily set the ball rolling as far as canceling accounts and keeping me calm, was my old standby, my wife, what a Mensch she is, and how lucky I am to have someone so supportive in EVERY aspect of my life. She is a HERO in every sense of the word, no wonder I love her.

Singing In The Rain

I've been told not to give up my day job, this proves it

 

Interesting Saturday Night

I went to my usual haunt in Somers Point this Saturday, the place was very busy. As I was leaving around 11:15 a very attractive lady beacons me to her. I went over and she asks if I remembered her from the week before, I must meet about 100 people every time I'm out so it's hard to remember. She said she was trying to dance with me, possibly I was focused on the ladies I was dancing with and just didn't pay attention, but she looked familiar.

She introduced me to her husband, they look mid 40's or so, she asked me to sit on the other side of her and offered to buy me a drink, I attempted to pass it off because I wanted to go home but she insisted. So now I'm obligated to stay there, which was fine, she was very nice and VERY pretty.

As we talked she mentioned she was 6' tall and then told me she had been separated for awhile from her husband at one time and moved in with another guy. It turned out the other guy was a closet CD and for some reason just just loved Cd's, as she was talking with me, she had her hand on my leg and was openly rubbing it (I always wear pantyhose and guess the feel is stimulating).

I was pretty concerned her husband was getting a little up tight, he was not quite as tall as her but I'm only 5'3, she kept buying him beers and telling him they would leave in a few minuets, he kept going out for a smoke. I didn't get out of there till 1:30 and I think she was pretty turned on when she left. The only thing I mentioned was I like to do photography and she would look good in some of my "special" things.