Another day in Philly

Doctor's, what an obnoxious bunch. I originally made an appointment with a specialist but it took about a month because he was coming home from vacation the day before I went to see him, that was about 10 days ago. He scheduled my surgery for 3 weeks, guess what, he canceled because he's going away again.

The scheduler likes me and is trying to arrange another surgeon who is more dependable and maybe better, so I had to do preoperative checkups yesterday and followed the schedule as if I'm doing the surgery as scheduled.

The Lab used initials to call people because some names are to difficult to pronounce but they have a general description of the patient, age and sex. The nurse calls me and I'm sitting right by her entrance and I acknowledge her, she looks and calls again (just like last week with the other nurse), she gives me a once over and says "Louis", yes I am. She was really nice, we talked more than she checked me out, she really thought I was a woman when she called me. she was nice lady.

Afterwards I wanted to get something to eat and walk South St, but it was very slushy. I stopped in a shoe store to see about a pair of boots, even though my feet are small they're wide and nothing fit. The sales girl was Chinese and very curious about me, she said she used to dress and make up her boy friend so he could sneak in her dorm, she said he was very thin and passed, thin young usually does.

Since I was in Philly I called one of my friends I race bike with and picked him up on the corner by his shop, we went to his home and just pored a wine when his wife came in, she knows all about Louise. We talked and I finished my drink and snacks and was off to home. Very tiring day with little done according to my notes as to what shopping I wanted to do, but I'll be back again.

Doctors Visit in Philly

Last Monday I had a doctors appointment in Philly, if just so happen the Epicurean group I belong to was having their dinner that night and Millie and I like to go to a piano lounge Monday night also.

I always go dress to the Epicurean and lounge and knew I wouldn't have time in between the Dr appointment and dinner to dress so I dressed early.

We got into the doctors office at our scheduled time and we're sitting in the waiting room after I filled out the tons of paper work you need now before anyone even sees you. The nurse came out and called me by my first name "Louis" my wife and I acknowledged her by nodding but before I could stand she called for "Louis" again, I said I'm "Louis" and again she called for me, I finally was all the way up and stood in front of her and said "I'm Louis". She looked with a surprising expression and said OK, follow me. We went into the smallest exam room I ever saw, my wife could come with me because of the size. The nurse asked me to sit and turned and look into my eyes and said "I'm confused are a man or a woman" I said I'm a male, she replied "and you're here with your mother", well needless to say I started to laugh, I said she's my wife. She only got more confused, her last statement was you look terrific.

After my examination my wife came into help my hook up my body briefer straps and I told her what the nurse asked, Millie went out and stood with her arms across her chest and said "I'm his mother!". the nurse was at a loss for words and Millie started to laugh which allowed the nurse to laugh too.

The picture is at the Epicurean dinner with my wife and a friend, her husband Love's me and just retired from the State Police.

Millie & the Drag Queen Daily News Reporter

Last Thursday morning 1/21/10 my wife (Millie) received a frantic phone call from a friend who is helping to bring back the Miss'D America Pageant back. The Miss'D America is a parody by gay men that is held the day after the real pageant that Atlantic City lost to Los Vegas.

The problem was the person who was supposed the do the makeup bailed out and this News reporter was coming from Philly to help promote the event by allowing himself to be turned into a DQ.

I decided I wanted to be dressed so it was a mad rush to get myself ready and then throw what we felt we needed into a bag with 6 wigs and clothes for someone we had no idea what they looked like. I asked a shoe size and said they'd need to buy some 12 woman's.

We had no idea what to expect, it turned out there were about 15 spectators, a video camera and photographer watching my wife shave down the VERY hairy man and then turn him into a woman. It took her about an hour and a half and she did one hell of a job.

I can't post pictures till after the 27Th when it's all publish in the Philadelphia Daily News, but I may just post the link for press article and video.

A day in NYC

Last Sunday my wife and I went to NYC to see "Hair", our son gave us tickets for Christmas.

We parked in West NY right on River Dr on the Jersey side of the Hudson and took the bus to Port Authority. I needed a restroom and remembered that Port Authority does not fall under NYC rules as far as TG/CD people using the restroom of their gender expression so I used the men's room. All the stalls were in use and the room was divided between the sinks and stalls and urinals. I waited by the sink area near the entrance. A tall guy came in, I don't know if he noticed me or not but he sorta turned his back towards me at the first urinal to pee, a moment later a cherub looking person came in with a ruddy complexion, he started to pee and looked towards me and said "you know this is the men's room" I replied with my deep male voice "don't worry about it, but thanks for the compliment". the other guys shoulders were shaking because he was laughing so hard.

The weather was pretty bad and about a half hour after we got out of the bus station it started to rain. We stopped to eat and watched a pizza twirling show, this guy punched the dough a few times and thew it up 2-3 times and made a perfectly round shell. The whole process took less than 1 1/2 minuets.

By now it was almost pouring and I needed an umbrella, well it's NYC so there were umbrella sales people walking the streets, 5 bucks did the trick.

The play started at 3 PM, we were about 15 minuets early so were lucky to be in the vestibule out of the weather. Our seats were all the way up, about 6 rows from the back of the balcony, we could see but between the location and story I doubt I'd ever pay that much for tickets.

After the play we had dinner and then caught the bus back to Jersey. We got to the car by 8 PM, called our kid to make sure Louise would be welcome and drove about 1 mile to his home.

Our Grand Daughter was still awake when we walked in, when she saw me she said "Pop Pop, you have new hair", she sat on my lap and played with my necklace and asked where I got it, I told her her Na Na gave it to me for Christmas. It's amazing to see how accepting kids are before some adult who should know better poisons their minds with "Holly rhetoric".

I'm the Walmart Cell Phone Advertisement

I shop at Walmart evey few months as Louise. The last time I was there the gentleman who has the cell phone concession asked if he could have his picture with me. Not that I have a aversion for the front side of the lens I accepted his invitation, I figured he had a boring job and the least I could do were to put a smile on his face.

This past Sunday he told me he had posted the picture on his Face Book account, I asked what the responses were . To my surprise the worse one was about the size of my hands.

To me it just shows that if you present right and people are not dealing with on site peer pressure most people will act or speak the way they really feel. He sent me the picture yesterday and I just needed to post it.

Kiss on the lips at a Semi Red Neck bar

I don't often go into this bar because it's mostly younger people who are mostly trades men (pickup truck types), and rather than expose myself to ridicule or someones Bravado, I just by pass the place by.

Friday I went in after about a year and was greeted by a few woman who had never met me before but became interested in my persona. One woman was a Philadelphia Detective who was there with a girl friend. A big guy who looked very "Red Neck" turned out to be a newly sworn in counsel man and ex prosecutor who also happens to rent an office above a lawyer I ride bike with. He said he had heard of me but never met me. He was a total gentleman. Goes to show you you can't tell a book by it's cover.

I like to walk around when I'm in a lounge and over in a corner were a few people I knew for years as Louise, they're like groupie's. The one person who is like the leader and VERY straight grabbed me and kissed me right on the lips. I was really taken by surprise especially him being with about 10 of his close friends.

My comment to him was, Bob, you never kissed me before..................in public. It was funny.

Camera Club

Last Wednesday I went to my Camera Club meeting as Louise, I've done that about 6-7 times. One of the interesting things I've noticed about this club is there's a large membership but only a core group of about 10 people who always show and the others including myself seem to come and go.

Last Wednesday when I came to the meeting more than half the 30 people had never seen nor met Louise, but the ones who had welcomed me so warmly it made it much easier for the new people to be comfortable with me, so much so that one woman seemed to be more than just conversational and wanted to do my makeup for me.

An old Classmate

A few weeks ago I went to a local lounge where an old classmate of mine was. This guy made it REALLY BIG time. He supplies most of all the casino's in the world with equipment. His father was also the German #2 boxer in the world during the second world war, but Hitler wouldn't allow him to compete because of his nationality.

The first time my friend saw my picture he was a little apprehensive, about 2 years later he saw me at an Epicurean dinner, but even though we acknowledged each other I didn't want to hang around him because I could feel he was still uncomfortable. The last time it was at a mixed lounge, he was with his wife and he waved me over. We had a nice conversation and hopefully he's more at ease.

I asked if he wanted his picture with me and he accepted so here he is.

Chrismas & New Year

For Christmas we went to a local restaurant to socialize, it was a good time and it was one of the patrons birthday so I had to give him a nice birthday kiss.

New Years eve my wife suggested we stay local due to freezing rain, we had been invited to a friends home about 30 miles away, but she didn't want me driving even if I weren't drinking.

The restaurant is a very straight environment (well 75% anyway). It was a fun night and lots of pictures were taken.

I think I hold my own to the best looking "real" girls.

An observation.

I've notice, due to being out so often or going to (recently) a alternative Lounge that a lot of Gay women seem to be very attracted to Cd's, I'm not just saying accepting, I mean attracted to the point they want to make out and would probably be intimate.

I asked myself why is that and it seems to be a simple answer. Women must see us as women and don't consider or feel as if we're really males. I applied this reasoning to males who seem more attracted to us than they would be another male. Men just see us (in some cases) as attractive women and even though in many cases know we're men, just can't resist being attracted.

Just an observation in my experiences, I'm sure many men would want to hurt us too, so don't use my experiences to act out some fantasy and try to pass yourself off for what you're not.

Louise

My eye doctor

About 3 years ago (a week before Thanks Giving) I suffered an ocular occlusion (blood clot) in one eye due to dehydration from racing bike off road (in the woods). I had to go to an ocular specialist in Philly.

My doctor turned out to be a very qualified Middle Eastern Indian, he seemed obviously gay especially when he had me roll my sleeve up for a dye injection and noticing the size and condition of my arm he said "Oh you're a manly man", my wife and I cracked up.

I felt he was out and would appreciate our acceptance by sharing a picture of Louise.

Last week I was out on a Monday when he services patients in my area so I figured I'd drop into his office and share Louise in the flesh.

Two of the nurses didn't recognize me a third one did, the doctor was in his office and when he came out he was really stunned, he has known me 3 years and seen a few of my pictures since. All I can say is it was a good thing he has his Lab coat on, I saw some movement.

One of my quotes is "I turn straight men gay and gay me straight"

Louise

A letter to my Son

Yesterday I was out early because I had some chores and shopping to do , I like to go out as "Louise". The first thing on the list was a blood test to confirm Gout in my big toe (great) I feel like I'm turning into your mother.

As I swung out of the seat of my car I saw your Uncle Bill coming out of the Labatory door, I called out to him and he looked my way and squinted as if he wasn't sure who I was and started to walk towards me in a questioning way trying to remember who I was. As he got to the back of my car I got out with my umbrella and said "you don't recognize your own brother" he said "not in a getup like that I don't", it was truly a "Kodak Moment".

I asked what was going on, he was trying to be reserve and said "nothing", I said in an authoritative Louise tone, lets have the truth and he had to share it with me. Not a big issue, he's just concerned, it's a little like the condition I have with my bladder, it must run in our family line, so stock up on extra diapers now while they're cheep, in 20-25 years they'll be 10-20 times more.

Say hi to everyone for us, you've got a great little family, I'm proud of you.

Love Dad

Stockton State Collage

Monday night I was introduced to a department director from Stockton State Collage, I was of course Louise. It was at a gay venue and it was fairly obvious that he was gay. We only spoke for a moment and he invited me to a presentation the collage was having the next night, Tuesday.

Since it was about Cd's and Transitioning I went as Louise (why not). It was fairly interesting but I didn't feel very informative. The first speaker was a professor who could have been a closet CD, he had a full beard and was about 6'3 or so. As he was reading from his prepared notes he took his shirt off and then pull the rest of a long dress out of his pants. He then read another half page of document and walked out. The next speaker is a director of some Trans Gendered group and only discussed the fact that 175 Trans sexuals were murdered last year, I regret that, but I don't know why he was presenting those facts to a group of mostly gay and accepting collage students, the director and I concurred on that. The third speaker was a young lady who is in the processes of becoming another Chasity Bono and was even built like her.

It was something to do that night, but I came away with nothing other than confirming, we come in many flavors and I still have no idea what Transsexuals think they'er going to accomplish with the need for the physical change. I've read about it, discussed it with people who seem to know what their talking about, but in my case, I've just never met one TS who was really happy with the final decision.

Maybe it's me!

The Thrift Shop

As most Wednesday's I visit the local thrift Shop this day as Louise , I do so about every 2-3 months en femme. Please bear with my monologue to the end.

Going back about a year ago, I had some how gotten into a conversation with a woman who at first seem very nice. Most likely the conversation occurred because I was in the woman's department looking at women's blazers.

As usual I opened my big mouth and shared Louise, I always feel or think people will automatically be accepting. She took me by surprise and sort of embarrassed me by saying "you find anything in this place" it was a back handed insult and I didn't forget it. After that I avoided her, I do have to say, I probably surprised her too by sharing my other side when I was Lou, most people just can't picture me en femme even if I show them my pictures which I always carry.

The interesting thing here is, this woman and I see each other every week, even though we no longer acknowledge each other we're aware of the others presence. The Wednesday before last I went shopping as Louise, as I passed an isle she was at the end of, she looked up and said "hi, how are you" I just said fine thanks. I figured she recognized me and was trying to be polite. This past Wednesday (I was Lou) we happened to be next to each other in an isle and I said, so you finally saw my other side, she said "what do you mean" I said I was the little blond you said hello to last week. She was totally stunned, she had no idea and started to rave about how I looked, she was so proud to have seen me as Louise she asked if I has a picture with me so she could show the cashier and her daughter, she treated me as if I were a celebrity.

As I've mentioned over and over, people do take you by the way you look. Most times I know people have a low opinion of me as Lou, but once I present as Louise, it's night and day.

One of my quoits is "If we were all blind, there would be no wars", it's a metaphor, but one I use to express my life as Louise.

I am Louise

Catching up

I really don't know if anyone reads my Blog, but it's a good diary anyway.

I've been very busy over the last few weeks. As you may have seen from my last post I'm into photography, not that I'm good or know what I'm doing but it keeps me active and I have what I call and hope close friend I love photo, besides my grand daughters.

I had gone to NYC on a Saturday and the Monday after I went to a Photoshop seminar in Philly, which I've been to before (as Louise) and again with the same doctor as I did Saturday in NYC. No we have absolutely nothing going on, he has as much interest in Cd's as I do in men, NON.

We took the bus (my wife Millie dropped us off at the bus stop) and got to Philly about 9:30 Am which gave us time to stop at Penn Terminal a great food place with many Amish farmers who are food vendors there. We picked up some snacks and coffee and headed over to the Philly convention center right across the street.

Everything was pretty non eventful, either because I looked OK or no one cared. About 11 we had a break and I wanted to be comfortable so I headed for the restroom, since the seminar was dominated by men, there was a line to get in the rest room. I was standing in the men's line (contrary to many peoples thoughts men in a dress use the men's room), when the gentleman in front of me turned and said politely "the lady's room is over there" I replied in my Lou voice, my voice is as deep as yours. He was sorta taken back and then said he was friends with a State Legislator who was going to vote on the TG/CD restroom issue and was undecided what way to vote, he then thought about walking into a men's room where some guy was standing in front of a urinal with his dress raised over his hips, that was enough to vote against our rights.

Wednesday I had gone out as Louise, I wanted to make a few stops one at my local bike shop to drop some flyer's off. The owner who has known me for years and knows all about Louise and has the same mentality as the other guys I race with turned and saw me dressed for the first time. The first words out of his moth was "are you here to sell advertising" it seems that he miss took me for an advertising lady who stops there for their Ad business. As rude as he usually is to Lou turned it around and was nice towards Louise, so I think I got a gold star from him.

That afternoon I stopped at my wife's store and then went next door to a small thrift shop. I was looking around and there was a (I think) Asian or Philippine lady dressed in something like nursing greens. She picked up a dress and said, I thing this would look nice on you and then picked out a couple other things. To my surprise I thought they could work too even though they were much different than my normal style. So I purchase them and had good results from people who know me and critique me.

My Day in NYC

If you know me, I can make a long story MUCH longer, so here goes.

I like photography and because I have time on my hands I can indulge in my hobby to attend seminars or events as the one this weekend. I also tend to want to share what I have or can afford to give to someone and the ulterior motive is I like to meet other people if possible. I did offer the ticket to a very close CD friend who is very interested in photography also and it would have been fun for the both of us to go together, but she declined the offer with some excuse, I know if you wanted to she could have, and yes it makes me hurt a little. I even posted the offer in a Yahoo group I belong to but the monitor of the group removed it even though she allows people to post provocative and sexually orientated messages, I met her once and she feels my wife and I are competition to her business even though we're about 4-5 hours travel from her so called business, what a jerk. I finally interested my eye doctor because his father had got him interested in photography years ago and due to his profession he leaned to that direction.

I mentioned to him I would be Louise for the day, I thought that could discourage him, but he knows me both ways and I admire him for his courage in accepting my invitation.

An interesting thing did happen as we were walking down 42 ND and 8 Th, I recognized a married couple who were customers of mine for years, he's a very prominent local attorney and his wife. I stopped them, he didn't recognize me at first but his wife recognized my voice and addressed me by name, she also said I really thought you were a woman. She wanted me to give my wife a message, she said years ago my wife had told her to save her own money and because of my wife's advice she was able to buy her own apartment in Philadelphia.

So my wife drove over to his home and drove us both to the AC bus stop, we were just in time for the 10 AM, which got us into the city about 1 PM. I was in between rain but we walked about 5 blocks to the Javits Center. My friend is about 6'2 and I'm 5'3 I was just about running to keep up with him. When we checked in and got into the Hall I took my sweater off, I was soaked.

The show was much better this year and very well attended, I'm not sure if anyone even noticed me as a CD or even cared. We spent about 4 hours at the show and then went to dinner at an Irish Pub. All in all it was a nice day but not very eventful,

On the way back the bus stopped in Toms River and I was very thirsty from the Pastrami sandwich I had for dinner, my friend tried to buy one out of the machine but you guessed it, it was out. I tend t be a non believer so I went out and tried, I was there about 1-2 minutes and the bus driver was calling me sweety, we have to go.

We were both beat by the time we got home, it was a long day.

Louise Buys a New Bike

Last Wednesday I received my new "Louise Credit Card". Since I had been considering a new bike I decided to give the Bike shop that is about 20 miles from me a shot at the sale because they were always nice to me, I rarely had bought anything more that 20 bucks from them but they were always appreciative and they do know me in both persona's.

I picked out a bike I felt was what I needed the price was 3600.00, pretty much mid level for a race bike, The owner said let me call the factory rep (who I know also) and see what I can do for you. To coin a phrase "I was offered a deal I couldn't refuse". I should have mentioned, I was Louise while making the purchase, I asked for no special treatment but I did expect maybe a 10% adjustment, what I got was $100.00 over cost and that included assembly. My old shop I had been pretty much exclusive with for 25 years may have offered 10% discount if I bartered with them.

I had done a lot of business with the store I raced for, they have lost most of my business and the people who know me, trust and value my opinon of the type bike to ride and where to go for good treatment, you can bet I will not malign my old shops reputation, I will just direct potential costumers to the other shop. The bottom line is that in many cases (unfortunately) we are judged by looks and how we present ourselves or (as in the case of my local old shop) if someone who has their own issues and wants to malign your character, the new shop was not infected by that peer pressure as was the one near me, shame on them.

Situations this week

Friday I decided to get my nails done, it's a new salon for me but I went a couple weeks before because I wanted to see my wife as she was having hers done. I had mine done also and my wife informed the technician I was a cross dresser, he wasn't surprised about cross dressers since he had some in Atlantic City he worked on. I shared a few of my pictures because it's hard to imagine Lou as someone who Cd's, he seemed to be impressed.

My wife called on Friday morning and made my appointment, so it wasn't as if "Louise" was going in cold turkey so to speak. I was a few minuets late, which is fashionable for me and he was taking care of someone else, but he looked up to see who came in. The shop owner said "Oh, you're Millie's husband, he then said with a stunned expression on his face "OMG, I didn't recognize you, you're stunning", I said I did show you my pictures, but I guess in person I look different.

That evening I went to a sort of up scale restaurant/lounge, where they had a 4 piece group with a female vocalist who was singing lounge music. It was the type environment that if you want to act sophisticated you listen and no one speaks, then everyone applauds whether the singer was good or bad. After she was done with her song I went up the stairs and crossed the room where about 5-6 large tables that seat about 10 people were located and into the bar area. I no sooner ordered a drink when a lady came in and addressed me as Louise and asked if I would mind sitting with them when I came into the polar where the music was. I went over to the entrance and another woman I've known for years who is a lesbian stood up and addressed me also, and whispered she was there with her church group, as if she didn't want me to embarrass her by recognizing her, I just6 said, you can introduce me to them (I put her on a spot) so that's what she did. The only male there asked me if my business was in Margate and said he was the person I would talk with when I ordered parts from his shop. A woman introduced me to her husband then asked me to sit next to her, we chatted on and off between the music for about 20+ minuets and she mention she and the singer were vocalists at the church, I said my wife was also at her church. Well her reaction was some what startled, she said "Your wife" I said yes, she said you're married to a woman, I said why not, I'm just a cross dresser, she said I thought you were a woman.

I'll leave the rest for another post, Louise

Sunday Doctors office

Sunday because of the rain I didn't ride bike which I was happy about due to needed rest from my day before and evening going out as Louise.

I dressed early and my wife and I went to breakfast and then headed over to our doctors office, he operates a clinic and is open Sundays, but we're regular patients, he has other staff to handle walkin's.

The receptionist and patients usually get a kick out of seeing me, either because I look good or most likely they make me out as a guy.

We were brought into one of the exam rooms and after a short wait the doctor came in and knowing me as Louise from one other appointment about 2 years ago politely greeted us and gave me a big smile.

Both my wife and I get injections so he took us to another area and after taking care of my wife asked me to take my place on the table. I sat on the edge and dropped my top, he looked at me with the syringe in his hand and said "I don't know where to start", with a big smile on his face".

As we were leaving I thanked him and he said, you know, you have beautiful eye's, I thanked him and then he said (and trust me this guy is straight and professional) "I'm really confused, I feel as if I.m talking to Marilyn Monroe. I've had a lot of nice things said to me, but coming from him it was one of the nicest, after all he knows Lou too.

My first Triathlon

The significance of this is, I was the oldest Competitor

I'm usually used to very high paced bike races but I wanted to do something a little easier this past weekend. What a surprise. I was taken completely off guard. First off I was confused about the staging area and the loop, I signed in and then drove over to the Police station which was next to the park where the race began and ended. I had brought my running shoes with me but left them in the car, I never did one of these before and had no idea of the itinerary or protocol.

I sorta took my time getting my bike together and not noticing anyone else around me so I didn't realize the time of the start, I really thought they took your number and time as you went off and then finished for an individual time, but it was a group start. I got to the start line with about 1 minuet to spare.

Since I didn't study the map of the course and get lost going around my corner anyway I figured I'd stay a few bike lengths behind and just follow. I was pretty impressed with the few guys in front of me, they were kicking butt. As we went through some tight corners I had lost sight of them and (you guessed it) I made 2 wrong turns. I did manage to get back in third but lost a bit of time and had exhausted myself, the bike was a 6 mile sprint and I had no warm up.

I reached the Kayak area and saw 3-4 bikes hanging on transitioning racks, I ran to the water front in my cycling cleats where my rented Kayak was, never doing Kayaking before I didn't even know how to put my vest on, I heard someone yell "haven't you ever used a vest" I finally figured it out. I dragged the Kayak into the water about half way because I didn't want to water log my shoes and of course had to shoved myself off the bank with the paddle (I had to be a sight). I was about the 8-10Th in the water by now and as I started to float I was shaking left to right trying to steady the water craft, I said to myself "self, holly crap, I'm going to flip" I hope they have someone to get me. Let me say, never paddling a kayak is an experience, I serpentine back and forth and must have done 5 miles rather than 1 mile, it was windy and a strong current, and me having a bad left shoulder that needs replacement I was 5 minutes out before my shoulder started to hurt me and I thought I was going to have to bail, people were passing me and I was running into everyone like they do with doggem cars on the boardwalk.

I think I was maybe 10-15 from the last person out of the water. As I got out I had no idea what to do or go next, I saw a few people standing nearby, one seemed to have been in one of the events because he had cycling shoes in his hand. I asked where do I go, he said you run that way, then he said "do you have running shoes, you can't run in cycling shoes" I said yeah, in my car at the Police station. He asked what size I was, we wore the same size, this guy took his shoes off for me and offered them to me, what a great gesture. I asked how do I return them, he told me he would meet me at the finish, which he was, I forgot his last name and wanted to at least buy him lunch.

My total time was 1:31 minuets and some seconds, I was surprised I came in second, I think if I didn't stop and talk to the guy with the shoes for 10 minuets and knew how to kayak a little better I could have won.