Such is Life

I've mentioned that due to my competitive cycling activity, I (and others) have created some self induced physical ailments. One of mine is I had dehydrated a few years ago and created a blood clot in one of my eyes. One of the treatments is to have injections of a serum in that eye, yes, it hurts just like a sharp stick in the eye.
I've been going for treatment to an ocular specialist who claimed that it should have taken about a half dozen treatments but I've been getting an injection for 4 years every two months.
I finally asked another eye professional if there was any other treatment and he suggested a new doctor. Having nothing to lose, I went to the new Dr. and his comments were, "you have developed a tolerance to that serum about 3 years ago and treatment afterwards was useless, you need a different drug".
He then started treatment after taking pictures of my retina and showed me what the issue was and what he wanted to achieve. That was about 2 months ago, I just went again this Monday and he took pictures before the second injection and showed me there had been a dramatic improvement, he says I may only need 3-4 more injections but I may not regain the lost vision because it has been too long.
The lesson is, if you're not seeing an improvement after a reasonable period, get 2-3-4 second opinion's, you never know what someone else may have experienced or has had positive results with.

Thursday night

Since I was already dressed as Louise, I decided to go out for the evening to a local restaurant/lounge, it was fairly busy but I found a seat at the bar. I ordered a drink and with it the bar tender put up a glass that someone bought a drink for me. As I was watching TV the person sitting next to me started a conversation about the golf game we were viewing and mentioned he hated golf, tried it and gave it up, I mentioned I had the same experience, but loved to watch it on TV.
I saw a woman who resembled someone I went to school with and approached her to ask if we were old classmates, she said she had gone to school in NY, but she was the spitting image of my old classmate. I went back to my seat and she came over a moment later, she said, someone just told me who you were, we were your old neighbors who moved a few years ago, she didn't recognize me either.
A couple then sat next to me, the woman looked familiar to me also and I asked where she was from, she told me she worked at a restaurant in Longport and it turned out I knew her employer and they do resemble eachother, who also went to the same aerobics class I did, she bought me a drink too. By the time I got home I had to go to bed, the bar tenders were generous with their pours to me and 3 drinks are one more than my limit anyway.
I was very impressed by my acceptance in this place, I go there very rarely and they always treat me well.

The Chamber of Commerce luncheon

This past Thursday I went to a Chamber of Commerce luncheon at the Atlantic City Country Club, as Louise. The main speaker and invited guest was the CEO of Verizon and most of the other guests were public officials, lawyers and bank representatives.
I was sitting at a table with some bank representatives and the County executive was talking with a couple local lawyers, as he scanned the room he saw me (he was my son's teacher in HS and my brother was also a high county official), he blew a double handed kiss towards me. Everyone saw it and laughed, I blew a kiss back.
One of my old customers (a lawyer) was walking by the table and I called out to him, he put his arms out for me to come to him and hugged me and said out loud "LOUISE HUNNY" and kissed me.
I must admit I think it takes more courage for people to be accepting in public to someone like me, especially if they are well known, because, as we all know, many people tend to be afraid of being considered "Guilty by Association", I admire these gentlemen and others like them.

The Thrift Shop

Last Wednesday I went to the thrift shop, as I was browsing one of the isles with a Zebra print dress and a couple other items in my arms, an older lady (around 85) said, you have good taste in clothes, your wife must really trust you pick things out for her. That's all I needed to start a conversation, I heard her accent and asked if she were from Poland and she confirmed that, I said my mother was too. I then took out one of my older business cards where I'm knelling on my bed and showed her. She said, your wife is very pretty, I said she is, but this picture is of me. To my surprise, she said I've been through a lot of experiences in my life and if that makes you happy then do it. Then she asked me to carry her basket of clothes to the dressing room area.

The Hospital

A few weeks ago my wife had her knee replaced, it was a few days before the Memorial day weekend. We were asked to attend the barbecue celebration party, I came as Louise.
Interestingly no one made any comments other than the public relations coordinator. She asked if I had ever considered going to public schools to discuss with kids about the "cross dressing" lifestyle. My reply was that I would love to do that, but because I'm not trained as a professional and may make a misstatement and set someone off on the wrong direction, I felt it would be inappropriate, possibly if it were more on a one to one basis with the child's parents present and a pre conversation with them about their concerns, I would be more comfortable.
I've found that people who are just average and are given a (metaphorical) "badge" can carry a lot of weight, I don't want to have a guilty conscious if I were to direct someone incorrectly because they trusted my opinion and I was wrong.

The Nail Salon

My nail guy is going back to Vietnam to see his ailing mother, he's a really nice guy but has been taken advantage of lately, it's a little personal and I really feel bad about the way he's been treated, besides business is terrible for him so I've tried to be a loyal customer.
With that said, I have to find a new salon so I asked someone about another local salon and tried them last week. The lady who owns the shop (Vietnamese) was very nice and was curious as to why I wanted my nails done with Gel (I went in as Lou) so I shared my pictures, she seemed to be amused and of course asked the normal questions.
About 2 days later (Friday) half of them had broken, I did notice they were very thin and really not the right length. I usually dress on Friday and wanted to visit my wife in the hospital. After going to the hospital I stopped at the nail salon, the lady recognized me immediately and welcomed me in, I showed her my nails and she apologized and renewed the complete set without charge. All the time she had to keep glancing at me and smiling behind her mask. When she was done she said "I really like you much more this way" and gave me a big hug and kiss on my lips. She's VERY attractive, married and built very well.
I think I found a new nail salon.

A rough day for Lou Wednesday 5/18/2011

This Blog is about Lou & Millie.

Millie (my wife) was scheduled for a knee replacement Friday but was called in early, I had scheduled an eye appointment for the same morning and had to reschedule for the same afternoon. Millie was admitted into the hospital at 8:45 AM and by 11:30 she had a new knee (results are pending as far as recovery). My son had come down from NNJ in order to give his mother moral support. I remained with her till about 3 PM so I could run home, feed and let out our 2 dogs and make it over to my eye appointment, with the intent of returning to the hospital about 6 PM to see my son off and spend a little more time with my wife.

To my surprise, the eye doctor was not impressed with the way I was being treated by the person who had been giving me injections into my eye over the last 4 years, yes I get injections right into my eye ball every 2 months for 4 years, figure it out, 48 injections and trust me, they hurt like hell and take me down for a full day.

After taking my background he decided that I may have become resistant to the serum that was being used and wanted to try the other one (there are only 2 serums for this condition) the one is covered by insurance and is about 50-75 dollars for the serum, the other is 2000.00, the difference is one is specific for eye treatment and the other was developed for women's breast cancer, but was found to be effective for the eye too.

I mentioned my insurance coverage and he said (the more expensive treatment) was now covered and if they didn't cover me he would not charge me. I have to ask everyone, did you ever hear of a doctor volunteering not to charge a patient for treatment, as least now a days, It was my first appointment with this person, it's not as if he had ever met me before, I was very impressed.

Needless to say, my eye hurt like hell, it was 7 PM before I left the eye doctor with no chance of being able to visit my wife, I had all I could do to make it home and take 4 Advil and go to bed with an ice pack on my eye.

Needless to say, I hope I don't have another day like that again. Now I have to hope my wife does well with her recovery.

My surgery

Monday (yesterday) I went in for eyelid surgery, most insurance will cover the procedure if you failed the field of vision test due to safety for lack of peripheral vision.
I had gone to this doctor because another CD friend went to him and was very satisfied. My first visit I had asked about some nose work besides my eyes and he was dead against that. I showed him a picture I had "Photoshopped" as an example, he asked if I had been to a local restaurant lounge a few months earlier and I said yes, he said we met, I can't remember many people so I had to ask what he thought. He seems to be a very professional type and tended to evade the question, almost as if he was uncomfortable with me.
Yesterday I went in for the eye procedure with my wife, she talked with him about what my expectations were and then had to go in the waiting room.
As he started the surgery, he became very talkative (almost as if I were getting a hair cut), he wanted to know when and why I started to cross dress. I was really surprised because I would have thought someone who is a cosmetic surgeon of his prominence would have had many Cd's or TG's as patients, he said I was the only one he ever met, but I know my friend who Cd's too was worked on by him.
I'll see how the procedure turns out, right now I'm pretty swollen up.

Breakfast at McDonalds

Last week I had gone out early and decided to get some breakfast at McDonalds, it's not my normal thing and I was Lou. As I sat down a gentleman a little older than me was walking past my table, I invited him to join me. He seemed very amicable and also wanted some company while eating.
Our conversation ranged from his losing his wife of 40 years a few months earlier to our kids and grand kids, work and so on.
As we were almost done and I had felt comfortable with him I shared my Louise pictures with him, surprisingly (he had been a longshoreman) meaning a no BS type person, he was very accepting. He then told me his son was a NYC cop and his daughter was a NYC detective who was divorced with 2 kids that he looked after. He then said, I was suspicious of my daughters sexual orientation and would beat around the bush asking why she wasn't dating men, she finally said, do you want to know if I'm gay, well I am. See, we all have some baggage, my sharing my femme side with him allowed him to be able to accept his daughters orientation much better. We shook hands and he said he was very happy we had met and I helped him with his loss and his daughers lifestyle. Being a Cross Dresser isn't always a bad thing.

OK beat me up about the black hair

Over the years I have accumulated approximately 50 wigs, about 5 black and 4 auburn/red. I wanted to try my black again. You must realize as with a new hairdo that may be irreversible until it grows in, that in a similar way, once you go out with a new style or color dressed, you're at risk of ridicule.
I felt that I would be reasonably accepted even though it's a drastic change from my blond. Most people were complimentary, and to be honest, they didn't sound patronizing, but I could sense a bit of dislike.
The next week I went out as a blond again, to my surprise about 30-40% of the people who saw me with the black wig preferred it and were upset I went blond again.
My instincts tell me blond is better for me. Although, as a brunette, my money was no good at the 2 lounges I went to, no one would let me pay for my own drinks. Maybe I should reconsider the black again.

Knife & Fork Inn

Monday night I had the pleasure of having dinner at the world famous Knife & Fork Inn of Atlantic City. I had known the previous owner Mack Latz, who by all intents and purpose's was probably one of the most successful and disliked people in the area. He was a customer of mine for many years and very obnoxious, but I never gave him an inch, I find I can have more fun (after getting to know each other) with that type person, but he did treat his immediate family terribly. An example of how I used to break his chops. He had a Jack Russel Terrier, I love little dogs, the dog loved when I used my knuckles to rub his back, he would get so excited he would pee all over the seat, Mack would yell at me not to pet his dog because of it, my answer was I liked the dog better than him, he still came in, I think he respected me for not giving into him. I have to give credit where it's due, Mack gave you a spectacular dinner, in my opinion I had never tasted a better steak although the Dougherty's who own it now are keeping the same standards. I also know the Daugherty's who were also customers of mine and lived in the same apartment complex as my parents did when I was born, my father was a Business manager for the local waiters, waitresses and bar tenders union during the Nucky Johnson era back then and used to supply staff for all the food establishments who were unionized. I* also mentioned previously my brother held the same political appointment as Nucky for 20 years.

An Interesting read http://www.knifeandforkinn.com/aboutus.php

It was also my pleasure to have dinner this time with Tom Laminae who was the Channel 3 Philadelphia TV weather man. I've known Tom since my high school days, when he used to DJ the "Hop" at the YMCA in Atlantic City. I would hear him starting the "where's Tate" chant over the radio as I was driving up Pacific ave to the dance. Well I guess he found out where Tate is now, here's my picture with him.
Louise

Pushing the Androg limits

I never pretend to know or do everything first, so I'll give some of the encouragement I've received not only to my wife but someone I helped come out in public a few years ago, Heather. Heather as Joe looks more male than I although because of her body type if you look from the neck down, he/she definitely has a female body. I on the other hand am very muscular and who knows what goes through peoples minds when they see me trying to push the envelope dressed androgynously.
Today I tried to see what would happen. I usually wear "Gloria Vanderbilt" jeans, but they don't really draw attention other than they fit very good and probably no one knows why unless they see the little swan on the change pocket. Today I wore a pair of tight stretch jeans, definitely form fitting and very femme looking, I also carried a shoulder purse.
First we went to or regular restaurant for breakfast, I know a few people there and went to say Hi. I noticed, especially the women checking me out, because their eye's went to my jeans, I'm not sure if they were staring at them or the "bulge". I went by a booth to go to the restroom where 4 women were sitting, as I approached and passed the lady facing me I could feel her glare, when I came back towards the other ladies, now facing me, she must have clued them in, they were staring too. I wanted to laugh out loud and say something, but I held my composure.
We then went to Sam's and after some other shopping went to a new restaurant for dinner. I left my wife out at the door so she get a spot in line and I parked the car, as I came back one lady was compelled to stop me and tell me not to eat to much because I'd ruin my figure in the jeans, as I got next to the line walking towards my wife I heard a young girl, maybe 12 or so, ask her mother, is that a man or woman. Oh come on, if anything I look like a "Butch Bitch". In side, because it was buffet style I had to make a couple trips for food and got a lot of either jean or crotch stares, mostly women, but also a few guys gave me a big smile. Anyway, I'm sure you get the picture.

I'm not that special

The not so special part is near the end of this post.

Friday night I went to a nearby restaurant/lounge, I didn't want to travel far from home and had been to this place previously. It's a middle aged hang out, mostly married couples who tend to be tolerant but not really interested in CD's (at least I thought).
As I walked in, a very attractive mid 40's woman ran to me and said, hi remember me, I live one street over from you and I'm here with your backyard neighbor. The back yard person knows me pretty well because she's seen me as Louise and I have ridden bike with her and he husband who are both competitive Triathletes. They were all very polite to me, so it was a non issue.
I waved the woman bartender over and ordered my drink which she brought over and waved off my money. My friends had been at the bar most of the evening and paid an 85.00 bar tab, I don't drink that much in a year.
I had seen a couple of people who know me in both persona's and went over and had some general conversations with them, on my way back to my seat on the other side of the bar from the entrance two middle aged men walked in, they started to take a seat on the far side from me and then came over and sat next to me, one told the bar maid to give me another of what I was drinking. Turned out he knows me from my Monday night venue, his friend a nice guy about 6', 240 lbs started asking me about CDing and was curious about dressing himself, I mentioned he would need to shave his beard off.
They ate some appetizers and then left.
Three other people, a young 35 y/o couple and and big Irish man built like a small tank then started to talk with me. Turned out the woman lived down the street from us in Longport a few years ago and her sister went to school with my son, we also had close mutual friends, she was very nice.
Her and her husband left and now the Irish guy who was impressed with my hand shake wanted to try and out grip me, he was pissed he couldn't and keep mentioning at how strong he considered I was. I think he was trying to hit on me.
To regress a moment, as I was talking to the married girl, I noticed a tall looking girl about 25-30 y/o very thin across the bar. She drew my attention because she was quite tall about 6'1 or 6'2 but had a slightly receding hairline, I looked at her fingers which were very long but a little on the thick side as were her wrists, I also notice a thick area where her Adams apple is and realized she had to be a he. I mention this to the young lady I was talking with and she wasn't sure. I asked the Bar maid and she said yes, she's a guy I can introduce you to her. I went over and maybe had a 2-3 minuet conversation with her (I feel it's rude to get into long conversations with people when they're with someone else unless they want to keep me there). She mentioned she had only been dressing a couple years and was on hormone therapy. I thanked her for the conversation and excused myself.
Anyway, I'm no longer exclusive in my area. But I know I'm still the most popular and still told I'm very pretty and some people think I have a strong hand shake. If only your hand shake was an indication of the size and virility, I'd be like Samson, before he lost his hair.

Some Deep Stuff, please read

Trust me, I'm as far from being a philosopher as a person can be, besides that, I can make a short story very long, so please try to follow, if you're interested.
I was going to post a very derogative message here about last week, one of the guys I ride bike with mentioned that he was forwarded my Blog page by a mutual acquaintance. He also mentioned they were having a good laugh over the phone about my "Life as Louise". I don't need to get into a verbal battle, I'd never win anyway, as far as most of the world is concerned I'm wrong because of what I do. But I have fun with it and have found many people who can think for themselves contrary to peer pressure and have come to love the courage I display to be myself.
As Lou, I've always wanted to be taller, stronger, better looking, have friends (that's my main desire) but for some reason was never able to have any of those attributes. I guess when a person or people have never faced so many NATURAL challenges they don't understand the additional struggle a person goes through and what they will do to just be accepted.
As I said, I was going to make this a hostile post, but for some reason, last week and also last night, the guys seemed to be a little nicer to me, for the first time in about 10-12 years since I shared Louise with them, they voluntarily started small conversations with me, I'm still not invited on one of the trips coming up, but just the fact they talked with me brought an emotional feeling to me. Now a second part.
This past Monday I went to the Ram's Head, I've always gone as Louise, quite a few people didn't recognize me and tended to be a little stand offish, even the one who always hugs me and wants a conversation with me. Then my friend Barbara, who I helped come out about 2 1/2 years ago was standing near the bar, I was staring at her feeling sure she'd look at me and laugh, instead she looked over with an expression of "what the hell are you looking at" on her face, I said what's your problem, her jaw dropped, she said "it's the voice" others have said that to me too. She had no idea it was Lou/Louise, she's seen Lou's pictures and known me for over 2 years and still didn't recognize Lou.
She called tonight and said, you know, I always thought you were over stating your comments about being abused, mistreated, disrespected as Lou, now I understand. She reminded me of a few weeks ago when we were having dinner at Good Fellows in Absecon and the owner stopped to talk with us, he asked where I had been and then said, Louise, when you walk in here, you own the place, you're a queen, everyone knows you or wants to. Then Barb said as Lou, your 4 feet tall, as Louise you're 10 feet tall, I really understand you now. How could I not break down.
All I want, as I've repetitively said in my Blog, all I want is to be accepted, I've done all I can, even changed my appearance, risked everything in life to be happy, why must people think it's a perversion, I'm not the one who sees myself as a sexual deviant, it's the way peoples minds and eyes see me that possibly they are the ones who become the deviants and maybe see me as an attractive person. It's funny, there are many fairy tails about dual persona's, one recent one that comes to mind is Shrek, another is one about a handsome prince who was turned into a frog until a princess kissed him, I just can't remember the others right now, but were they considered "sexual deviants, they're metaphors about real life, I just live them for real.
As I've said before "Life is a paradox"
I'm just Lou trying to find happiness through Louise.

Saturday night with my Hero

Saturday evening we were invites to join some friends at a restaurant we hadn't been to. As we walked in and came over to our friends table abut 6 people come over to me who recognized me from my business and also as Louise. I was very surprised at how well I was received in this very straight lounge and by people I hadn't seen in years. A few others came over as the evening progressed probably 15 people in all.
One of my very bad tendency's is I meet so many people but just for a very short time, maybe an hour at most and it's impossible to remember them all. I wish I could develop a way to remember them, I don't want to have people think I'm rude by not remembering who they are. Anyway, it turned out good and I always like when my wife is with me and see's first hand how respectful people are to me. After all she's the one who transformed me and I owe my life and happiness to her, she is definitely my HERO.

One way to piss my wife off

Friday night my wife and I went to dinner at Max's Steak House at the Trump Plaza, have to say it was good, but it was restaurant week so it was half price, our bill came out to 115.00 dollars, so we're not regulars.
After dinner I needed the rest room, it was down the hall. I went into the "Men's Room" yes I could have done the lady's but I'm not that convincing, besides I love the reaction I get from men when I'm in there. As I started to enter there was an older lady sitting waiting for her husband who was in the men's room, she tried to inform me it was the men's room, I said in my Lou voice, it's OK, I have one of those things myself.
I came out of the booth to check my makeup, I needed to touch up my eye's, 3 men about 30-45 seconds apart walked in then saw me and started to excuse themselves, thinking they were in the lady's room and turn to leave, I said it's OK, come in. From my voice they figured I was a guy.
My wife and I had to go down an escalator to the show room, the husband and lady who told me about the rest room was in a wheel chair her husband had parked it near the escalator that my wife was going down, the lady apologized about not realizing I was a guy and then asked if I was with my "MOTHER", I called down to my wife and said hey mom, the lady wants to know if you're my mother, well Millie was a little pissed at me, gee I didn't do anything wrong. I corrected the lady. I told her that was the 5 Th time someone thought my wife was my mother. We just had a very short conversation, it was nice to interact with people who never met someone like me in person, I think, it was a good experience for them.
After the show I was invited by a friend who is a wrestling coach to join him and some friends at the Liquid Bar where he introduced me to a bunch of people.

The Thrift Shop

If I haven't mentioned yet, I usually go to the Thrift Shop in my area about once a week, it does become a compulsion. Most people know me both ways so when they see me "grazing" in the woman's area they just smile and some help find something they think would look nice on me.
I happened to go last week dressed as Louise, I've shown my pictures to an older Irish woman, very Catholic type, she tends to be some what critical but not rude when I show her a new picture, I like doing that for the shock value besides I have nothing to hide anyway. She's only seen my pictures as I said, but last Wednesday I was walking down an isle and she was at the other end, I looked forward and there she was with her mouth wide open. She said, OMG, you really look good, she said I love your hair, I need to get a wig like that. The interesting thing here is, when seeing me as Lou and a picture, she tended to be a little critical or concerned about my mental health, but in person, she was so over whelmed by seeing me in "Real Time" that it all made sense to her.
As I was walking towards the center isle I passed a VERY heavy set woman, the type who had a mustache, she called over to her husband or brother, not sure which because they looked identical, both were around 250-260# about 5'6 tall and both needed a shave. I knew her motive, she made me (I never said I was passable, but I do make a good presentation), they had to do a pass by, it was very obvious to me more so than I am obvious as a cross dresser. So the guy says, what is this country coming to, I couldn't let it go, I answered, hey pal, maybe you and your wife should look in a mirror, and then you may want to try dressing like me. Of course I caught them off guard and the shuffled away.

Lady's Night Out 02/26/11

The LNO in Toms River is a nice venue that is distanced, almost equaly, between Atlantic City and NYC for CD's to experience an evening with other CD's in a straight environment, especially for CD's looking to transition between their "closet" or gay club only venues into how they will be accepted by straight people.This can be a daunting situation without support, I don't think I would have come out of my closet if my wife hadn't given me the support she had.

I don't go to LNO often due to distance and also because I find my interaction in the "traditional" community is more fun for me, besides, I'm not trying to pass myself off (any longer) as a mentor for other CD's, although if someone asks for my help or experiences I will try to keep them from damaging their reputation so they can keep their doors open to go public if they ever want to, hey, we all have our needs and attractions but we have to be adult about it too.

This Saturday I went with a (platonic) friend that my wife and I helped a couple years ago. Because we could share the ride and he/she doesn't get much opportunity to meet other CD's that may be interested in what he's looking for and I have no reservations about that, I've even tried to help him/her with that. First we went to a restaurant we've gone to before. We ordered our meals and the owner stopped by our table to ask me why he hadn't seen me as much as usual. He then said "when you walk in, you own the place" saying that he and everyone else looks forward to seeing me and talking with me. This is a very family orientated establishment, I was very proud of his comments especially in front of my friend, it just proved my philosophy that if you act no differently in your "Alter Ego" as you would in your normal day to day life (most) people shouldn't have an issue with you.

My friend called me the next night and commented about the experience and used the term "your a Rock Star", every where I go with you people come over for you to recognize them, they are proud you know them or they know you. My life was never one anyone would want to have as Lou, but when I'm Louise, it almost seems everyone wants a little bit of me, some want it for reasons that have hurt me too, because when I say, do or offer myself it's done from my heart with no renovations, but the people I have offered the most to have given me the least in return as far as friendship. Possibly they're afraid I want to take some of their spotlight, I only what to offer more of myself to them.

Louise

When you have nothing else to lose

I have put a label on our concerns about "being made" and how the general public will treat or accept us, I call it "THE WHEEL CHAIR EFFECT". Meaning many CD's are not fortunate enough to be passable, so when out people will have a tendency to, elbow, whisper, raise their eyebrows towards you or any thing else to give notice to a companion of what you are. I've discovered that depending on how one presents themselves in any venue will help people to accept and appreciate your openness and honesty.

As a few other CD girls here I am very comfortable in public and am out 2-3 times a week, sometimes with my wife. As a matter of fact my wife and I or myself alone have helped many "girls" go out for their first adventure in public. Not only do I shop, but also share my "Louise" persona with everyone who knows me as Lou.


Saturday night my wife (Millie) and I went to Brigantine to a "Red Neck" joint, it's all locals and most are in the construction field so, they're "manly men". As I came in, there were 2 big guys at the bar with their wives' I assume, the one asked if I had seen the YouTube video of the Brigantine Polar Bear Plunge 2011, I didn't realize it was posted, but I looked it up and there I was with Millie, around the middle of the video. The other fellow reminded me he had removed my gasoline tanks from my service station property a few years ago. The impressive part is here are two big guys well known in this "Red Neck" bar who had the courage to talk with me and treat me with respect.

We went over to a table where a few friends were and behind them were two ladies who obviously notice what I was. As the night progressed the one lady keep smiling towards me, it was my obligation to introduce myself, remember "wheel chair effect". I went over and said hello, I'm Louise. We talked a while and she became so comfortable with me she told me about some very personal family issues, nothing sexual, but about her relationship and unhappiness with her husband and children and all she had done for them and lack of respect she had received in return. The only answer I could give her was.

"When you realize you have nothing left to lose, you will finally do what you want to do to make yourself happy".

CuteLouise

Sometimes I worry to much

Today I went to a Camber of Commerce meeting. Due to the type and direction of this group I've tried to keep my "Louise" persona at home, I just don't feel it's appropriate and besides I don't claim to be "Trans Gendered" I'm only a very open and accepted "Cross Dresser" although some may argue that.

I sat with 2 gentlemen who worked for Comcast and were also into athletics (I used to be a competitive cyclist) so it was an impetus for conversation. As the meeting was getting close to beginning 3 women came to our table and we all introduced ourselves. This group is all about networking businesses and I was asked mine, so I just mentioned I represented my wife's jewelry store.

One of the ladies ask, why do I know you, you look very familiar, the other younger one chimed in and said the same thing. I attempted to just brush it off saying I've been around the area all my life and had owned 4 businesses locally, I just wanted to keep Louise out of the conversation. Then the lady sitting next to me noticed my nails, she said "Oh, now I know who you are", I said, you must know my "alter ego" she nodded and had a huge smirk on her face as if she swallowed a bird. The lady who hadn't said anything now say's, you have to tell us who you are, it's killing us to know.

I said OK, I'm not and entertainer, but I am entertaining, all the time the lady who recognized me is dying to tell them, since the "jig was up" (so to speak), I handed them my business card with my Louise picture on it. To my surprise they had absolutely no issues and one of the Comcast guys said I'll see if I can do something for you on your cable bill. The pretty girl asked me to come to the next meeting dressed, hum, I don't know about that.

Then another interesting conversation with a man and woman. I'm told I'm built pretty good, so the man who was about mid 40's asked me how much I work out, he said he had a personal trainer and would love to be built like me some day, that was very complimentary, I haven't lifted weights since I was 16 but I still ride bike with a race group. The lady who manages 2 local bank branches said her husband is a body builder and also a hair dresser, I asked if his shop was in a nearby location, she said yes, I wonder if she knows he CD's too and has hit on me on the Internet.

As I was leaving the restaurant, there was an older gentleman waiting by the entrance and asked me as we walked out together, what's your profession where everyone was talking to you, at this pint I became a little braver and said I was entertaining and handed him my card, he said, I'm from New Hope, come up sometime. We also have a mutual friend who plays piano.

The lunch was good.