Now for the bad, so many things

My wife was told she has a thyroid condition, usually not a big deal, but then we're not like most people, in fact one of my teachers had nick named me "BLACK CLOUD LOUIE" referencing a comic strip character by Al Capp in Li'l Abner "Joe Bfstplk" (that's the characters name).

She had a doctor do a biopsy on her, about a half hour after the second one, she started to feel nauseous and dizzy, this has gone on for 3 months. Last week she had a brain scan and is going for an audiology test next week. 3 doctors and no one can figure out what's going on.

Then I've had a set back with my eye. Seven years ago this week (Thanks Giving Week) I formed a blood clot in one eye from dehydration while racing bicycle in the woods. We ride so hard for 2-21/2 hours I can only take one or 2 sips of water, well it caught up with me, some people have strokes from dehydration and die, sometimes I wonder if I wouldn't have been better off in the later scenario. Anyway I was getting injections once a month in the eye ball to treat the condition. My Doctor felt we could go for 2 months and then the last time we went for 3 months, guess what, I'm back to square one after 7 years of this torture, I compare it to being in a NAZI concentration camp.

And now for the last "death blow". I had developed a "special" friendship about 8 years ago. I always new it was some what tentative, but figured due to my willingness to satisfy the other party by traveling to them weekly for the past 6 years or so, just to share special situations and once in awhile go to lunch and I also just about begged he and his wife to go out to dinner with us, to no avail. I've been dropped all together. One example was for months I asked them to visit to go out for dinner, the answer was, to busy, no sitter and so on. OK, I respect that and even though it would be my treat, some people don't want to take advantage, I even offered ordering to my home, which we finally did a couple weeks ago at his home, the first time we were invited up for about 5 years.
But last week, he posted a message in his group about going out for the night, would you think he would sent me an email in case I missed the message, would you think a phone call, no, nothing, and then today he posts a Craig's List message with his pictures in VERY provocative poses. I had seen it coming, after years of having hundreds of employees I had developed a 6 th sense I can tell when someone is being obscure, it was like an open book. I guess it's just nature. like with me, I can't lie, I don't know why, but if I try to lie It's like I'm blaring out loud LIAR.

For me, my feelings (no matter morally right or wrong) were/are shattered like a broken glass. I am so devastated I just don't know how to react or what way to go. I hope I'm strong enough to survive, but when I look in retrospect at the way my life has always been and now again being so abused by someone I developed such a deep feeling for, I just don't know what life is all about. I am so sad and broken hearted, I even had left him very well off in my will more than he knew. I just saw at how much of a struggle he is having, not broke, but I wanted him to have a safer car and to be able to live more comfortably, he would have had anything he needed. I'm a giver, I always have been, and am able to share much more than he could have worked for the rest of his life, I guess I'm not worth it.

I'm as far from religion as you can be, if there's a god, he has chosen me to be an example of how he can punish a person, the only reason (I feel) he keeps me alive is to toy with me and see where my breaking point is, I think it's pretty close now. I'm sick with grief, if I die now it won't be to soon.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference
 

Interesting Happings 2

This past Friday I again went to my local hangout, but it was dead, so I ventured over to Margate to a local hot spot and that was dead too. I finally went back to Somers Point to another place I usually have dinner at.This place was jamming.

I was able to find a seat at the bar and ordered some chicken tenders and a glass of wine. There as a 40's guy sitting one stool away from me, but I think he got nervous and walked away. A couple walked in and took then 4 seats next to me. A girl (42 she told me) sat next to me, very attractive but with (I think) breast implants, I prefer flat chested women.

She was going between a conversation (sort of) between the guy and her texting, I find that impolite, but everyone does it now. She finally turned to me and said, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to have my back to you. I said, well you're with your boyfriend so I understand, she said, Oh, he's not my BF, we're just friends. Well I was pretty glad about that, this guy was built like a tank, he must workout 8 hours a day 4 days a week.

She asks me if I used to go to the beach on a curtain street in Margate, I said yes, but that was like 12+ years ago when I still had my business. I asked how did you recognize me, she said your calves. I had to laugh, who the hell remembers someones calves. Mine (aren't big, but my wife says they're very shapely.

We talked for about an hour and a half, she told me a lot about herself, nice girl and very polite. As I left I apologized to her friend for monopolizing her, he said it was fine, I think I would have been upset if it happened to me.

Interesting happings

I'll start with the good and then post a separate posting of the bad.

Two Friday's ago I went out to my local haunt, I did my social hello's with people who know me and seem comfortable with "Louise", but I don't like to hang around them very long unless they insist, I feel that some people may feel I'm a pest or that the person I'm talking with might be too interested in me, so I give them room.

I was sitting at the bar checking out some dancers (I can't dance and admire those who can) and also a few of the lady's. I noticed a group of 4 women who looked late 30's to early 40's at a table. Two were standing and 2 seated, one was VERY attractive and built. She had skin tight jeans on and a nice figure. Even though I like to cross dress, I'm very attracted to pretty women, but in either of my personas they usually want nothing to do with me, although, many like to talk with "Louise".

It was getting late and I started to walk out and the really pretty girl was now sitting towards my direction. As I walked passed her he intentionally made eye contact with me and made a comment about me leaving early, it seemed as if she wanted a conversation so I stopped and said "thanks for speaking to me, I have to say I noticed you and think you're beautiful". Well I guess everyone likes to be flattered.

We got into a conversation and she told me she's been divorced 7 years and can't meet a man, in fact, I just bought this outfit today for a date tonight, but it didn't work out. I said, I think most men are threatened by you, you're so beautiful they might be afraid you wouldn't like them or they couldn't live up to your expectations.She then paid me a compliment, she said, I really thought you were a woman until we started to talk.

I have to admit, I was taken by her beauty and politeness, but I would definitely not be able to satisfy her needs unless I did it by leaving her a big insurance policy and dying the next day.

This Weekend 11 9 13

 

 

I didn't go out Friday or Saturday as Louise, I guess I'm a little depressed because I think I've lost a special friend.

I decided to go out Sunday somewhat androgynous, that's not very easy for me because of my muscular build, but I only wear female jeans, tops and shoes even though they look close to a males clothing, only they're more form fitting. I know one person who will wear women's clothes and high heels in his male persona but has a woman's body so he does confuse people.

This weekend I added to my ensemble a pair of high heel woman's boots, I think I looked good. My wife and I went into the local Greek restaurant that is usually packed when we get there. I love the way the two owners (sisters) crack a smile when they see me walk in, they know that people are going to stare so they usually walk us past as many people as possible, like putting me on display which I love.

The one sister will usually come back or wait till were done eating and describe who was staring and their reactions, it really is humorous the way people will react to something differant. I have to admit, I would too and depending on how they looked I'd probably introduce myself if I felt attracted. She couldn't wait to tell us about the foursome in the last booth and how the lady's mouth dropped to the floor, the owner had a hard time trying to contain herself because the woman was so animate in her reaction. I love pushing the envelope.

From there we went to the local (small) Thrift Shop, I found a nice Zebra print jacket. One lady stopped me and asked if I had remembered her from High school (oh sure like yesterday), people really change so I had no idea who she was. She said we weren't friends in school be she always was checking me out, she seemed a little introverted but I guess when she saw me she needed to say something.

From there we went to Sam's club, my wife wasn't feeling well so I went in alone, I was concerned about her, she hasn't been well for a few months, so I just picked up a couple things and was out.

From there we went up to Manahawkin to shop at Costco, which I usually do on Thursdays, but my "friend" asked us to stop for dinner Sunday so we killed to birds with one stone. It was a good day and I was glad my friend asked us up, Millie had a good time at their home.

Monday was a going away party for two men who had come from California and went to work as managers at the Rams Hear, a high end restaurant and developed "Out at The Inn" on Mondays nights. It became a very popular upscale event for the local and even people who traveled from Central Jersey and the Philly area. Most people we're business or professional types or in the Hospitality fields. The bottom line it was something safe, clean and well attended and open to anyone without any fear. It's really a sad note for this area to lose something that was so popular.

I guess my benefit has been able to integrate with the local (so called) straight community that I feel welcome anywhere I go. I have to give my wife credit for that, she was my support by risking her own reputation and safety by being my "backup" and support helping me to put a legitimate face on what makes me happy and showing true love, most couples would have broken up.

Sunday at the Corvette Show

My wife and I went out to Smithville Village in Smithville, NJ this Sunday, they were having a Corvette competition.

I was never really a Corvette person, although that was my profession and I was one of the better Techs at the time, although I'm sure there were some better than me.

One person who I knew from years ago was Dewey Powell, I would have to say he was a genus engineer but self taught. I can tell you from being in the trade longer than many people are old, I've seen a lot of good auto mechanics and this guy was in a league of his own.

If you Google Dewey Powell and Squid 4 wheel drive Corvette you'll see his creation. This guy was very interesting, I'm not exactly sure of his age, I think around 75, but he has a Clint Eastwood look and demure, never gets over excited, hardly smiles and is very serous all the time, a very deep person.

I went over to him and mentioned my name, because I was dressed as Louise and asked if he remembered me, he said sure he never mentioned, asked, commented on my persona, we had a short conversation, I introduced him to my wife. He was a total gentleman.

This guy was born and raised in Ocean City, NJ, an ultra conservative Blue Law, dry city. He (in my opinion) is a free thinker, not only an exceptional and creative mechanic but also non judgemental.

Anyway, the show was pretty good, there were all types of Vettes there, my favorites were from 1954 and 1/2 through 1961 or 62 before they started with the Stingrays. I would venture to say they're were around 800+ corvettes there, some were stock some modified with different year engines or accessories  and paint jobs. It was a great day for the show and a great turn out too. I highly recommend it.

I forgot to mention, as we finished looking at "Squid" and I was stepping off the sidewalk to walk with my wife, a person (about 40 ish and heavy set) says very distinctly "hello Lady". I impulsively put my arm around my wife's shoulder to indicate I was with someone and hopefully he would back off. My wife said he had been following me for awhile. At least I was noticed and got a polite comment (I guess).

 Dewey

Taken Aback Wednesday 10/16/13

Last Wednesday I went (as Louise) to a Chamber of Commerce event (I belong as Louise to promote my photography). The event was Celebrity Bar Tenders and was held at "Sopia" one of the more affluent restaurants in Margate City, NJ.

 The bartenders included Mayors, Assemblymen (who had actually worked in the trade years ago), some radio hosts and a variety of other locally well known people (I was not included although well known).

 As Louise I like to "work the crowd" and was very well appreciated, a few people actually have become VERY comfortable with me and often approach me voluntarily, I'm sometimes surprised and don't always recognize them out of context. One lady who did this to me must have been very experienced in these circumstances and when she approached me held her hand out and said "hello Louise, I'm Tina LoBiondo", I was overly impressed because I had met her very casually 2 or 3 times in other social settings and was overwhelmed by her recognition since I must have walked by her 4 or 5 times without even giving her notice.

Another person whom I have bumped into at Chamber Mixers (I think), was a stocky guy who through conversation told me he had been in a management position at one of the casinos, I didn't peruse the conversation although he started to press me with questions about my sexuality and I could see, especially after he mentioned I had beautiful eye's, where the conversation might be leading.

One of the Assemblyman's wives also grabbed hold of me and introduced me to her friend and mentioned to her that her husband keeps a picture of him and I on his desk, the picture was taken a few years ago at Tomatoes, next door to Sopia, another very popular location.

On my next encounter was a table of 5 lady's, one who reminded me that we go to the gym together, although she sees me as she's coming into the class as I'm leaving (I meet so many people I don't remember them, but I guess if I knew someone who dressed in unusual attire it would be hard to forget them). She introduced me to her friends and we got into a conversation about why I dress and what I consider myself in the "Alternative Lifestyle". I tried to use a couple comparisons and one was relating someone I never met although I had talked with a couple people who knew her and also some information gardened off the internet, her name is Rachel Harlow, a very famous local from Philly) Transsexual. I had learned (I thought factual) that she was absolutely stunning, owned a night club (bought for her by a "Mob guy") supposedly live in or near New Hope, PA, and from someone who worked with her she had large hands and also had been engaged to Jack Kelly (Grace Kelly's brother) Well most of this was denied by one of the lady's who seemed to be getting angry every time I mentioned something that was intended to be a polite description, because I really was fascinated by Harlow and always wanted to meet her.

 I was almost to the point of asking how she knew so much and just at that point the lady who knows me from the gym said "should we tell him", the lady who was (the know it all) says "I'm her sister", Holly shit, you could have knocked me over. I was absolutely speechless and "Taken Aback". It was an honor to meet her but I was also so embarrassed that I had made a couple of unfounded and ignorant statements, no wonder she was so defensive of her Sister.

I hope I learned my lesson to not speak off the cuff about things I don't have personal knowlage of, I chastise my wife for doing that and I fall into the same trap. I guess its true about gossip "What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth".

 My public apology to anyone I may have offended.

My Life Was Stolen

I hope no one will experience what happened to me this past week. I went to my local bicycle shop to replace my bike saddle. As I took my bike out of my car I always lock it, but at times, because the unlock button is easy to push by accident, especially if you're caring something I may unlock it by accident.

I went into the shop and the owner was nice enough to personally take care of me, the whole possess was about 10 minuets.

I came out of the shop and went to go into my car and noticed EVERYTHING I had in my passenger side was gone, my camera with flash unit and lens, my 2 purses and my camera bag with an telephoto lens all gone. In my hand bag was about 650.00 dollars because I was going to Costco to buy new tires and they only take cash or check, I like to pay cash. All my personal cards, heath insurance, credit cards, drivers licence, EVERYTHING gone. It was as if someone just stabbed me in the heart.

I was some what fortunate that about an hour later the camera bag and one of my hand bags were recovered (minus the cash). The next day around noon I received a call that my wallet with all my ID and credit cards and insurance was found next door behind some stores (minus the cash), I have to say, my ID was more important than the cash. But my camera, lens and flash are gone, about 3000.00 plus the 650.00+ cash and some other personal items that are irreplaceable.

With all the grief, worry, stress and concerns, guess what, no one really gave a shit, but guess what does concern (some) people, the fact that I dress up and become happy. So they can kiss off as far as I'm concerned, there's not much anyone can do, but at least lend some emotional support, just saying if they can help in anyway or making a suggestion as to how to address the strain it put on me. The one person who did voluntarily set the ball rolling as far as canceling accounts and keeping me calm, was my old standby, my wife, what a Mensch she is, and how lucky I am to have someone so supportive in EVERY aspect of my life. She is a HERO in every sense of the word, no wonder I love her.

Singing In The Rain

I've been told not to give up my day job, this proves it

 

Interesting Saturday Night

I went to my usual haunt in Somers Point this Saturday, the place was very busy. As I was leaving around 11:15 a very attractive lady beacons me to her. I went over and she asks if I remembered her from the week before, I must meet about 100 people every time I'm out so it's hard to remember. She said she was trying to dance with me, possibly I was focused on the ladies I was dancing with and just didn't pay attention, but she looked familiar.

She introduced me to her husband, they look mid 40's or so, she asked me to sit on the other side of her and offered to buy me a drink, I attempted to pass it off because I wanted to go home but she insisted. So now I'm obligated to stay there, which was fine, she was very nice and VERY pretty.

As we talked she mentioned she was 6' tall and then told me she had been separated for awhile from her husband at one time and moved in with another guy. It turned out the other guy was a closet CD and for some reason just just loved Cd's, as she was talking with me, she had her hand on my leg and was openly rubbing it (I always wear pantyhose and guess the feel is stimulating).

I was pretty concerned her husband was getting a little up tight, he was not quite as tall as her but I'm only 5'3, she kept buying him beers and telling him they would leave in a few minuets, he kept going out for a smoke. I didn't get out of there till 1:30 and I think she was pretty turned on when she left. The only thing I mentioned was I like to do photography and she would look good in some of my "special" things.

I can't make this stuff up

Last Saturday (Memorial Day weekend) my wife and I went to our karaoke place in Brigantine, NJ. It's a sort of new place for us because the other one was swamped by Hurricane Sandy.

Due to the Holiday I wore my Navy Lt dress jacket with a white skin tight dress. We were sitting at 2 tables pushed together on the dance floor with 2 other couples. Behind my wife there were booths. I was called up to sing, as I was standing by the Mic, I saw a woman come over to my wife from one of the booths to talk with her. After we left, I asked my wife what the woman was talking about, my wife said she asked who the Lady was (meaning me), my wife said "Oh, that's my husband", the lady replied Oh, OK.

Now you have to understand, that my wife is cute but on the heavy set side and due to a recent Para thyroid condition is losing her hair and with the short hair and her body build takes on the image of being on the "Dyke" looking side. So it's very possible that me looking like a female Naval Officer and my wife looking a little on the lesbian side, the lady may have thought we were a gay couple.

I love it.

Little Things Mean a Lot

Under normal circumstances this wouldn't seem like such a big deal, but in my case it was very heartfelt and impressive.

Last week I went to a funeral of a past customer of mine, many of my old customers had followed me between two different locations and because at one time I had a tremendous amount of competition in my neighborhood (they had at least 5 other choices for the same service within a 2 block area), so I tried to be as devoted to them as they were to me.

This happened to be a Jewish service, I'm half Austrian Jew half Italian so a little familure with both services, I much prefer the Jewish customs. As I was walking to my car after the service the ex-partner of the deceased woman's husband who were both Neurosurgeons, put his window down and asked if I was going to the cemetery, I said I'm not sure, he said, come on get in I'll take you and bring you back, we can go to the Shiva afterwards.

OK you ask, what's the big deal, well it's this, just about everyone, including this Doctor who has met me out en-femme knows I'm a Cross Dresser aka Transvestite. He had so much respect for me, so much self confidence in himself, such a mensh (A mensch is someone who is responsible, has a sense of right and wrong and is the sort of person other people look up to), that he had no issue with lowering himself to my level and insist he act as my chauffeur.

It is hard for me to convey how impressed I was with this small act of kindness considering the way most people have treated me as Lou and then to have someone of this persons caliber be so nice to me, it has helped restore my confidence in people. His wife (who is dealing with some illness) was also an example as to the way people treated Lou, but one night when I was out in Margate at a higher end restaurant/lounge, I was taken back by the lady manager to a table where this Doctor his wife and 3 other ex-customers of mine were seated (all Doctors) and she had made her husband get out of his seat to allow me to sit next to her where she put her arm into mine, another statement as to why I am compelled to Cross Dress.

Share Holders Meeting for SJI

Last Friday I went to the share holders meeting at The Mansion in Voorhees, NJ, I've gone for the last 10-12 years as Louise. The meetings used to be closer about 15 miles from me, but the new place is a good hour drive, although it  gives me a chance to go shopping in the area.

The day started at about 6 AM, I ate a small breakfast then showered shaved and did my makeup. I was on the road by 8:30 making sure I'd have time for the 10 AM meeting start. I programed the route into my Tom Tom, which is a little different from the way I usually go but it looked as if I could knock off about 10-15 minuets. I never take the Expressway, but this time I did figuring the time saved and ease driving. I went by the usually road I normally take and then started to get concerned because I wasn't sure where the new route was taking me, so I got off at the next exit. Never the less I got there with just enough time to use the MEN'S room and get a cup of coffee before the meeting started.

As usual, when I walked into the men's room, a gentleman was washing his hands and saw me in the mirror and informed me I was in the wrong room, I thanked him in my Lou voice. After the meeting they serve a buffet  lunch, so I made a sandwich and went into the dinning area. I saw a table with 6 people (10 seat tables) and asked if I could join them, they graciously approved and the one gentleman asked, haven't I seen you at a local restaurant/lounge near where we live, I acknowledged saying that's me, it also relaxed the others if they were concerned. About a minute later the ex Ambassador and Congressman Hughes came over to me to say hello, everyone at the table was very impressed that this person would actually admit to knowing a "cross dresser" and being respectful about it, I was very impressed.

After the meeting I found where a Goodwill Thrift shop was. I started in the skirt isle and happened to see an extremely well built and attractive young Afro-American girl in the same isle, she had a "Brazilian Butt" and was in shin tight leggings. As I just started to go through the rack I saw a little spandex mini dress and handed it to her, she said WOW, thank you, wee that broke the ice. We started talking and looking for clothes for each other and sharing our tastes in clothes. I asked her to try on the skirt so I could take a couple pictures she put on a little modeling show for me right outside the dressing room.

I also had to meet my investment advisor to sing a document, we went to a luncheonette, I had to use the rest room, but I did notice a guy nearby at the deli department, when we left my advisor mentioned the guy was staring at my legs as I walked into the rest room, I mentioned to him, a lot of men do.

The Paradox

A couple weeks ago, I was in the Goodwill Store near me (they're not a charity orginization, if you wern't aware). As I was browsing the womens clothes isles dressed in womans jeans and boots, I notice a very andogynous girl (looked like a boy) who was browsing the mens department.

The New Karoke Place

My wife and I are going to a different place for Karaoke since the other place was wiped out by Hurricane Sandy, it's the second time there last Saturday.

 This Saturday it was fairly busy because they were having an Hawaiian night with a free buffet. I needed to use the restroom (I do the men's). I walked to the back of the place and there were 4 guys (late 20's or so) standing like guards just in front of the two restroom doors so I had to walk around the last guy who was in front of the men's room door. As I went to open the door, he turns towards me and says politely "Honey, I think you want the other one", I looked up at him and in my deeper Lou voice said "It's OK I'm a guy". he replied "Oh, sorry".

 

I have a (CD) friend who I consider very critical, he has often told me I pass in public, I usually disagree and prefer my phrase "I present well", I've never been obnoxious or Narcissistic enough to consider myself "passable" and actually have more interesting conversations when I'm "made", but maybe he's right.

Getting gas

Last night (Saturday) was the first night in 2 months my wife was able to go out, she had spent almost 4 weeks in the hospital and about a month trying to recover, besides, the weather has been poor over the last couple weekends and not worth the effort to go out.

We were going down Shore Rd and turn on Delila to go to Brigantine and decided to buy gas at the station there, I was dressed as Louise.

A older very dark with a white beard, Indian (I guess) and looked very Tribal came to our window. I asked him to fill it up with regular, he paused and looked at me and gave me a huge smile and said "oh yes pretty lady". He was busy but came back to top off the car, as I paid him, he said "You come back again, soon" with the biggest smile he could muster. My wife looks at  me and says "OH MY GOD", I said the same thing.

Very amusing to me, but so sad

OK, this may sound a little paradoxical, but most people who have talked with me or followed my Blog posts have to know I (as Lou) have a very low self esteem, that's the reason I dress as Louise.

So the strange part of this little post is:

Last week I found a pair of like new women's riding boots at a Thrift Shop. They fit well although they were very stiff at the ankle area and I wanted to break them in, but I wasn't dressed as Louise. I usually wear women's jeans anyway and the boots have about a 2" stubby 1"x1" tapered heel (like the old Cuban heel style) and the style and shape are like women wear with Jodphors for horse back riding in a Tan color.

I stopped in at the local WAWA for a cup of coffee, the price was 1.07 for the last month and I go in with exact change, when I went to pay, the cashier said the special was over and it went up, I said no problem, I'll get the extra change. I went out to my car and an older gentleman (about 60's) comes up behind me and says, I'll pay for your coffee. He had to be just behind me in line and heard me say I had the money, I wonder why he offered to pay for me (maybe the boots)?

My confusion is, I realize everyone noticed the boots as I walked into WAWA, you have to walk the Gauntlet (so to speak) because the check out counter is where you walk in and every ones heads in unison (like 8 people in line) looked down at them. So was this person affected by the way I was dressed, it had to be, because he never met me before and we had no conversation. Would he have done the same thing if I was just dressed "normally", that is my question and what makes me sad.

The Restaurant

My wife and I go to a Greek restaurant The Windjammer, in Somers Point, NJ most weekends, I do go at times en-fem. This weekend as we were leaving, the two sisters who are owners started to talk with us. The one said, I have a funny story to tell you. One of the servers had seen me and had become attracted to me. Before we left I need to use the restroom and due to the fact I don't consider myself "Transgendered" I'm really not allowed or welcome in the Lady's room, and I don't want to insult or put the restaurant in jeopardy of losing customers, so I respectfully us the men's room. It so happened the server asked the owner why and she informed him I was a male, apparently he was very disappointed.

The other lady owner said I have a story better, one of the servers went into the restroom when I was in the stall. I came out and washed my hands next to him. When he came out he reported to her that a lady was in the men's room.

They, even though being Greek, are very open minded and got the biggest kick out of the responses of their staff and customers. I'm sure they defend me if or when it's needed. That's what I call having character.

The Senators Son

A couple weeks ago I received an Email form a lady who is married to a Senators son. She asked if I would come to her husbands 40th birthday and sing Happy Birthday, Marilyn Monroe style. To say the least I was very humbled.

She offered to pay me, but my interest is more about being accepted and respected for who I am, besides, the Senator was once a customer of mine and his sister-in-law is a customer of my wife.

I'm not sure about the impression I left on them, but I know there were a lot of pictures taken and the good think is, everyone joined in to sing with me (I'm a terrible singer).

To rotect the inocent I've pixelated the faces of the Son and Senator.

Saturday night with Joyce Brothers

Not really.

Saturday night I went out with my wife, but not to our usual haunt, which had been severely damaged by "Sandy". We've gone to this other place occasionally but it's not as much fun.

Our friends had saved us a place at their table where an older couple were sitting. It turned out the man was a retired local judge and the lady was a still practicing Physiologist and she actually looked a little like Joyce Brothers.

The Physiologist and I talked the whole evening but when she got up to dance I noticed she was wearing over the knee Dominatrix high heeled fetish style boots, I asked if she had brought her riding crop and she said she just needed a subject, I think she has a kink.

She had mentioned to me she had a few patients who also cross dressed and were dealing with issues, she mentioned (but I feel it's unprofessional) she might contact me for help, we'll see.

The Judge kept falling asleep at the table, so they had to go, I guess I know who steers the ship in that relationship.

It's always something

Friday Oct. 26 Th I went to the Photo Expo at the Javits Center in NYC En-Fem as I have for the last 6 years. I usually have one or two interesting things happen but not as interesting as I did this time.

I got the 12:00 PM bus, it was about 80% full, I like to sit alone, so I sat in the isle seat and put my bag in the window seat, then I usually switch after everyone has seated. A young girl, about 21-22 got onto the bus last and wanted to sit in the front seat next to a woman who did the same thing I did, the girl exclaimed she wanted the isle seat because she was going to use the rest room during the trip, the lady told her to sit next to the window anyway. As she sat down she reclined her seat and the guy behind her pushed it backup harshly and said I don't want your seat back on me, it seemed as this young lady with Green and Blond hair was going to be a problem. She made a choice remark and said I'll find another seat, guess what, she asked if she could sit next to me. Being the Lady/Gentleman I am and not really knowing if there were any other vacant seats I move to the window seat and let her sit.

This bus makes a stop in Toms River and it was non eventful, she talked to her mother on the phone and may have been listing to music on her phone. After the stop in TR, she started to take out some books from her back pack, she wasn't annoying me but it was hard not to notice. She wrote a note and then started to look at her book, and then asked me if I would like to look at it when she was done, it was maybe 10-15 pages long and a little like a Dr. Suss style hard cover. Turned out it was an artist book with his works, which looked interesting, I thanked her and then instead of her reading her book she started to have a conversation with me.

It turned out she's an aspiring artist going to Fashion Institute of Technology which is the same school my son and daughter in law went to. Since we had something in common we had a nice conversation, of course my Louise persona came up, and I also commented on hers, I mentioned she may be into Goth or New Age, she said she preferred the later term.

We then reached NYC and greeted each other a good bye, turned out she was very nice even though she had greenish blond hair, I hope she felt I was nice too, even though I was a male in women's clothes.

The next thing on my agenda was trying to go in the right direction from the bus terminal, it's about 4 blocks South and 3 blocks West to the Javits Center and even though I had brought women's workout sneakers to walk in, I wanted to present a little sexier so chose to walk in my 2 1/2 -3" heels. As I made my way to the escalators and out to the street no less than 3 men approached me asking if I was interested in a "date", as I walked down 41 st., 3 more men asked the same thing, "WTF" is it with people in NYC.

My first stop was the pizza joint at 40 Th. and 9 Th, 1 dollar slices 2.75 for two and a Coke. I put them on one of the 2 pedestal tables available, there was a pretty big African-American who was busy with some chicken, we didn't make any eye contact, I don't even thing he knew I was there. But I see some guy at the other table peering around the big guy standing in front of me, he catches me noticing and ducks his head back and then does it 2 more times each time ducking back. He then has to cruse by me and then back again making sure I notice him, he gives me a big grin and then walks outside but is still standing around the pizza joint. The Black guy leaves and this other guy comes back in and leans over to me and says "I do the same thing". I'm really not surprised others CD, it was just interesting how intimidated he was but also drawn to me and need to share his secret.

We had a conversation as I ate and he told me how was married and somewhat new to the lifestyle as far as wanting to express himself with others with the same needs. I told him of 2 places he would fit in and he mentioned he was going to a fairly popular woman who does make overs for other Cd's. Apparently he has met a couple other "girls" from there. I indicated I wasn't looking for any provocative encounters and I was satisfied with what I do as far as being respected in public and made comments that a lot of "girls" hurt themselves and others because of the way they may act in public or express themselves on the Internet. Let me say this, we all have our needs and interests, but those are no different that the way you would be with your Wife, GF, or SO, it's between the two of you and remains behind closed doors and no one Else's business, just my personal opinion.

I wanted to get to the Javits Center and he asked if he could walk with me, I didn't object but we only walked about half a block and then parted ways politely.

I go to the show and as usual it was packed, I only noticed a couple people even notice me, they and myself were more interested in watching some of the exhibitions and seeing the new hardware and software upgrades. As I walked around I went by a booth where to young gentlemen were autographing their picture, I asked what they did and the one fellow said I'm a builder, I took it to mean he was in carpentry, so I joked, I guess you'd like to "nail me" and to the other "you'd like to Hammer me" they laugh out loud, I guess I took them off guard. One of the sales reps for the camera company wanted a picture of the 3 of us, well I am a photo nut, so I had not problem with that. As I thanked them for the courtesy I shook their hands, they both jumped at my grip and one said WOW you hurt me, I laughed and said, just because I dress like a pussy, it doesn't make me one, there was a younger woman stand next to us and they all burst into laughter. It turns out that these to young men are the Guinness Book World Record holders of/Champion Races and Bike Builders, what special gentlemen.

The rest of the event was pretty non remarkable, I was there till 5 PM and they actually turned the lights off to make people leave. I have to admit, my feet were killing me by then and I still had to walk back to the bus terminal about 7 blocks. I got to my terminal, but had to wait about 45 minutes for the bus, if you're not there early, you may not get a seat. The rest of the trip back was non eventful until I was waiting for my wife outside the bus terminal in AC, a big African - American was trying to start a conversation with me, but I was politely disinterested. I was glad my wife finally picked me up and my feet were even more happy. The next time I won't be as vain and wear my walking shoes.

With my dogs as Lou

My wife left Friday with a couple girl friends for the Outer Banks. I was pretty bored by Sunday so I figured I would take my two dogs to "Dog Beach", they were never there. I got them on the beach and the one was very skittish due to the wind. As we were walking there was a young couple with an English Bull Dog, the girl wanted to pet my two dogs. As I was waiting I noticed her husband/Boyfriend had flip flops on and his toe nails were painted pink, honest to goodness. He in no way looked like he was gay, contrary, I thought he was either a cop or just out of the service, he was about my size, a little taller and had one of those cop hair cuts like the troopers have. Well I had to mention them, he said he lost a bet, I decided not to push the issue, he looked like he could get nasty. They were walking back to their car and I went a couple hundred feet more out. I started back but my dogs were pulling to get back fast, so the couple and I got to our cars at the same time. I got the dogs into the car and figured I'd show a couple some of my Louise pictures to the girl and to help the guy feel more comfortable. They were very polite and thought it was neat. When I went to get back into my car, it was locked with the keys and dogs inside, obviously one of them hit to auto door locks while on the arm rest. So now I was really stuck. The couple asked if I had another key, which I knew I had one but couldn't remember if I had put it in my other car, he offered to drive me to my home (about 10 minuets from the park). I couldn't find the key but I had kept my lockout kit from my shop, so I grabbed that and we went back. Fortunately he actually got the car opened by tripping the switch through the door jamb. What a relief, there are still some good people around. BTW, they were from Philly and just down for the day.

Labor Day Party

 

My plumber

My wife tried my breast forms on

  At the Angel store at Smithville, do I fit?

This Past Sunday my wife's friend asked us to go to her brother's Labor Day pool party. He also coincidental happened to do some plumbing work for me a couple years ago and he had met me as Louise previously and was at my birthday party, so her brother and I aren't strangers, he insisted I come as "Louise" (I rarely pass up those invitations).

Believing it was a pool party, Millie and I dressed in swimsuits. When we got to his home and walked through the garage to the back of the house there was no pool, although a canal, also, their were about 20 VFW guys, mostly older men and their wives. I did feel a little uncomfortable, not for me, but I didn't want to be an embarrassment to the host.

I mixed mostly with the women, they seem to be more comfortable with me and got into a couple conversations. I find most people where ever I go, especially women tend to be very open about their lives and find me easy to share some very private information, perhaps they feel safe and that I'm more understanding and sympathetic to their issues.

We only spent a couple hours there and our friends wanted to leave, I felt I had to go around and say goodbye to the people I missed. If you know anything about most VFW types, they like to stick together in one area or table, I went over and started to say goodbye to a small group and asked when they had been in the service, they were all in 9 years after me at the end of the conflict, I went in at the beginning, they were very impressed that I looked at least 20 years younger than them and also my waist line was half theirs, they treated me with respect after learning a little about me.

We also went to the Shops at Smithville after.

Asked for a date

Last Friday night I was at one of my local haunts in Somers Point. Most of the people know me (both ways). As I was speaking to a couple I've known about 10-12 years a fellow about mid 40's comes behind me and takes hold of my shoulders, as I turn he says hi, I'm here with my brother and father, they want you to come over with us. I said OK, I'll be a few minuets. Apparently they were ready to leave and the 3 of them came over, it was an older gentleman (their father I had met a couple years ago at a different restaurant, he was recently widowed then.

I'm not sure if he knew or didn't care that I was a CD, but with his 2 son's standing there and the   couple I was talking with he said "Louise, I want to take you to dinner this week, I'm leaving Thursday and it would be an honor". I have to admit I was really taken back at how comfortable he was at asking me for a dinner date, but I was really taken by surprise. I said I'm OK with that, but understand I am a Lesbian, I just wanted everyone who was listing to the conversation that I wasn't going to be intimate with him. I asked if they know how to contact me and they didn't answer, but out of self defence I didn't offer my card with name and phone number, to be honest, I was afraid the couple I was talking with would have BLABBED all over that I went out with a man.

My Birthday

Last week my wife threw a surprise birthday party for me, she told me one day before so I could invite anyone I may have wanted to, but obviously it was very short notice for one of my "special" friends.

Never the less about 25+ people did come and to be honest it was just enough (no one for the Alternative life style). I was surprised to see my brother and his wife, also my son came down from NNJ.7

The cake was very special with (I guess) a lady in a dress who was supposed to resemble me. All in all it was a good time.

Topless

I never go out with out a top to cover my arms, but last week I took a deep breath and went for it, the first time in 16 years (other than on a boat with limited audience).

You could say, I'm built like a woman body builder. I was very surprised at the general reaction, I think it was good because all the women and many of the men had to feel.

Cellophine Man

Friday night I was sitting talking with an older man who I met about 15 years ago when I first started to go out, he was part of a (so called) clique of guys who were all friends and hung at "Bubba Mac's" restaurant lounge, as you can get from the name of the establishment, it was sort of "Red Neck" in atmosphere. Surprisingly I was almost immediately welcomed into this clique of guys, most likely out of curiosity and questioned about my "alter ego", so I tried to explain it by example.

Many people who have seen the story "Chicago" never get the drift or real meaning the author was attempting to convey, there was another movie with exactly the same story base "The gun in Mary Browns bag". Both of these story's are based about obscure persons who through unusual circumstances become extraordinary celebrities. Without going into details (see the movies), I tend to take on the character when I am Lou of "Amos" the husband of Roxy Hart in Chicago that no one knows who he is. He sings a song "Cellophane Man" the lyrical rhetorical that manifested into my feelings about myself, were "YOU CAN LOOK RIGHT AT ME, WALK RIGHT BY ME AND NEVER EVEN KNOW I'M THERE". That's the way I feel about myself as Lou, the only time I'm recognized as Lou is if someone needs to use me as a "whipping boy" as some of my cycling associates do, they can be very direct, especially this season because I took most of the year off the recover from a couple medical procedures, so I'm really struggling.

As we sat talking people, mostly women a few guys too would come over and great me, asking how I've been and just wanting me to acknowledge them, I would say no less than 40-50 people over the hour and a half I was there. The person finally says to me, "I GET IT NOW", everyone here knows you and just loves the hell out of you, now I understand why you need to dress, it's amazing, you're really a celebrity and I'm proud to know you.

What can I say other than for people to see and be there to see what I feel, I also hope others either in the "Lifestyle" or outside it will learn we all need to be recognize but to do it in a positive way so as not to hurt others.

Informational meeting at the Urologist

As men age some people develop undesirable conditions, I think mine are caused by the effect of cycling long distances over the last 30 years.

Last night I went to a informational meeting and found it very interesting, but that's not the reason for this post. As the meeting finished and the people there were talking among themselves I mentioned to a very large Irishman that he looked familiar and asked if he patronized a particular restaurant/Lounge I go to often en-fem. He confirmed he did, I said "Oh, you've seen me there, but you don't recognize me" I said "I'm the little blond", he looked and smiled and then laughed, shook my hand and said "one night I was there with my wife for dinner, you walked by me and winked, I followed you as you went by and said to my wife, that's a hot piece of ass".

I wonder what he thinks now?

Last Friday night (6/1/12) I went to a new restaurant/lounge that has recently reopened with a new name and owners in Somers Point (name intentionally not mentioned).This place has been very successful since day one and the owner is VERY accepting of me, so much so he intentionally makes a point of finding me and greeting me each time I come there, although, I don't want to encourage other Cd's to patronize the location for fear it may "label or Tag" his business as a CD/TG hangout.

As I started to cruse one of the 2 bars I ran into the Ex of a friend of mine who I still ride bicycle with, as you can see she is very attractive and accepting of "Louise", totally contrary to her Ex-husband. I have mentioned to him (or asked), if he's so straight and hetero-sexual, why is it he likes to screw me every time he sees me?

Stock Holders meeting

A couple weeks ago I went to the SJI stock holders meeting in Voorhees, NJ. It was fairly uneventful, although as I got out of my car a gentleman recognized me from the Ram's Head venue (no longer exists), he was with a friend who is a real-estate broker in Ocean City and of Dutch heritage.
We walked in together and they asked me to sit with them during the meeting. The Dutch guy seemed to become very comfortable with me (as a person). Afterwards they asked me to sit with them for lunch, I excused myself to use the rest room and when I came out went looking for them, there were two banquet rooms and I didn't know where they were.

I wound up sitting at a table of strangers to each other and it was almost like sitting at a funeral, so, I opened the conversation asking if they agreed with the reason the CEO gave about the softening of the stock price, everyone finally started to talk.

I was sitting next to an older couple (late sixties early seventies) who seemed very nice, but as the rest of our lunch partners left she had to ask me about my persona. We got into a nice conversation and she mentioned she was a Baptist and never met anyone like me. She continued that she was very happy she met me and I really impressed her with my appearance and respectability.

Bottom line is, act no differently as you would in public when cross dressed as you would in "gender accepted" clothing and you should (hopefully) be accepted by most people.

My Plumber

Last night my wife and I went to a birthday party for a friend we've known for about 10 years, a very nice and accepting couple. As we came up to the table there was a person I had install a Rinnai tank less hot water system for me about 2 years ago.
After the work was done we had gotten into a conversation about some personal situations being that we know a lot of history in this area. I felt comfortable sharing "Louise" with him, after all he was a someone I wasn't going to have a LTR with and I just like to share both sides of me with others.
It turns out he is the brother of the woman who we've been friends with and had no idea of the connection. When he saw me his comment was "you do it right".
Now I think he wants a LTR, he said I look like his old girl friend.

A Sunday outing

Sunday I was getting ready to ride my bike, when my appointment reminder popped up on my PC. There was a show at Stockton Collage I wanted to go to with my wife (Millie) "The Sound of Music" a sing-along, I felt it would be fun. Besides it would be a Louise day.

I got made-up and dressed and we headed out to Breakfast at our usual Diner. I had shown my pictures to a few of the wait-staff. Our waitress arrived and greeted us "good morning Ladies" and then asked if we wanted something to drink, we both replied and then she almost yelled, OMG it's you I had no idea. I had probably shown her my picture less than a month before but she thought (she said) I was a natural woman and couldn't get over my eye makeup.

A couple minutes later another waitress whom I had shared my pictures with walked by and recognized my wife and looked at me and mentioned my necklace, I said thanks, it's from Millie's store, she also said OMG, I had no idea it was you until you spoke. The two of them and the woman owner kept coming back to our booth just to look and compliment me, Millie by this time was getting more agitated, the one waitress said, well you're beautiful too to her, as an afterthought, she knows my wife leaves the tips.

There were some women dressed as Nuns portraying the Nuns from the Abby where Maria, so after the show I asked if they wouldn't mind having my picture with them, they want me to join their order, can you see me as a Nun?

The Classic Auto Show in Atlantic City

I like going to the Classic Auto Show when it's in AC, but due to parking difficulty's in the city and the outrageous parking (15.00-20.00) and admission (20.00) fees I stopped going.

I went this Saturday because my investment advisor said he was going with a friend of his and that I was welcome to go with them. We had to park across from the entrance and walk not more than a block, but it was so windy that if I hadn't taken my wife's advice and brought a scarf to hold my hair in place I would have had to chase my wig down the street.
My advisors friend had never met me or anyone like me before and obviously had some type of a discussion about me before picking me up, the advisor asked me to explain why I dressed and since my advisor had often visited my business he was able to concur with the way people would treat me, which made it more comprehendible for his friend to try to understand my (Particular) reasons for cross dressing.
We went into the center, they had brought lunch and wanted to eat before walking the show, I told them I'd go ahead and meet them when we were ready to leave. As I got to the top of the escalator, the first vender I ran into was a lady I had talked with last year, she was so happy to see me and even remember my name, she asked if she could have a picture of me too, we talked a couple minutes and I went into the show.
I was dressed to blend but in my Louise style, I had a nice form fitting but not to tight jean dress on, a leopard print top and brown 2 1/2 inch HH boots on. I know I was drawing a lot of attention and due to that, people tended to scrutinize me a little closer and most were able to "make" me (I love that), why go out cross dressed if no one knows you are.
Everyone who I noticed who noticed me would smile (mostly women) and then would shake their partners arm and nod over towards me, I was going to say something a couple times, like, would you like my picture, but just kept going, they weren't being rude, mostly interested in what I was about.
I walked around for about 3 1/2 hours, my feet were starting to feel it, so I decided to go out to the lobby area and find a seat and rest. There were hundreds of people walking back and forth , not many noticed me or cared if they did. A group of 4 guys passed me, the tallest one (6'3 or so) fixated on me, I looked and rolled my eye's as if to say "Oh Brother", I sat waiting for my ride to show up, about 15 minuets later someone whispers into my ear "here's my number, call me later", it was the tall guy who must have ditched his friends in order to come back with his phone number, I just said thanks.

Millie doing makeup

Millie's Makeup Video

My 2 lawyers

Wednesday February 1 st, I went to a function where I was dressed as Louise in the late afternoon, I don't always dress en-femme early unless it's on a day I can also go to another venue, this being a Wednesday I know Tomatoes a restaurant/lounge would be fun that night.
As I walked in I saw one of my first lawyers walking out, I had just talked with him the day before at the gym we go to. I grabbed his arm to stop him and looked up (he's 6'7" tall) and said hello Ken, he looked at me and said hello, but I'm not sure I know you, I said it's Lou, his reply was LOU?, yes, Lou, he said OMG I just saw you yesterday, you're beautiful, I really like it. I'm sure when we meet again there will be more conversation.
As I looked around I saw another lawyer who I used to race bicycle with. Being out in public for 16 years I can't remember who has or has not met me as Louise, I went over to him and just looked up at him (he's about 6'1" tall) he looked at me staring and he being a gentleman looked down and said, hello, I'm Jack, I replied I know your Jack, I'm Lou, he said LOU?, I said yes, Bicycle Lou. He was amazed, he said you look a hell of a lot better this way, he bent over and kissed me.
When people ask me why I cross dress, it's obvious to me.

Just a few updates

I've had a busy couple months, so I'll try to give a brief update of what I can remember.

Today I went with my wife to her surgeon, she had a procedure done on her cheek and it had formed either a keloid scar or a cyst so he had to redo it. My wife has told me before not to talk during her appointments especial if the Doctor  has a knife in his hand, so I was keeping my mouth shut. As he started on her he asked me how much I was spending on my Louise wardrobe,  he brought the subject up because I was wearing a pair "matador" type tights" and a woman's jacket. He wanted to pursue the conversation, but I tried to keep my answers brief so he could concentrate on Millie. When we left I said to Millie, it wasn't me, I did not start that conversation, she had to laugh and said, maybe you can marry him. Oh well!

A couple weeks ago we were invited to join 2 other couples for dinner at our regular restaurant we go to on Friday night. I started going there alone about 2 1/2 years ago and then started to bring my wife. The owner was some what aloof when he first met me. But last week he stopped by the table to make sure everything was OK and kept making an obvious wink at me so everyone would notice, what a "card", LOL.

A few weeks ago, we went to the Buddakan restaurant with the Epicurean group, usually the dinners can cost in the 100.00 pp range, we were charged 70.00 for two people. I would say they do feed you well, but it's really out of my budget.

Last weekend was the Miss'd America at the AC convention center. When the original Miss'd was developed it was a parody on the Miss America in Atlantic City and used to be almost ad-lib mostly, this show last week was done so professionally it was actually better than the real Miss America and the Drag Queens had much more talent, I tend to be pretty critical about things, but I have to give it a thumbs up, it was so good most of the humor was left out and wasn't as funny as the original.

New Years Eve

New Years Eve I really didn't want to go out, but rather than stay home I suggested we go to a place in Margate. I decided to go as Lou, I figured I'd give my wife a break and I was weary of dressing up the day before and shopping.

We parked in front of place on the opposite corner of a place we don't usually patronise but decided to go in anyway. The 2 piece group playing and singing happened to be casual friends of ours. We sat at the bar next to 3 women (age's 50-52), they kept staring at me, possibly because I had skin tight straight leg jeans on with high heel ankle boots on.

Finally one of the woman said "I like your boots", which offered me the opportunity to show my pictures of Louise (I always carry them), I insist people know both sides of me and can see I'm not always a little ugly guy. The one girl, the prettiest one said "I don't get it" she seemed a slightly tuned off and a little hostile, the other woman, seemed about the same, but the most unattractive was very accepting and wanted to talk about it. Eventually, the prettier girl asked me to dance with her 3 times, so maybe she saw I was pretty normal after all.

One other interesting thing happened too, 3 unassociated people bought up drinks all night long.

Hopefully it's an omen for a good New Year.

I don't go there

I had visit my Doctor near Philly Wednesday, a 1 PM appointment, by the time I left and made a couple stops on the way home it was around 4:30 PM and I was hungry, so I stopped into a Pizza joint on Rt 73. As I walked in there was a pretty big Afro-American standing at the cash register, he was hard to miss because he was built like a big body builder. He took one look at me and yelled, Wow, you must work out!!!!!
I have to admit I'm not built to bad for a 5'3 some what stocky person, I do have a metamorphic body type but I haven't lifted a weight since I was 16 years old and couldn't now if I wanted too due to a few shoulder injury's, I need a replacement shoulder. Well he in so many words called me a liar and grabbed my arm and said "shit" you're hard as a rock, you do something. I said I ride bike with a race group, but most of those guys are really build like cyclists, small upper body's and arms, I have a large upper body. He then put his arm out flexing his bicep and asked my to feel it, I really didn't have to, I could tell he spent a lot of time in a gym. He also noticed my necklace, to me, it's androgynous, he said it was a symbol for balance (I don't know). I was dressed in my tight woman's jeans and a spandex shirt with my woman's purse, maybe he was unsure or just like femme looking guys. That was the third time in a month a Black guy has had to comment about me.

Saturday Night Karaoke

My Wife and I love to go to Brigantine for Karaoke, I wore a pair of skin tight stretch jeans and boots

The Church Christmas Dinner

My wife belongs to Church where she sings in the choir. She had bought 2 tickets for us to go to a dinner party and told the lady that Louise would be coming, it didn't seem as if it were an issue, at that time.
A few weeks later, one week before the dinner, she recieves a call from a paid Church member  who has known my wife and I for about 15 years (he never met Louise though, only saw one picture).
My wife came home and asked if it was necessary to go to the dinner as Louise, I said no, but what happened for you to ask me after you said it was OK. She said this person had mentioned that because there could be some elderly church members they may not understand or be comfortable with "Louise".
Needless to say I got pretty upset, first off this is supposed to be an open and accepting Church, the assistant minister is even gay. I went over to the church to have a conversation with the minister to get the to the bottom line of the concern. As I went in the person who called my wife said the minister wasn't there and said he would talk with me. I got pretty direct and felt he had a lot of nerve to insult and embarrass my wife that way, he's supposed to be a friend.
The next day I went back, but dressed as Louise and had a chance to talk with the minister (he also only saw my pictures, but never met Louise in person). His comment was, I really doubt anyone will even know, you look great.
Friday was the dinner, the first person to apporch me was the one who made the comment to my wife, he said, WOW, you do look good, I can't beieve it, I'm really glad you came dressed.
We sat with 3 other couples and one single woman. The couples were very friendly, especially this one guy I felt at first would be a tough cookie to handle, he turned out to be VERY accepting and needed to joke with me and mention he loved the Sinfeild episodes with the "manzierre and man bro". The single woman seemed to be over the top and I had to be some what stand offish towards her, I just don't care for some people who want to be to helpful. I'm really not trying to be judgemental, BUT, she had way to many talents for someone at her age to be divorce and without a job since she was a, medical assistant, beautician, makeup artist, legal secretary, jewelry designer, chef, sales person, professional singer and still in collage, seemed pretty versatile to be collecting and living off assistance. Oh yes, she got a couple doggie boxes and filled them with all her food and as many cookies and cakes as she could stuff into them.
Sunday my wife came home from church and was very up beat, everyone who saw us at the dinner had come over to her and complimented her on how good I had looked and presented myself.
I'm so happy for her, she is definitely my hero and has more courage in one finger than I could ever have.
I love you Millie.

Louise

It's funny

Last week I went to my wife's store, I like to dress in woman's jeans woman's turtle neck, 3/4 inch heel Mary Jane type sandals, and my black shoulder hand bag. I was pretty androgynous.
As I crossed Ventnor Ave to my car, a tall Afro/Amer was leaning on a parking meeter staring at me, I just gave a glance or two to see his reaction, he went over to a grocery store door and called to me "your hot". That's the second time an Afro/Amer made a polite remark to me in about 2 months, I guess they understand prejudice and like to compliment when they see something unique.

Chamber Of Commerce

Tuesday evening my wife and I went to a Chamber of Commence toy gifting event. I dressed as Lou because it's a lot of work for just a couple of hours at one place, besides I had been out from Friday till Monday dressed en-femme and my face needed the rest.
To my surprise many of the people didn't recognize me, although, about 50% did. After the general gathering had ended a few people had stayed to socialize and a few really liked my wife and were quite friendly with her so we stayed later too.
There was one very tall girl there, she must have been about 6'2, late 20's or early 30's, she was having a good time most likely due to a few Cosmopolitans and became somewhat playful with all the men. At one time she had leaned back on her stool, spread her legs to raise them to lay them on one gentleman's lap where he and I had to close her legs and try to keep her from falling backwards., in other words she was smashed. But before that, one person who knew me wanted me to share my Louise persona with her, that's when she become way to friendly with me. My wife thought it was somewhat humorous but annoying.
One of the officers of the CC (a lady) said I really need to talk to you, I thought, Oh boy, here it comes, they don't want me attending meetings dressed, instead she said, I have a family member who Cd's also, but he's gay and it really troubles me. I guess we'll talk sometime in the future, but CDing seems to be very prevalent no matter what the reasons may be.
There was another person there who seemed to look as if he would have been pretty turned off by my "Alter Ego" so I wanted to keep it quite from him, we had raced bike together and he was a really tough rider, he had broke away from the whole group last time he rode with us, so he was serious about sports. One person who knows me both ways said you know Lou "Cross Dresses", this guy was a little stunned, especially knowing me as Lou (I've been told I  take on a mobster type appearance as a guy). I had to at least show my picture to save myself from him thinking I look terrible en-femme, his response was, if you come to my office to talk over your investments, I want you as Louise. quite a compliment, I think.
Next to me were another group of people, I started to talk with the woman and asked where they lived, turns out they live in Brigantine, of course I mentioned to Red Neck bar my wife and I go to on Saturday nights, she said, she goes every Saturday too but never saw me, she asked if I sang and said yes "Wonderful World", she said I don't recognize you from there, out came my picture, she went nuts, she said "your Louise" I LOVE YOU, she hugged me and kissed me all over, her husband and another couple were there and they were all surprised I was Louise.
It was an interesting night to say the least and what everyone seemed to agree on, is they loved my honesty and openness, but I have to give my wife the credit for that, I could never be out without her, she's my HERO.

The Tweed bike ride

I was invited to do a "Tweed Ride" Sunday 12/12/11 in Ocean City, it's where you dress in (period) clothes from the early 1900's, most were in 1915-20 styles, there were only about 15 or so who participated, we did 8 miles at a very casual pace (8 MPH) and went back to my friends house for Chili a beverages (wine and B&B). I was dressed in female equestrian dress style clothing with a equestrian riding helmet, I'll send couple pictures after I down load them. Millie helped with the food.

An observation

Friday night I had dinner with my wife at our local Haunt in Somers Point, they treat me us VERY well. As we sat and people were coming in some came over to us to say hello, one was the past CEO of SJI (South Jersey Industry's), he has done this before and his acceptance impresses me, the next was an old classmate, we only knew each other casually in HS but have conversed more now since my "Louise" persona. As we sat, I notice a familiar couple sit next to us, but I have a terrible memory for some people especially if I've only met them less than 3 times. The gentleman looked as if he were slightly dazed, as if he may have suffered a stroke at one time, his wife had to read the menu to him also. As we got up to leave and I walked towards him he stopped me and asked if I was friends with a certain person, I said yes and then realized who he was. I was really impressed that in his condition and never seeing me as "Louise" he knew who I was, we had a very brief conversation, I wanted them to enjoy their meal.
I still had my glass of wine I hadn't finished so I went into the bar area, as I did a lady I've known for about 20 years came over and asked me to join her and her daughter and friends on the porch area. The other 3 lady's (not talking about her daughter) were very attractive, we talked for about an hour and the one invited me and my wife to her house party. One of the interesting observations I had was they were all divorcee's, very attractive, early mid 50's, able to attract almost anyone but have developed "Reputations" which I feel have kept men form being anything more than casual "intimate" acquaintances.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I try to keep myself beyond what the "traditional" (closet type) cross dresser has presented themselves as which has caused many Cd's to be abused or criticized or insulted if they try to go out in public. As much as I've attempted to distance myself from that association I still get occasional negative remarks from Gossip from a few people who may feel I'm taking a little of their lime light away, I'm a very easy target and people will side with others no matter how much they may trust me or respect me. Remember Judas?

Camber of Commerce

Wednesday I went to a Chamber of Commerce get together as Louise, about 125 people attended, most were owners or managers of local businesses and also the re-elected Surrogate Judge and a current Mayor (who I've known for many years).
A few people greeted me without any reservation, I guess most have become fairly comfortable with my "alter ego".
I was sitting with a lady who joined me at my table when some announcements were being made, I really wasn't paying much attention until I thought I heard me name mentioned, I asked the lady sitting with me, if I heard right that I was announced (introduced) by the person speaking who said "we have "Louise Tate" with us tonight. I was really surprised when everyone applauded. I mentioned to my table guest I was impressed with that introduction, the lady said why, I said I don't think they have many cross dressers as members, she asked, you're a man. Maybe I pass better than I thought.
I have to mention in all honesty, even though the judge knows and respects my brother (who was county treasurer), I don't want to go before him if I ever wind up in court, of course he would need to excuse himself, but I could see the Book being thrown at me.

The Epicurean dinner

My wife and I often go to the Epicurean dinners once a month (depending on the location), this month it was at the Atlantic City Country Club.

This month the sisters from Crazy Susan's Cookie store in Ocean City, NJ were the guest speakers. I had gone to get some h'orderves for my wife and myself and my wife was talking with a lady, she introduced her as Crazy Susan's sister (Linda) and said this is my husband Louise. My wife went to the lady's room and Linda said, I didn't realize you were a man when you came over to us.

The rest of the evening went fairly normally, most of the people know us from the 3 or so years we've been members, if not they ask and then after becoming comfortable that we're not soliciting anything start talking with us.

NYC trip

Last week I went to the Javits center by bus in NYC. When I went to purchase my ticket (I'm entitled to a discount) I was asked to prove my age, the counter person asked 3 times before he asked for my ID which is now my drivers licence with my Louise picture on it.
The trip was non eventful until I got off the bus and a woman who had just met me the night before as Lou came up from behind me calling my name. She said she didn't recognize me the night before but had met me as Louise before as a blond but I was wearing a darker wig to go to NY, she apologized for not recognizing me on the bus and it took her some time to realize I was Lou from the night before.
She looked at me and said "how do you do this you look so different, there's a world of difference between you and Lou". Anyway we both needed to use the rest rooms and go separate ways.
In Port Authority Cd's have to use the proper restrooms for their gender, so I went into the men's room. When I came out of the stall I went to a mirror and set my bag on the sink next to it, it was also next to the pass way to the terminal, as I was touching up my eye liner a middle aged guy stops in the pass way and stares at me, I turn to him and said "well it is New York", with that he looked stunned and left. When I came out of the restroom I noticed him in the main terminal area looking towards me, so I went over to a security person and asked for directions, he must have thought I was saying something about him stalking me and took off.
The rest of the day and trip back was non event full other than the bus running very late and had to stand for almost 2 1/2 hours in my HH boots.

Sunday at the Famers Market

My wife and I had a non event day so we decided to go to the Berlin, NJ Farmers Market. I don't want to sound judgmental but this is a pretty lower income place mostly patronized by farm workers or locals, but it has some unique stores including, a large wig shop and a nice shoe store and some interesting women's clothing stores, we go 1-2 times a year and I've gone as Lou or Louise.

This time I went as Lou but dressed in tight woman's jeans, woman's sandles and a form fitting spandex women's shirt and a baseball type cap and a woman's shoulder bag and looked pretty androgynous.

As we came in I needed to use the men's room, my wife waited in the main hallway. As I came out we started to walk and someone says behind me as he's passing "excuse me sweetie" as he goes by he's about 500+ pounds and African American, my wife said when I went into the men's room he called his wife (or whatever she was) and said to her, "that's a man, I know it's a man, but he's pretty". Even though I'm pretty straight and he definitely would never be my interest, I thought it was a great compliment.

Bottom line is, we all want to be admired under any circumstances.