The Pull Over

A couple Saturday's ago 05/06/09, my wife, her girl friend and I (Louise) went to Brigantine, they have a Karaoke night there. It was late, about midnight when we were traveling home and went through a few towns, I hadn't had a drink in over an hour and I only have 2 anyway. I notice a car pass in a no pass zone and figure it's another motorist, but it was a cop, the usual thing happens , lights and all. He comes's to the window and I great him, my wife and her GF are trying to keep a straight face when he asks if I was drinking and I said "officer, I don't drink". I hand him my licence and other information and watch as he walks back to his car. He gets to the front of his where the light is better and as he's looking at my licence he turns back to us and hands me back my information and says, someone called from another town saying to were swerving, but I think you're OK, have a good night.

My wife and her GF almost couldn't contain themselves and were bursting to laugh and had to hold it till he was in his car, they wanted to bust my chops about the not drinking comment and how he didn't want to deal with a Cross Dresser.

I've been pulled over many times, one reason is because I'm usually one of the few car's on the road and it could also be I'm tired and may indeed weave a little giving the illusion of intoxication, but every time I've been fortunate either because of the way I'm dressed as Louise or how i present myself. Also maybe the Cop feels he doesn't want to look prejudice or want to deal with the Louise thing at all. In any event, it's a discretionary call and I appreciate the consideration.

Like the 3 Stooges

Last Wednesday I made arrangements to go to a Photoshop seminar at the Convention Center in Philly. I had to get up at 5:30 AM, shower, shave, dress (as Louise) take my medicine and get to the Absecon train station.

Well, I wear a blond wig and I think it's rubbed off on me, I only used the self ticket machine once and that was with help last year. I felt I was running a little late and didn't want to screw up so I asked a lady for help. She happened to be Asian and if you know most Asians they tend to be very fast. I told her I wanted a one way to Philly, she started to push the buttons so fast I couldn't tell what she was doing. My back was to the tracks and I heard the train arrive and she pushed the last button and ran to the train, I grabbed the ticket and jumped in as the door closed and found a seat facing a rather large gentleman. As I settled into the seat and a little out of breath I noticed we may be going backwards, unless I was sitting facing Atlantic City. It took a moment to realise I was going the wrong way and confirmed it with the large gentleman facing me, he smiled and said "we're going to Atlantic City" almost in a gleeful way.

There was nothing I could do and now I'm really concerned if they're is another train or way I can get to Philly by 9:30, I was (to say the least) pissed.

I get to AC and ask a conductor about alternative transportation and was told the bus station is just out the door, so I run there and ask the ticket girl about the bus to Philly, she said yes it stops out the door way, so I go out and don't see anything and go back in and ask about a ticket, she said "Oh, I didn't know you wanted to go there" (Oh well). She starts to print a ticket and I ask what time does it arrive in Philly, she says 10:45 and I don't know where in the city it stops at. I said, I need to get there by 9:30, she said "you can got to the Greyhound line about 4 blocks away, they get there by 9:15.

I ran over there and just got a ticket and on the bus as it was pulling out. Turned out to be much better, the bus station is right by the Penn station food court, I had time to get a bagel and coffee from the Pennsylvania Dutch people and find a seat in the conference room.

I also met the girl who belongs and does the photography for the Epicurean society I belong to, we had lunch together and found out we have a mutual acquaintance that we both know that Cross Dresses too.

It was a rather long seminar with a few breaks. I used the men's room as Louise and I know cause a few remarks. As I was leaving the seminar I used to men's room at the end of the corridor in order to avoid causing others discomfort, but it was full, I had to wait a short bit and then a stall became available, as I was in there I heard the room get quiet, when I came out of the stall it was empty, I don't know if everyone ran out or what happened so I took my time and was washing my hands and turned to get paper to dry them, as I did an older (maybe 65-70 yo) man walked in a saw me and started to turn and run out, I called in my Lou voice, you're OK, I almost gave him a heart attack.

I walked back to the bus terminal and was reflecting on my thoughts about Cross Dressing when I was about 6-7 years old. It was because I had just walked by a Cop who glanced out the side of his eye. When I started down this road I felt I was not only the only person in the world with this off beat perversion, but that I would never allow anyone to lean my secret, in fact I wanted to die because I knew it was wrong. But now I walk down the street anywhere, anytime, in front of anyone. As the famous quiote goes "One small step as Lou, one giant step to Louise"

All in all, it was an experiance, but no trouble at all.

My reason for Louise

I'm pretty sure anyone in this lifestyle has asked themselves or have been asked what they really want out of this lifestyle. Many insist they were born the other gender than what they are "MTF or FTM", many just like the idea of cross dressing in private, then advancing to going out, maybe passing in public and so on.

Today, while washing my car it came to me, I don't want or need to be a woman, I've really never felt other than what I am, a guy who looks and is treated better as "Louise". So in my particular case I just want to be Lou as Louise, I want to be treated the way people may see me, as a person who has the courage to be themselves, make a reasonable appearance in public and not someone looking for more than consideration and acceptance.

I think to many, so called "TG" lifestyle people are pushed over the edge by peer pressure and then realize afterwards they made a terrible mistake. Many have never even ventured out in public in they're alter ego persona, but have this burning desire to transition. Yes, after 13 years and meeting many TS's, I did finally meet one who seems to have made the right choice as far as their holistic manners, presentation, voice and style, but they even are dealing with some questions. After all it took me almost a life time to finally come to some sort of answer about myself.

I think many people forget the word "compromise", I have and am much happier for it..

Louise

One for the book

I went to a regular spot I go to in Margate on Saturday nights. It still amazes me at how people people always like talking with me. I like to walk around the bar and see who's there for general conversation, quite often people have mentioned I ignored them and that is something I never want to do, I love the compliments.

I went to the other end of the bar where a gentleman who is a Horse Vet was, he's a pretty big man and seems to adore Louise, he even dances with me in this lounge, which I feel is very brave. He was talking to two women (41&45 years old), he said he was going to the lounge next door and left.

The two lady's seemed to be very comfortable with me and were very interested in a conversation, we talk about 15 minuets and then asked if I would like to join them next door, So we went, the older one bought me a drink, we walked around and she knew as many people as I did and we were introducing each other to our acquaintances. We were next to the dance floor and were being knocked around so we went to a different area at the bar. there was another woman who started to talk with me, she said she was 46, married, a school teacher, and was questioning her sexuality (I don't know why people are so free with personal information with Louise), she then asked me to come closer to her, the one girl, who bought me the drink asked me to dance, we were on the dance floor a few minutes and the school teacher came over and started to dance and was hugging me, she had to be about 5'10, I came up to her breasts, the other girl got upset and asked if I knew her, I said no, she said then get away from her, anyway we went back to our seats, even the tall teacher, It was about 11:30 and I like to race bike in the morning so I had to go, as I started to leave the teacher stood up with her back to me and grabbed my arms and put them on her breasts, I got out fast.

the lawyer Friday 4/10/09

I received a phone call from a law office Friday afternoon. It was related to a matter about 3 years ago at our neighbors home where they had a wedding reception for their daughter and the new mother in law was suing for a trip and fall (what a class act).

There is an issue which just arose within the last few months that caused us to no longer be on speaking terms with these people due to (you guested it) Louise. Funny thing is she was the one who promoted me to ALL her friends and always invited me as Louise to any function, but due to peer pressure, she has, I think, considered me competition against her.

I informed the attorney about the problem and also mentioned she seemed to have a "Megalomaniac" persona, the attorney started to laugh out loud and said I made that assumption from the investigators report, I then explained why. He seemed to be totally confused and asked if I was Millie, my wife, because he was sending subpoenas out to both of us. I explained that I was Lou and Louise and my wife was Millie, it took a few moments for him to adjust to the explanation.

I then told him if I were subpoenaed I would present myself as Louise in court, he said "I can't wait to meet you".

The interesting circumstance here is that the reason of our conflict is due to Louise, but the person who is going to give the testimony that will clear these people from losing the case is the person they dislike, "Life is a Paradox"

The DMV

A few weeks ago I wanted to renew my wife's registration in person so I could see what effect I would have at the DMV. The DMV is located a a local mall nearby. I went in and they have a reception area, I was told to complete my form, which I should have done at home. I didn't have my wife's insurance information, thank goodness for cell phones.

I completed the form and went back to the reception desk and handed it to one of the women (they seem to be very focused on their jobs), she asked for my drivers licence which I handed to her, she took a look and said this is your husbands, I said "no it's mine" she did a little double take and said "Oh you really do look much better as a woman".

From there I had an appointment in Atlantic City, well not really an appointment but I wanted to talk to someone about a legal issue. I was informed he was busy and expecting another client shortly, by the time I got to the office we were still on the phone, so I said I'm here now and the receptionist called him to the waiting area. He took one look at me and invited me back to his office where we talked about 30 Min's. It's amazing at how well people will treat me as Louise, Lou would have diffidently had been brushed aside and told to make an appointment.

Saturday night with my wife

My wife will go out with me once a month or so. Last night we walked into a very upscale restaurant in Margate. It was very busy because of a black tie event. One of the first people to come over to me was the president of the Atlantic Community Collage, Dr Mora, he remedied me we had met at one of the Epicurean dinners we had at the collages restaurant. He also introduced me to his wife who is a PHD and professor, his daughter and son-in-law, I was very impressed at how well I was accepted.

I know a couple people there and like to walk around to talk with them, I saw the owner, Sofia, she and her sister have always been very accepting of me, as I walked in her direction, she push past the people around her and said "Louise, we miss you, where have you been" she hugged and kissed me. Then, the person who was being honored, Dr Dominck Potena (he was retiring) saw me and takes my hand in front of everyone, kisses it and then kisses me 4 times right on my lips, and his daughter was right next to him.

If you ever met me, you would know I'm just not capable of making up these story's and it's a good thing my wife and her friend were witnesses. I only wish I had the courage to ask for a picture but I felt with that company it would have been poor etiquette.

"And people wonder why I cross dress"

Interesting effects Louise has on people

On Wednesday the 11Th. my wife was away and I was sorta bored so I dressed as Louise. I went to lunch and then to the thrift shop. I noticed one person who I know is a closet CD because my wife and I have seen him often looking at women's clothing and taking it into a dressing room. I tend to avoid him because I'm just not interested and he isn't really interested in anything other than the clothes as a fetish.

As I was looking through the dress area, a gentleman about late 40's (Hispanic) approached me with some dresses and motioned to me to try them, he was also a CD and buying some items for himself and felt comfortable sharing it with me.

I found two items and went to the register. The cashier this time is also the assistant manager, she's been there about 3 years, she has never talked to me as Lou, and always looks at me with a stern and scanning expression, I didn't even know she spoke English. I put the clothes on the counter and she looked into my face and eye's and said "I like, very nice, I love your lipstick" and had a big smile on her face. I was floored, I thought she didn't like me, I have no idea if she knew who I was or even knew I was a guy, but it sure made my day,

I left the thrift shop and went to the Verizon store to check out a new phone. The salesman was very attentive and as he when back and forth trying to make the exchange and set the phone up I would be unattended. First the security guard came up behind me and greats me by saying my femme name "Hello Ms Louise" he knew me, but I couldn't remember him, it's awkward when that happens. Next the lady who owned a lounge I used to go to came in and walked over to talk with me, in the mean time at least 3 other sales people came back and forth at least 3 times to make sure I was being taken care of. Then one of my old customers came in and we started talking, everyone seemed to treat me above and beyond average of what Lou would receive.

To prove that last statement, I had to go back to have something else set on the phone and the treatment was reasonable, but not at all with the same attention as Louise.

Saturday night with the Wrestlers

On the 17Th of March, Louise was invited to a birthday party at the Trump Plaza for the bar tender/school teacher of Good Fellows. The one person from the night before was there and a different cop. I was also surprised because they were having the wresting championship here and the lounge must have had 200 guys who were attending.

I must have made an impression because I was dragged onto the dance floor and just about had to wrestle with everyone there. They had a blast, I was wore out, but everyone was a total gentleman, and the lady's liked me too. Only one person was a little apprehensive and when I meet someone like that I don't push my luck.

One other interesting thing happened, I lost a little bracelet and figured in that crowed I'd never find it. As I was getting on the escalator a lady came over and asked "is this yours" it was my bracelet, I was very impressed, she could have easily pocketed it and no one would have been the wiser. Good for her, she was brought up right.

Friday at Good Fellows

I went to Good Fellows restaurant/lounge Friday night the 16Th. As I came in I was greeted affectionately as usual. As I came around the other side they're was one of the bouncers from Bubba Mac's where I used to go before it was tore it down. He was with two other couples and his wife, one is a cop and the other a weight lifter. The cop and other person were pretty much enamored with Louise, they were grabbing me but nicely and we just had a great time.

My friend the bouncer emailed me a few days latter and said the other two guys were still talking about the night and how much fun they had with me.

It's so good to feel accepted and considered someone who isn't a threat and you can have fun with. Oh, I have a tradition, when I meet someone with a shaved head I need to give them, "The Mark of Louise"

You have to take the good with the bad

I've been having shoulder difficulty and am told it's ill repairable, I've had 3 opinions and I'm still not totally convinced that with today's advanced technology and skills that nothing can be done. I located a hospital in Arizona that does (I think) shoulder bone grafts. I contacted them and said I had new MRI's, I was asked to send them a CD with the pictures. I wanted to do this as soon as possible and went last Friday the 6 Th. to get a disc form the imaging office.

The office staff are always professional almost to the point of being overly animated and patronizing (a cool and firm greeting) . For example, "YES, HOW MAY I HELP YOU!" "TAKE A SEAT AND FILL THIS OUT!" you get the idea. Well Friday is my Louise day and I had other errants besides that one so I wanted to be dressed. I went into the Imaging office and the same young lady who usually (puts me in my place, firmly) says "yes madman, how may I help you?" I explained my needs and she said "no problem, you need to fill out this form, but I can do it for you" she filled the form out for me and gave it to me to sign and said, "I hope you don't mind, we usually need 24 hours notice but because it's Friday it won't be done till Monday morning" she was so apologetic, almost to the point of tears. I really don't know what my impact on her was but I think next time I need an MRI Louise is going.

My next errant was to stop at my local thrift store since I had missed Wednesdays sale day. It wasn't very busy but I did recognize one person who I'm sure is a closet CD, he's sort of a very heavy guy and I'm sure very closeted and nervous, he always looks around to see if someone notices he's in the lady's department. Another man, I didn't pay any attention to was checking out dresses, he was a little taller than me, maybe 5'5 or 5'6 Hispanic with a carpenters type jacket and wool cap on. He come over to me and shows me a dress and says, this would look nice on you, then he has another one on his arm and holds it in front of himself and says this one is for me, he also had some panties and a couple of bra's hanging from his hand.

I've been patronizing this thrift shop about 8-9 years, there's a woman assistant manager (possibly Filipino, but no matter) she never smiles always "scans" me in a very negative and questioning way, never a smile and I just figured didn't speak English well. I picked out a few items I liked and tried them for fit. I went to the register to check out and she was working the register, I said to myself "I'm in for it now, I'm sure she'll give me a nasty look" I put the items on the counter and she looks right into my eye's and say "Very nice, I like, and your lips look so good" I was stunned, I didn't even know she spoke English and also so nice to me, maybe she didn't even put the two of me together, but what a feeling I had, LOUISE WORKS.

The same day I had made arrangements for a new friend to visit, she's a TS, she came about 5:30 PM after getting confused with directions (good thing for cell phones). We talked about 10-15 minuets before Millie (my wife) came home. Millie helped our new friend with some light makeup and we went out for what we thought would be a nice dinner, light drinks and music. I got the shock of my life which I will post after I decide on what course of action I need to pursue.

Saturday I did 42 miles on the bike and I was finished and riding slowly (10 mph) with a friend talking, I rode off the lip of the road and when I tried to get back on I was flipped off the bike, as usual you always re injure something you want to protect, I did a flip onto my head (I always wear a helmet) and all my weight onto my bad shoulder, I said to myself, just my damn luck, as bad as it hurt now I'm done for good. I got home iced my hand and shoulder and took some Advil, I can't believe it, my shoulder hasn't felt this good in 6 months, maybe I'll fall on it next time it bothers me.

Heathers Rear End

Heather called me a couple weeks ago because she was having rear end trouble and she knew I was the best rear end person in the area. I had to do some deep research into locating something that had little wear and tear on it, but we all know rear ends always get the butt of abuse.

I called two auto recycle yards (as they are called now), the first place wanted 700.00 and the second was 300.00. Heather as Joe came down on Thursday morning with his trailer so we could pick it up. I was uncertain about the condition so I checked a couple more rears that were in the yard but we decided to take the one we had.

Heather had to go back home to take Rain (his wife) to the doctors, I started to prep Heathers new "rear end" for installation. I found that the emergency brakes were shot so I went to the parts store and bought new ones for her and installed them.

Heather returned latter in the afternoon around 2 or so. We jacked up the car and got to work. I have a damaged shoulder that is now completely gone due to some stress I had incurred before but this job finished it. I also put out for the parts and with Heathers very capable help and her own experience we got her on the road after about 41/2 - 5 hours.

I've done a tremendous amount (voluntarily) for Heather and want nothing in return other than just general courtesy's, like a big hug and thank you. I mentioned I had bought new brakes for her and she asked what the price was, I said buy me a drink or two (they were 31.00 dollars) no big deal and trust me, what I did and do for her goes way beyond money. I do it because I feel she does struggle, I guess, or at least this is not a good time to buy another vehicle. But beyond that I have VERY deep feelings for this person. Why, I don't know but I know she knows my feelings and as I said as we were almost done, " I wouldn't do this for my wife (Heather said) would you do it for your girl friend (I said) you are my girl friend". We both started to laugh almost into tears.

What hurt me though was last night, when I walked in and went in to the end of the bar where she was talking with a newer girl for that venue, she never even said high, kissed me, introduced me to the new girl and totally ignored me the whole night.

I Just don't get it, maybe it's me or maybe I'm just to sensitive, but Heather did make a point of handing out the flyers she recived from the transgender group to every other person there but never even offered one to me.

01/17/09 The Mayor and Louise

As I've mentioned numerous times, I go to my local haunt in Somers Point, NJ. I've met many interesting and some important people there simply because the food, consistency and prices are always very fair which leads to a devoted upscale following, besides, it's just across the causeway from Ocean City, NJ which happens to be a dry town.

Friday the 16th was no different than most Fridays that I've been there. As I was listening to the music and talking with an older couple an elderly gentleman (around 78 yo) approached me and said "there is a spot on the dance floor for another couple", I was very complimented let alone surprised as were the couple I was speaking with. The gentleman asked me to dance 4 times that night.

As the evening was slowing down and the band on break, he came over and asked if I would mind if he sat with me, I would have been rude to deny him, so we talked. He purchased a glass of wine for me. We exchanged pleasantries and exchanged some general information about ourselves. Turns out that he was a vice president for Cigna Insurance company of North America and also a member of the Union League of Philadelphia (google it if you don't know what it is) and also the past mayor of a nearby very exclusive ocean front town, which I'll leave nameless to protect this person.

I felt at this time I had to drop the ball (so to speak) It would have been totally out of my character to present myself as a woman (if he didn't know), besides, I have no idea where he was or wanted to go with this and since he hadn't turned over his life insurance to me, I didn't want to go further. So I said, John, I'm not what you think I am, he replied "you're not a widow", I said not only that, but I'm not a woman either. His response knocked me back a little, he said "I'm drawn to you". I thanked him and said the bar wants to close, he asked if I would mind if he escorted me to my car. He held my arm and hugged me thanked me for an enjoyable evening and said he would be back to dance with me again.

I've been told I'm passable, but I try not to be that pretentious to believe that, I do say I make a nice presentation through.

Louise

Celebrating Life

Many people, including myself (unfortunately) take many things at face value, we may form an opinion just because someone looks or acts a curtain way or their position in life.

The other night, Friday 01/09/09, I was at my favorite haunt. I had met a lady who is on my direct right in the picture, she has always been very kind to me and has introduce many of her friends to me. This past Friday she was "Celebrating Life". I won't get into details, but all of us in the picture has to deal with our own crises or complications in life. Some people need medication, others surgery, others like myself need to become a different persona to get though.

The point is we should never be overly critical in one way or the other from outward appearances.

Friday Night at the Trap

I love going to the Crab Trap, it's about the straightest place in the country and usually no conflicts like last week, anyway, as usual I like to walk around the bar, it's fairly large and possibly 60-70 people will be seated around it.

As I came around on one of my trips there was a middle aged woman who stared at me as I approached her and then swung around as I walked behind her. Being polite I felt I had to introduce myself and asked if she knew me or if we had met before. She said "no" you're just an incredibly beautiful woman. Well I really know better, I may look OK, but I doubt I'm great (maybe I am) I said, but I'm a guy, she repeated herself. Now anyone who has met me knows I don't try to disguise my voice, although I may automatically soften it, so I figured she was just complimenting me about my ability to present my self en femme, but she really thought I was a woman.

I finally convinced her (not the way you want to think) that I was a male and it turned out she was an old costumer of mine (she really changed, LOL), we must have talked an hour and she told me she always had a secret crush on me but I always seemed be be rude towards her. I think the issue I had was I really didn't respect her for her carrying on with different men and her habits and just had no interest. Bottom line was she gave me her phone number to call her anytime. As I always say, I'm just a lesbian but I doubt I'll ever call her.

Louise

So many things happen I forget

A week or so before Christmas Millie and Louise were invited to a house party, the lady was an ex classmate of mine from high school. She was so impressed (blush) with Louise she wanted Louise again at her home, But that's not this story.

As we were getting ready to leave (I was all dressed in a tight red spandex number) our dogs start going crazy (we have 3 Italian Greyhounds), there was a dog about their size a miniature pincher (I had one once) with a little jacket on that read happy "Howodays" and a red collar. He wanted to come in and play, we had no idea where he was from and when we let him in our 3 were on him like "white on rice".

There was no way we were going to keep him in our home and go out, something would have happened, so we called the police and they disclaimed any responsibility, so I figured we'd take him there anyway and just dump him in their laps. The dispatcher finally called animal rescue but said we would need to wait about 20 minutes before they arrived. So I sat with the dog in my lap. All of a sudden cops started arriving at the station and coming in the front door and out from the back, I know they weren't checking the dog out, the dispatcher had called all the cops in to check me out. It was humorous to see the expression on their faces as they tried to make small talk about the dog without laughing. As far as I'm concerned I thought it was great, because little do they know, I know the mayor personally and even have my picture with him as Louise and also the ex city administrator who's father I've known for many, many years.

So many things happen I forget

A

Closed Minds

What's interesting, is it's the so called "straight community" that tends to have the issues, not the alternitive one's. You rarely hear of a gay male or a Lesbian intimidating someone because they don't like their lifestyle, religon or race, but contrary to that, straight people are most often the ones who have those issues. This is a post from 3 of us who experianced from someone his rath of unhappines in his life (whatever it is), possibly, he needs to put a dress on.

Last night I had a chance to go to a local restaurant with two ofthe girls. Everything was going fine, most of the dinner's knew of CuteLouise and had no problem with any of the girls being there as long aswe were respectful of the other dinners. An older gentleman sat besideme and started the 'usual' conversation. "Are you two girls from aroundhere?' 'No? , Well you look lovely" THEN he made Louise. THEN hisattitude did a COMPLETE 360. His first comment..."Is that a MAN?" Isaid 'it's Aunt Louise' He then went on a complete tirade of vulgarlanguage! I said , No, I T's not a sick person, It IS my AUNTLOUISE. I was completely floored! I turned my back on him andcontinued to speak with Louise and Heather. NOW he has made Heather.The tirade gets worst. I now am trying my best not to turn around andget ugly but I don't. As hard as it was....I didn't. We were guests.We were ladies. Finally, the 'gentleman' decides to leave. As he isleaving, his last comment to me was "YOU are a sick mother F*c*er forcoming here with these sick freaks!" I responded with "Well, it was apleasure to meet you" (I was trying very hard to remain civil) Hisresponse was "Well it was NOT a pleasure to me YOU!" He then saidsomething crude to Aunt Louise. (I really didn't hear what) Then stormedout. I thought this world had come SO far with acceptance of anydifferent religions, race and personal choices. It's strange. I guesswe take places like "The Palms" "Georgie's" and "Paradise" for granted.Yes. Georgie's and Paradise are 'gay' clubs. But we have always seemedwelcomed there. The staff at the Palms have little problems with us.We were accepted at the restaurant...But it only took ONE person with aextreme prejudice to CREATE a problem. I was ready to leave. I wantedto cry. We stayed. We talked to some of the 'regulars' who had noissues with 'us'. But honestly..the night was kind of blown for me.I'm not going to be in a huge hurry to go back there.


Well, last night Louise invited us to go out with her to one of her > regular haunts, so we figured why not? We arranged for a babysitter > (camp Grandma) and got ourselves ready to go out. Since it was more of a > casual place, I decided to go with jeans, boots, and a form fitting top > along with my really long brunette wig. We headed to Louise's to BS with > Millie for a few before heading out for some fun.> > When we got to the bar (and restaurant, it was a bit of a classy place > really), we found a pair of stools along one side of the bar so we sat > down and ordered some wine. It didn't take long to figure out why these > stools were open.. They were right in front of the side door. Every time > someone would go in or out, we'd get hit with a blast of 20-something > degree air. After a few minutes of this, we spotted 2 stools that had > opened up on the far side, so we moved over there. Rain sat to my left, > and there was an older guy to her left eating his dinner. He made small > talk, asking what brought us there, etc. I told him that Aunt Louise > invited us down for a few drinks. He then asked if we were sisters.. LOL > We explained that no, Aunt Louise was more of an adopted aunt than a > real aunt. Up until this point the guy was very friendly and chatty with us.> > About this time, Louise came over to see what we were up to and the guy > quickly realized that Louise was a guy. He started making crude comments > (most of which I couldn't hear). One comment which I caught a piece of > had something to do with "trans" something. I could see that the guy > seemed a bit agitated and Rain turned toward me and started to ignore > the guy. I figured he had some sort of issue with us, but didn't know > what exactly. Rain was getting ready to get the bartender's attention > and maybe get a manager. After a couple of minutes, the guy got up and > said something to the effect of us being sick (expletive deleted). As he > grabbed his food and walked off past Louise (who was standing behind the > stools we were at), he made a comment to Louise something like "You're a > sick &#@&#." Louise got pissed and kind of shoved the guy on the > shoulder to tell him he was being a jerk. The guy repeated his sentiment > again as he turned back to glare at us. I started to get off my stool > and gave the guy one of those looks that says "don't even think about > it". The guy said something else rather crude and I told Louise to let > it go, which thankfully she did. We certainly didn't need a fight at the > bar (not that we would have had a problem, as they know Louise there and > we were not the ones causing trouble). The guy backed down and stormed > off making comments as he left.> > A little bit later, the band took a break and Louise brought the female > singer over to introduce her to us and we chatted for a bit and were > generally having a good time. She was an interesting person and she > loved the fact that we were there as a couple. Rain and her chatted for > a while and we compared clothing sizes (she was smaller than me even)... LOL> > There was a couple that were in town for the weekend and Louise had met > them the night before. At one point she brought Dee over to introduce us > and such then wandered off again. A little bit later I went over to be > social with Louise and had some really good conversation with Dee and > the girl sitting next to her (who, it turns out has a gay brother and > has met some TS friends of his). At one point I went over and literally > dragged Rain over and made her be social. She was pissed about the jerk > earlier and really wanted to leave. I told her to not let one jerk ruin > her night, that the rest of the people were good people. She told them > about what happened and they said that they had seen the guy leave but > didn't know what it was about.> > I'd say we must have spent a good hour and a half talking to the girls > and Dee's husband, who also seemed to be a very decent guy. They all > thought it was great that Louise & I could get out as we were and be > happy. They definitely didn't have any issue with us and even seemed to > like us. Rain's mood seemed to improve a little after talking to them, > but I could see that she wasn't happy about the evening.>


I had asked Rain and Heather to accompany me to a restaurant/lounge that I have patronized for at least 3 years. When I had first gone in (because of my popularity) I was fortunate enough to know a few people there who were kind enough to vouch for me in the event management or someone, like the very unhappy and confused gentleman, were to have an issue.

I do have to accept some of the blame in this experience, and I want to also apologize to Rain especially, and Heather, that I tend to dress "UP" when I go out (I want to be noticed), well I was. Apparently, from Rain's comment about the man's inquiry about me, he needed her verification if I was a male. Of course Heather dressed the way she was and with her build and also sitting was considerable less obvious then I. That was when the "crap hit the fan". I'm don't tend to have the same self control as a lot of people do, as a matter of fact my cycling group nick named me "Bulldog" I won't stand for rudeness or judgmental people as far as this lifestyle goes. I realize it's not the best approach and I risked bringing, not only on myself, but Rain and Heather, or anyone in our lifestyle some scrutiny, but I am reactive and impulsive. As this person walked by me and made his little remark I forearmed him, just enough to make him realize that just because we're men in a dress we're not pussy's. Maybe it was wrong and I'm glad it didn't go further.

Fortunately it pretty much went unnoticed and we were to talk with other more sociable people, who tended to be 180 deg's of the other person and very interested in talking with the 3 of us.

Unfortunately, people all have different (negative) views about a lot of things, if they have a "combative persona" and are controlled by peer groups, or something that caused their thought possesses to not realize everyone has their own baggage, and will take any road to help relieve their pain, or make themselves happy. Another observation from the other night makes me realize, that we and anyone who sees us, loses sight that we are usually very active, reliable, dependable and up standing citizens who pay taxes and rarely cause a burden on society.

I just feel sorry after about 4-5 months of getting my friends to come down for a nice evening they had to be subjected to this type of experience.

Louise

Christmas Party 2008

Our party was a blast. I had invited 4 people from the Crab Trap where I go most Fridays and Saturdays, most of these people only know Louise for about 3-4 years. Well about 25 of them came, I was really impressed that people would come to a "Cross Dressers" home without reservation because the accept her so much. I was very grateful.

We had about 75+ people here and I would have to say it was a great success, I got to bed about 1 AM and my wife, her friend and an old Friend of mine went to bed at 3:30 when he left.

Friday Lunch

Friday 12/12/08 I asked my friend Heather to lunch. She had to pick me up at the car dealership where I had my car for instillation of some accessory's I had purchased.

When I had driven into the shop I was greeted by the service writer I had talked with two days before (Wednesday) he greeted me and started to write a work order up as he walked around my car and then realise who I was by the time he got back to the front door, he said politely "I didn't recognize you"

I waited in the show room till Heather picked me up and introduced her to two of the sales people. We went to our usual place in Somers Point, I go there with my insurance man too and I'm known both ways. As we were waiting for our lunch two my my old costumers came in as couples but not together, One of them is a plastic surgeon who has all his photography on the walls of the restaurant, he does outstanding work and does his own printing.

I had to use the rest room, I used the men's because in a small place like that most. I assume realize I'm a guy, But Heather said as I walked to the rest room I did turn heads and she said one person was going to go in also but walked away when the saw me enter.

The other couple were customers from about the first till last day with me at my business, as we left I had to present myself to them, the doctor had already met me and they were involved with eating and I used decorum rather than make a pest out of myself, he had already acknowledged my when they first walked in. I walked up the the gentleman and offered my hand and he apprehensively shook it and asked, do I know you (Heather was next to me) before I had a chance to say anything his wife said "it's Lou from the service station" I have to admit the gentlemen didn't really know what to say or do, he had a totally blank look on his face, it was a classic, do I laugh, smile, run, he was very confused. His wife said at least twice, "you look great" I was very satisfied with the out come of comments.

After that I asked Heather if she would help me set up my wife's karaoke equipment for a party we were having Saturday, Millie met us at home and it only took a few Min's to set it up. Heather had to get home so she dropped me back at the dealership.

I had time to kill and a new bakery just opened nearby, I stopped in just to see how it was and as I was waiting to order some bread a person comes over and says "Hi Louise, it's Jerry Gormly" he's the ex senators brother, a moment later the Senators son Shawn walks over and says "Hi Louise" I look at their table and there was the senator, yes, I went over and he said hi ya Louise and gave me a hand shake. It's very difficult to express the felling you get being recognized to high powered people in normal situations, but in a very crowed restaurant where everyone knows someone like this Senator and me as Louise was just beyond words.

Cycling Club Christmas banquit

I belong to two Cycling groups, one is a club with what would be considered B class riders and the other who consider themselves elite are A+ riders, the A+ group have an issue with Louise and have, for the most part ostracized me (oh well, their loss). The other group which is about 50+ members have absolutely no issue with Louise and welcome her.

Another point is that I was the only incumbent of all the offices reelected to my post as "Club Photographer"

This group has three of us named Lou and we felt it would be interesting if we had our picture together (My wife Millie was the photographer).

Biker Bar II

If you've followed my posts I had gone to a Biker Bar about a month ago. Well I return where the same big white hair Biker approached me again. This time I asked if we could have our picture together. One of his (so called) friends made a comment to him, "you ain't right". As you know, a picture is worth a thousand words, so you'll understand what was meant by the comment.

Louise in Church

Saturday night I had planed on going to Diabloique, without getting into a long story, I didn't. Instead I had noticed that there was an African dance group performing at a Church about 20 Min's from our home. I figured I like some of that high energy music and it would be interesting to go as Louise, what was the worse that would happen, would I be rejected by a group who preaches accepting everyone.

It was a very nice event, I'm not sure if anyone noticed me, but my wife Millie said she saw one woman and a younger male who she said she though could have been gay checking me out.

It was about a 2 hour, very energy packed event, lots of jumping and kicking, almost like martial art's. I guess from where they come from (Kenya) you need to protect yourself.

Their tour leader a (Caucasian) lady explained that they do this for donations only and are in this country for one year. They're air far is donated to them, when they get home they share everything they collected with not only all of their family's which are layers deep but also with the villages. She said they live in those corrugated steel shacks with only 3 rooms where you may have 20+ plus people. It really makes you think how good we have it here even with the taxes we pay.

I forgot to have Millie take a picture of me in the church but I have one of the dancers.

The Biker Bar

I had been invited to a restaurant where the owner was introducing a new chief, they offered "free" (that's the operative word here) Hors D'Oeuvre's and a cash bar. I was somewhat apprehensive about attending but I know the owner personally and he said the upstairs area was much different than downstairs. The downstairs is a "Biker Bar" and one of the qualifications to be a waitress there is to have as many tattoos as possible showing and to drink and fight like a man. In other words, I'm 5'3, and was scared to death (not really) walking into the joint.

And as to my better judgement, as soon as I walked in an older lady recognized me and started talking with me at the door, within 5 seconds a huge man about 6' and a good 250# with a white beard, Harley Motor Cycle shirt, and a bottle of beer in his hand came over, put his arm around my shoulders and said "honey, I'd do anything for you" he was much more explicit than that, but you can use your imagination. I declined his offer and wiggled up the stairs (I love being a bitch).

I was very impressed with the upstairs, it was crowded and the people were what you would consider average, although the Mayor was there, we know each other because I used to do business with him for about 30 years. He usually tends to be obnoxious, not only to me but everyone, but I was pleasantly surprised, he greeted me with a hand shake and hug and even introduced me to a couple people. I don't like to overstay my welcome so I stepped away and ordered a glass of wine next to him, he may have though I was out of hearing range when I heard him say to the people near him "Lou was one of the best auto techs in the area and a great guy, I really like him". I have to say I was impressed.

The rest of the 1-1/2 hours were filled by talking with two men, one who voluntarily told me he was gay and was open about it and his married friend and I took it as they were friends and nothing more. I also bumped into the ex tax collector for the city who was also local theater with my wife His wife just loved the Louise image, but he seemed to be uncomfortable, it could have been the fact that he just had his knee replace a few weeks earlier and was uncomfortable. I did meet one other "Celebrity" there, he goes by Capt Joel Fogel, his father owned one of the largest commercial refrigeration manufacturing company's in the country and supplied all the supermarkets with them. He's a would famous explorer, he was so impressed with me he had to give me his business card. I know he's spent a lot of time in Africa, I hope he doesn't want to take me there and have me meet some cannibals.

As I went to leave, the big guy from downstairs was waiting for me, again he grabbed me and started to introduce me to some of the biker group, I really doubt I'm interested being someones "biker bitch" but it was courageous on his part to accept me for what I am, I'm sure he was harmless, but I wasn't going to find out, I excused myself and left.

Louise

The Crab Trap

The Crab Trap in Somers Point, NJ is one of my favorite places to go on Friday and Saturday nights, I'm just one of the girls.

Food & Wine convention

I guess with all the food shows I go to you must think I'm getting fat, well you guessed right, I need to get on a diet and exercise routine.

Sunday 10 19 08, my wife got a call from a friend he had passes for us to go to the food show at the AC Convention Center. It was really a disgrace, it was about half what is was when they started a few years ago, admission is 18.00 and parking is 10.00, most people go with another person so 50 bucks is just not in every one's budget for such a small show.

Anyway, I didn't realize the also had a wine tasting (private) area, but with the passes we had we were allowed entry. The vendors were giving a small sample of what they distributed, but Louise was offered at least a half glass at every section she went to (I did visit the Amaretto) station 4 times. As I staggered out, my wife said my feet were crocked and to "GIVE ME THE Key's, your drunk).

Afterwards we met a friend for dinner (more food).

Another Epicurian

Monday my wife and I (Louise) went to another dinner function. I was greeted at the registration table with a big Hi Louise, please sign in here, by one of the offices of the group.

It is so rewarding to be accepted by "traditional" people, just her little acknowledgement allowed other people who may or may not be aware of what I am to become more comfortable with me. I am finding the more I stay the same, the more people change.

One other interesting fact was that Frank LoBiano or local Congressman was also there, we had met a few times before and one day he happened to be at the gym I go to as myself (Lou). I had to acknowledge him and said we had met before, he of course did as I do and said " you look familiar (trying to be polite) but I just can't place you, so I said this will help refresh your memory and handed my Louise card to him. He laughed and now he's much more comfortable with me. He greeted me with a big smile and hand shake as he said "we've met before".

October Epicurian Dinner

Out of mouths of babes and NYC

My wife and I went up to NNJ this weekend for our grand daughters 3 rd birthday. I had also promised an old acquaintance (another) CD I would go to dinner and a play with her on Sunday, she's a very senior citizen and gets tickers for 5.00 dollars.

My family and I went to breakfast at the same famous "Pancake house" *The Kid from Brooklyn" goes to. I was hoping he would be there. After breakfast we went home where my GD open some more presents from the party the day before (Saturday).

I had to meet my friend about 3 PM at the CDI apartment in NYC just a block from Port Authority bus terminal. I started to dress and was done about 1:30 or so. As I came out of the bedroom which is off the living room of my kids place, my grand daughter looks at me, smiles and says "Pop pop, you have hair" then she said "pop pop, your silly" she also wanted to touch my hair and said it wasn't real. I have to say, for a 3 year old she is sharp and has a good way of expressing herself. Her mother was there also and later my wife said absolutely nothing was mentioned after I left. I really wanted to try to avoid my GD from meeting Louise at least till she was older, but maybe she will be accepting, I guess I'll find out.

I got to the city without fan fare, whether people noticed or not I'm not sure, I know one girl had to because I kept staring at her, she was about 6'1 and stunning and I couldn't take my eye's off of her, she smiled at me and then started to read her book. I got to my destination right on time.

My friend, Joanna and I had a glass of wine, talked for a few minutes and then took a walk to B&H Camera store, if you haven't been there you have no idea what you're missing, they must do 1-3 million dollars a day in business. We had also walked through a street flea market, it was interesting and when I was up there before I went with my wife. As I was looking for my friend who was looking at other booths a gentleman came up to me and asked if I wouldn't mind him taking my picture. Of course Louise loves attention and to model so he took a picture and gave me his card so I could email for it, but Louise is a step ahead (usually) and gave him one of mine. About 2 hours later as we were going to the theater my phone rang and it was him, he said if I was in town for a few days he would like for me to come to his studio to model, I had to decline his invitation for a couple reasons, first I was leaving after the play and I pretty much know what he would have wanted for a gratuity for his service and I'm just not about that.

I got to my son's home about 10 PM and after loading the car we got home about 2 AM, we took about a 1 hour nap at a rest stop.

Catching up on interesting things

Without knowing me personally it's very hard to feel and know what my feelings are when I'm Louise. If you read some of my Blog posts you'll notice I sometimes mention how poorly I had always been treated as Lou.

A couple weeks ago I went to a street fair in Margate, NJ where my business was, I met a bunch of my old customers and surprisingly they had asked me about Louise, they always gave me a hard time as Lou. I met a lady who my wife knew from a store close to hers and gave her my card thinking she knew me, but she didn't. I felt I had to show her Louise in person, so a few days later I walked into her store as Louise. She just melted and mentioned a few times that I looked exactly like a woman and would have never known if I hadn't shown my picture to her before.

That same day I had my photography club meeting in Cherry Hill, NJ but also my insurance agent wanted to meet me for dinner and discuss a new policy, yes, I went as Louise. He had seen me once before a few years ago dressed, but this time he said (as I sat across from him in the booth) I don't know if I should hit on you or sell you insurance. This guy is an "Insurance Salesman" they have no sense of humor so I really considered that a compliment. I mentioned I would like to meet his wife (they live 5 miles away from the restaurant) so he took me to his home. The main reason was because he has mentioned Louise to her and she commented a few times I had to be gay. I was prepared to meet a hostile person who was going to great me with an attitude, As I walked in, she was standing far back from the front door, about 15 ft as I expected, she took one look at me and almost ran to hug me and draged me into her kitchen, she couldn't do enough for me, wine, cheese and so on. We had a great conversation and I know she formed an entirely different opinion of what being a "cross dresser" may be.

The next place was my camera club meeting, I got there about 45 Min's late. Unfortunately one of the members who I really consider very formidable in his skills and knowledge as a photographer and the biggest and strongest person there who happens to be of a different race whom I'm sure would have had objections if he was treated with prejudice had to make a rude comment "don't let that lady in" I really felt that was uncalled for, I have been to about 4 previous meetings as Louise and everyone has become very accepting and comfortable with her. Anyway, after the meeting one of the members wanted my picture and I will post it here.

The final experience last week was at the Family Center I belong to, it has a health club and my wife takes a couple of classes with the person who recognized me as Louise at the Epicurean dinner we went to last month. My wife and her and some others were at a demonstration for one of the classes and I went over to the lady and said hi, she said I'm sure I know you, but you have to help me remember, what's interesting, she knew me as Louise at the dinner but had no clue at the gym until I gave her my card with a Louise picture on the front. She was ecstatic and we both laughed at the paradox.

That's it till next episode, Louise

I know I look good BUT!

I think I just received one of the more flattering comments made to my by a very nice person but unfortunately we're not compatible and I really would prefer to think of it as an expression of his admiration rather than his intent.

He is a photographer who has seen me in public venues and is definitely very straight. Like many middle aged people he is a divorced father and has custody of his children, I only mention this so it is understood he is an upstanding person and like everyone has a little baggage. With that said, anyone who is alone intimately and trying to get by in life also needs some type of affection and depending on their luck, experience and so on with women tend to develop more of a compromising outlook on life.

Well I can make a short story very long, the other night I was at an event where he was and he took a few photo's of me, he then said, you really look great and I would have love to put you over a table and to have spanked your behind, Oh Boy!!!!!

He also mentioned one of the lady's had commented to him how well I presented myself and how it seemed as if everyone accepted me and welcomed me into the group.

My feelings are, I'm still Lou inside, but people see me differently as Louise and just love my image and will go out of their way for me.

09/08/08 epicurean society

I belong to the Epicurean Society as "Louise" and that is how my membership card is made out to.

The way I got involved is I had gone to a food show and the photographer there does "food" events and asked if I was interested in going to one of the events, how could Louise pass up an invitation.

As we were walking past the windows of the restaurant, my wife mentioned that everyone was staring at me, I was dressed in a VERY form fitting black dress with a flowered print short top on, the dress really showed my ASSets.

One of the couples we have met at other events sat with us, and as I was getting another glass of wine a lady walks up to me and says, did you go to Atlantic City High, I said yes, she said I was your history teacher. I was absolutely taken by surprise, I know I wasn't her best student. I asked how she recognized me, it was because of the big news paper article they had on me a few years ago and she saw my name tag. She just loved my image and was very kind.

I have to admit, for some reason, even some of my old business customers who I had conflicts with and if the could they would have tried to physically harm me, are always attracted to Louise and treat me with total dignity. My wife was very impressed.

09 05 08 Friday with my arobics classmates

Friday I was informed one of the instructors was also a singer at a lounge I have frequented. Most of my aerobics classmates know of "Louise" but haven't had the opportunity to meet her in person, I felt this was an opportune time.



I was only apprehensive of the singing instructor because I didn't want to conflict with her performance and also she seems to be very intense when I've talked with her and I'm not one of her most popular acquaintances.



So in I come and one of the first groups I bump into is a woman who's brother is a friend of mine, she had met Louise once before and she introduced me to the other 3 older lady's at her table. Just to interject, one of the experiences I have come across is that if you are introduced by a person who others respect you're a (shoe) in.



As I checked out the rest of the people at the bar and started to talk with a couple other lady's and again was introduced to a couple others. Surprisingly the singing fitness trainer was very complimentary and liked my outfit, she had a gown on and I mentioned I wanted to try it on, I finally got a laugh out of her.



I wanted to go to another restaurant/lounge so I was saying good night when one of the lady's who just met me started to say,



"I was told your a cross dresser and if I had to pick out a cross dresser in this group, it would not have been you".



What a compliment, I never pretend I pass, especially by the way I walk and talk, I've tried to soften my walk but I remain stiff somewhat like James Cagney who was a dancer but was also so stiff when he walked or danced, it's just a trait I can't change, my voice in some situations for some reason does work and many times if I'm sitting people won't realize I'm a male when talking with me. She also mentioned she was from London and was a physiologist and when she worked for a hospital, they used to strap cross dressers down to a metal box spring dressed and electrically shock them to try to get them to think differently. She asked if she could contact me about the subject, so I gave her my card and we'll see how interested she is.

I'm Popular

Yesterday I did photography for my bike club group, the one that accepts me as Louise and Lou. As I was getting my camera there was an older couple parked next to me and the gentleman saw my camera and commented about it and asked if I was a photographer, my answer was I make a better model, I'm not a Kodak moment as Lou, they laughed. I said well you know a picture is worth a 1000 words, I got one of my business cards out (now remember, these people are old, 75+ and we're in a county park about 30 miles from my home area) she looked at the picture on the front and then my name on the back and threw her arms up and said "my best friend sees you in Somers Point and always tells me how nice you are, I can't believe I met you as you, wait till I tell her" she raved about me, her husband was just as impressed. I went back to Millie (my wife) who was sitting at the picnic bench and told her the in counter I just had, she rolled her eye's before I could finish saying you didn't show your picture, and after I finished the story she was as surprised as I was.

And people wonder why I love to Cross Dress and share it.

Saturday night 08 23 08

Just a quick update. I went with my wife (Millie) to the Crab Trap Saturday night, it's usually a different group of people than on Friday nights. I like walking and working the bar so to speak, if I catch some one's eye it gives me a chance to introduce myself.

I was surprised at how many people feel comfortable with me, anyway, a woman comes up to me and asks if I graduated Atlantic High at a curtain year, I said yes, we were classmates. What's interesting is this person (very nice BTW) never talked to me in school, maybe I should have been Louise when in High School.

I intimidated a police Captian

Friday nights I go out to a couple local "traditional" lounges as Louise. I must meet or be introduced to 50 new people a night, I lose tract and rarely remember a name or profession.

This past Friday I was in Somers Point at an upscale restaurant that has a nice dance band. I was "working the bar" just to talk, when a person who has met me before said, let me introduce you to some friends of mine. It was a gentleman with his wife and sister in law, we talked for a few minuets and finally he told me that they had seen me for a couple years at different lounges and were always afraid to talk with me. It turned out that he was a just retired police Captain from the Camden Police department, when I last checked, I think Camden was one of the top ten city's in the nation for the higest crime rate, I didn't think I was that scary, maybe I better check my mirror again?

Anyway, we talked a couple hours and he wants me to arm wrestle a friend of his because his friend embarrasses him where ever he goes because he challenges everyone to arm wrestle, I don't think I'm that tough, but it would be a hoot if I did beat this person, being a mature, 5'3 tall guy in a dress.

I intemidated a police Captian

I intimidated a police Captain

Follow up A first,I did it

Well, the young person called me again and begged me to please bail him out, apparently all the "friends" and choices he has made in his adult life have been the wrong one's. I had tried to express to him when we first met that it would be beneficial that he take a different path and that the people he had aligned himself with were not looking out for his benefit.

My thoughts again were, 300.00 bucks were not going to change my lifestyle, but could be enough to destroy him.

I called to confirm that the 1000.00 dollar judgement had been removed and was told that someone had "taken care of it" and the balance was 30.00 dollars. You can't call into these facility's so I decided to drive out with 300.00 as I was first told in case the 30 was a mistake. As I was on my way, the person called me and I explained the balance, he said it was wrong, I talked with him as I went into the facility and confirmed on the phone while talking with the receptionist, she would not clarify how the difference became so little, but I did confirm he was going to be released that night.

I had to leave, there's about a 2-3 hour processing period and it was already 7 PM, I asked about transportation for him and she said he will get a bus ticket. The next day he text ed me a message thanking me. I do have to talk with this kid and see if I can somehow impact to how important it is for him to return to possibly a trade school like the culinary institute we have here and focus on getting a job.

My whole take on this, is that it may have all been prevented if the police are allowed to show some discretion and sympathy for certain situations, I don't know the real story here, but I can see lots of contributory negligence on all sides especially from the powers to be.

(1) why would a person be charged with a crime if they are trying to prevent one.
(2) how can a 1300.00 bail amount be dropped to 30.00 dollars, if that was all the judgement
was the crime had to be very minor, why lock someone up for 2 days.
(3) I did ask if that was a 10% amount that is usually posted but was told that was the TOTAL amount.
(4) I spoke with a social worker and asked if she would at least pass my phone number to him so I could explain what had happened and that I did try to help him out the day before, but it was never delivered.
(5) Something is broke here, I now really have major concerns that the general public is at the mercy of a policed state and little by little due to creeping controls we are losing all of our liberty's as we had known them. The police are afraid to error on the side of rational and tend to over react to many situations.

I have absolutely no knowledge of law, but unless you're financially capable to afford the best, and let me tell you, you will pay through the nose for it, you are going to be intimidated beyond belief and will lose everything you hold dear including your liberty.

A first

I was contacted by a young man, 21 at the time, who wanted help with cross dressing about a year and a half ago. Well we're all curious about other CD's so I said I'll meet you and if I feel I can help I will and introduce you to my wife who does the makeup.

He seemed to be a nice kid, but I was very afraid of him, I don't want to sound judgemental but look we all are, he looked what is termed a "wigger" (I think it's spelled), he wore the baggy pants under his butt and talked in the speak they use, he also have a very large tattoo that covered about 30-40% of one arm.

Well I helped him and took some pictures and then took him home. I blocked my SN from him, but he had my phone number (my mistake) again my wife has met him so it's not like we were doing anything inappropriate. I got a call today from the Atlantic County correction facility, I heard the message and hung up twice, but the third time I finally answered. It was him. He was locked up for taking his GF's purse so she wouldn't drive drunk, she pressed charges. He asked if I would post 300 bail, I said I would need to think about it. I called my wife and explained the situation and thought to myself, for a lousy 300 bucks this kids life could be destroyed in a place like that, he's not very strong, very thin and had a very bad car accident which almost cut his legs off, so he has very little strength in them. I began to weep and said I want to save his life.

I drove out to the prison and told them I would post his bail, the receptionist looked up the record and said it was 1285.00, I said he told me 300, she said yes, for this one, but he jumped bail on another one and owes 1000.00, well I wasn't prepared.

After thinking about this I asked myself, why would the cops lock him up if they talked with his GF and she was noticeably drunk, something else is going on here.

I have no idea what to do, anyone who knows me knows even though I have my weak moments I am very sensitive towards others needs, but I don't know what to do for this poor lost soul. I'll call a social worker tomorrow to get some idea, but I think he needs to get his parents involved. I mentioned that to him originally and he told me his mother and step father were in the Pocono's.

Any advise would be welcome.

Life's a Parodox

A month ago I was invited to a party on our block. The woman's mother about my age notice my nails and mode of dress, I wear women's clothes because I like them and because of my small stature fit me better. I saw her scanning me up and down, so I mentioned I notice she noticed. I asked if she would be offended if I explained my look and she said, I'm from Brooklyn and I tech there too, I've seen it all and I understand. So, being that we were sitting at the adult table (no kids nearby) I showed her my business card which as a somewhat PG type picture on it, but again it was the Adult table. She asked me to show her other (300 ld) daughter. As soon as I did and saw her expression I realize I was used as a scapegoat to embarrass the daughter. The mother was a "bitch" and wanted to show the daughter even a guy in a dress was more attractive than her.

The next day, my wife was talking with the lady (sister) that had the party and she told my wife it was inappropriate for me to show the picture at a party where kids were. No kids ever were withing 50 feet of the Adult table and I'm not obtuse enough to know better than ever expose kids to something I feel is inappropriate, I won't even go into a men's public restroom when I'm dressed on the Parkway traveling, I ask to be escorted into the lady's room so people will be aware I'm there and I'm not looking to invade their space.

The more interesting part of this story it, our other neighbor who was very accepting of me till this incident has started to work on my wife to get me to abandon or closet my other persona. She is always full of advice and overflows with her overwhelming knowledge from her 3 marriages and this one is on very shaky ground also to her ex Green Bret Captain who claims to have "flash backs" of battles, when he never stepped foot off American soil, WTF, I do something I'm open about and people seem to like and people who have all this F*cking baggage and lie are giving me advise. I have some advise for them, get your lives together before you try to give advise to others.

An observation

A few months ago I went to a party where some children were. I dress somewhat andogenously and have women's nails. The mother who I find out later is an art instructor from Brooklyn and said she has meet many TG's noticed my direction(so to speak). I had to show (or wanted to show her what I looked like) and asked if she would be offended, that's when she told me her background and said it was fine. She insisted I show my picture to her obese daughter, about (300 lbs) who was married to some 300 lb guy who sat alone with tattoo's all over his body and looked as if wanted to kill everyone there, he was a nasty person. The next day, the sister of the big people told my wife her "fat" sister called her to complain that it was inappropriate to show my picture at a kids party, well I only showed it to the mother and sister.

My observation was, the mother wanted to embarrass her daughter by showing her that even a guy in a dress looked better than her and that it was done as a message, I just happened to be the messenger and you remember the old saying "kill the messenger"

The next part of this story is my wife's closet friend who used to support me now is causing an issue about my being myself, e got into a very heated discussion and I told her, I think outside the box, I and many other Cd's/TG's are non conformists, we like to do what we want and will never try to conform to traditional society. Why is it conformists are so unhappy and Gay's or Cd's tend to know how to make themselves happy but ain't allowed to be because we don't want to conform to people who put on a false facade.

To go further, yesterday, my wife and family went to another BD party with a ton of kids. One lady, fairly attractive about mid 40's was waring a pair of form fitting jeans with a good size hole right near the crack of her butt, I mean you talk about inappropriate dress at a children's party, that was inexcusable, but no one said a thing.

07 28 08 A very busy week

Friday, the 25 th, I was invited to a house/pool party and went as Louise with my wife Millie. The group are mostly work associates from the local hospital (I am only an acquaintance) of the home owner.

I know most of the people from going to the local lounges, and have found they are very accepting of Louise. One lady who met me for the first time brought of a woman (40 y/o) to introduce her to me, she was reasonably attractive and looked something like Liz Taylor after she got heavy. The woman looked at me like a deer caught in headlights, I said to her "don't be afraid, I'm a lesbian" the woman grabbed me and hugged me and said "so am I"( in jest I'm sure, she was all over me for the rest of the night, she said I had met her mother before she recently passed away and her mother was very attracted towards me also. The next day she called me and left a long phone message about how much fun she had.

Saturday, I was supposed to go to my friends, Heather, birthday party in Asbury Park. I had ridden my bike in the morning and was cut off by a car and went down on my right hand, it felt like it was going to be OK but I had broken 2 nails. I came home cleaned up and got dressed, went to my wife's store as Louise but noticed a nail salon across the street, so I went in to have the nails repaired. As I was sitting there I noticed a lady from the aerobics class I go to, I had shown her my pictures about a month before but she seemed to either be ignoring me or not recognizing me. After my nails dried I went over to the pedicure chair she was in and said hello, she looked with an inquisitive expression and finally said "is that Lou". She went nuts, she couldn't stop hugging me, made me step back so she could get a better look and wanted her picture with me. She showed the picture to the class a couple days later when I gave it to her.

My hand began to hurt and swell up so I felt I would have difficulty driving about 160 miles round trip to my friends (Heather) birthday, so I called and begged off.

Sunday. Millie and I were invited to a birthday party for an older lady who has cancer on her nose and she will need to have her nose removed. Last year they asked me to be Louise for the party but I went as Lou this time. I had taken a lot of pictures last year and so did other people, they were reviewing the pictures on a PC and as I was talking to a young girl about 20 I pointed to my picture as it came across and said "that's me", she said OMG, we've been looking for you, meaning her girl friend, turns out her GF's father is also a CD and is lonely and the daughter has to go out with him. She contacted the other people and I made arrangements to meet the father (Sheila), seemed to be a nice person, but he probably was very close friends with "Bud Wiser" if you get the drift, also, when I hear people in their 60's who really need to work on their appearance start to tell me they're considering SRS or GRS I tend to want to get away as fast as possible. I hate to sound prejudice, but being in the life as long as I have , I've found that usually anyone who does that has a hard time becoming happy, I'm sure they're exceptions, but it's just not my interest, I wished him the best, told him where he may find other Cd's or places he will be comfortable in and left.

Wednesday. I like to go to the Salvation Army thrift shop after my aerobics class. I was browsing the lingerie section where a woman was, I picked up a nice body briefer and the lady asked if that was my size. I said I guess you don't know me, so I pulled out one for my business cards with the picture of Louise on it. She said are you Millie's husband, yes I said, she said her and my wife used to do plays together. Turns out she sells on EBay and has a very large amount of Cd's who buy off of her, she goes by "Miss*Hortense", now what are the chances of meeting someone like that?

Night in Venice July 19, 2008

Ocean City, NJ has what is called "Night in Venice" once a year. I think it was developed as an elitist display of wealth. People will spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on expensive boats and summer homes on the bay and try to show how rich they are. This year Ocean City had to offer 100.00 dollars per contestant to sign up due to the high price of fuel. Life is really a paradox, what a laugh, they gave someone with possibly a half million dollar boat a hundred bucks so he could display how ostentatious he is.

Well, Louise and Millie (wife) were invited to 2 parties, we could only do the one because of the parking restrictions in those bay areas. I must say we had a blast. Our group were mostly mature adults but next door the group was much younger, I was very surprised at the reactions I got from them, a few came over to talk with me and one brave soul had to have his pictures with me.

It was a good thing I had convinced my wife to come with me, I drank 2 bottles of wine, got home about 2 AM and then was on my bike for a 45 mile bike ride at 8 AM.

My day before the Judge

I have a very funny incident today that I need to pass on.

I was called for jury duty this week and today we had jury selection in front of the judge and lawyers and other interested parties. One person I know out of 5 who were there and know me both ways was called up to the jury box, and coincidentally, I was called next so we sat next to each other, he was concerned about people knowing about me but I'm so open if someone doesn't know me as Louise I have to announce it. Well I really didn't want to be picked to serve even though court cases can be educational, but I do have other activity's to keep me busy.

The judge preceded to explain our rights and also questioned us about being familiar with the case, lawyers, principles in the case and then if any of the potential jurors knew each other. Well me and the other person (Phil) looked at each other and then said yes to the judge. He asked what the relationship was and I said I wanted a private conference, but it had to be done with the 3 lawyers representing the case and the other juror, well, as Louise I am so confident and comfortable I said no problem. I went up to the bench and he asked me to sit and called the other people over, I said "well your honor, a picture is worth a thousand words", I carry a man bag and have 4-5 of my pictures in it, just to break balls when I can. I pulled out a picture of the just retired county prosecutor and his date with me as Louise between them, they all looked and I said "that's me in the middle" the judge looked, smiled and said "very flattering" the lawyers looked with the biggest grins on their faces, I wonder if I'll get a phone call from one wanting to question me in private (LOL). He asked if I felt it would effect the case and I said, I felt it was possible.